# Worst Food You've Ever Seen Ordered? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236 "2005-05-24T07:02:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/81 "2005-05-27T01:20:43Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Mayo is Satan’s semen. Period. Boo on you! Boo, I say! It breaks my heart to see mayonnaise so maligned and disparaged that its whispered in the same breath as such abominations as “ketchup” and “A1 steak sauce.” Mayonnaise comes from a royal pedigree, yet now sleeps on the streets of culinary skid row. What impelled such a fall from grace? Seriously. Look at the marvel of mayonnaise. What ingenious kitchen alchemist figured out that egg yolks beaten with oil would create a wholly new substance? They should be hailed up there with the same magicians who discovered pulverized grain, egg, water and fungus make fluffy bread, or that milk spoiling in an animal’s stomach would make cheese. These are the true alchemists of the world. Yet mayo endures jests and jibes, being slandered with such names as “satan’s semen.” It’s criminal. Hellmann’s and their ilk? Pffftt… That’s mayonnaise for people who don’t know what mayonnaise is supposed to taste like. I’m almost convinced that most people don’t know what food is supposed to taste like in this country because they’ve been barraged by MSG-ed, over-salted, corn-syrupped, mass produced food products. Pure mayonnaise is oil (usually extra virgin olive oil, perhaps cut with some neutral oil), egg yolk, a little bit of acid, and some salt. It shouldn’t have water and sugar like Hellman’s does. It shouldn’t be made completely of soybean oil. It shoud have an attractive sheen and a yellowish color to it. It should have a silky texture. It should taste good. If you ever want to try making it yourself, the general rule is one cup of oil per egg yolk. Use good EVOO. You don’t want anything too strong and assertive. Nice and fruity is the key. You can cut it half and half with a neutral oil to stretch it and relax the flavor. Start with one room temperature egg yolk. Drop by drop beat the oil into the egg yolk. Do not beat it in too fast or it will “break.” Make sure all the oil is absorbed before adding the next few drops. When you get halfway done with your oil, you can start beating it in a thin stream. When done, you should have an entirely smooth and very thick sauce. It’s absolutely fascinating to do. At first, you beat in the oil and the egg, and you’re thinking “no way this is going to make mayonnaise” about halfway through and a tired arm later, you’re still thinking something went wrong. But then the magic begins. Your mixture thickens and you feel a great sense of accomplishment. You have mastered mayonnaise. After you’re done, add lemon and salt to taste. You can now make the best turkey sandwich or potato salad ever. If you’re not used to olive oil, then be careful and go easy on yourself by using more neutral oil. Long live mayonniase! ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/82 "2005-05-27T02:39:51Z")
I work graveyard shift in an all-night drive-thru that gets its share of drunks, so i’ve been privy to more than a few culinary offenses: -A hamburger with FOUR patties (that’s a pound of meat) -A breakfast sandwich (egg, cheese, bacon and ham) with mayo on it -Hamburgers with fried eggs -Pickles on a taco -Ranch dressing on EVERYTHING - eggs, fried chicken, fish, tacos, even sausage ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/83 "2005-05-27T16:40:02Z")
> [@look!ninjas](#): > > I freely admit to dipping my french fries in mayo, but what I really love is McDonald’s fries (the really limp, greasy, salty ones) dipped in Sweet and Sour sauce. It’s wrong, but it’s good. Ha! I do this too. It is good. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/84 "2005-05-27T18:31:30Z")
Try fries with a good tartar sauce or garlic mayo - yum! ---
**Author:** ![Trafalgar\_Laura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trafalgar_laura/32/2907_2.png) [@Trafalgar\_Laura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trafalgar_Laura)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/85 "2005-05-27T18:48:43Z")
> [@Kiwi Fruit](#): > > And regarding the OP, how about chicken feet at a yum chai restaurant. Gross me out! Chicken feet - yum! You should try a hot sausage sandwich… with grape jelly. Amazingly good. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/86 "2005-05-27T20:16:00Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Try fries with a good tartar sauce or garlic mayo - yum! That should be _tartare_ sauce - though I’m sure the Tartars do some very good sauces! ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/87 "2005-05-27T21:17:09Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > -A breakfast sandwich (egg, cheese, bacon and ham) with mayo on it You add lettuce and tomato to that and you have my breakfast of choice from the local Greek deli. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/88 "2005-05-28T05:37:19Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > The one thing I’ve eaten that icks other people out the most is: > a fish, plucked straight out of the water and a towel is wrapped around it’s head. It’s then quickly pan fried and served immediately. When it comes to the table, the fish is still alive and gasping for air while people pick off it’s flesh. It was yummy 😃 Definitely not Kosher ;j . And just plain wrong… ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/89 "2005-05-28T05:51:54Z")
> [@Odinoneeye](#): > > Actually, that combo doesn’t sound that bad to me. Although I would limit the mayo to holding the tuna together and probably throw a dash of mustard and black pepper too. > > I used to love liverwurst and havn’t had it in years. Went to a deli once and ordered their signature Liverwurst on rye with onions and yellow mustard. I like Braunschweiger, but man, that sandwich had about a four inch layer of the stuff on it. It was a bit too much of a good thing…definite overkill. ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/90 "2005-05-28T05:54:18Z")
To defend some of what you’ve attacked here: The thousand-year eggs actually are awesome in congee. Pork and thousand-year egg congee is a staple of old people breakfasts. The baby octopii (or is it octopuses? Gah.) taste pretty good if you manage to get the thing into your mouth before all the sauce drips off. Some people are totally icked out by it, but I was introduced to the dish at a rather young age so it’s never been much of an issue for me. On lobster sashimi - almost had an eye taken out by one of those bastards. Those antennae are pretty long on larger lobsters. Didn’t much care for the taste. The sickest thing I’ve _heard_ ordered is monkey brain. I think it was my grandfather who told me the story: he saw in a restaurant a live monkey chained to the floor in the center of a table with its head open (à la Paul Krendler from Justice) and people happily taking spoonfuls of its brain right out of the cranium. Now that, folks, is gross. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/91 "2005-05-28T11:00:10Z")
Honestly folks, who here hasn’t consumed bodily fluids of another human being? ---
**Author:** ![meenie7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@meenie7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meenie7)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/92 "2005-05-31T06:31:31Z")
I didn’t see him order it, persay, but I have heard tell of my brother in law eating raw duck bacon. _shudder_ I can really gross my sister out with my propensity to put salt on everything; for instance, instead of putting syrup or fruit on waffles, I like to butter them and then salt them. I also like to pour some salt onto the plate when I’m eating a hamburger and dip the burger in the salt after each bite. As for french fries, through experimentation in the college cafeteria, I found that pasta sauce with meat and grated cheese in it (basically, what’s left on your plate after you eat a plate of pasta with meat sauce) is a really tasty dipping sauce for fries. Mmmm…I want some now…_wanders, zombie-like, to kitchen_ ---
**Author:** ![Fish\_Cheer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fish_cheer/32/17179_2.png) [@Fish\_Cheer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish_Cheer)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/93 "2005-05-31T06:45:03Z")
How about [people](http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A33093-2003Dec3?language=printer)? (Not a Soylent Green joke.) ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/94 "2005-05-31T20:17:54Z")
Once I went to a Baskin Robbins around Halloween (i think this was about 1996) and they had a special Halloween flavor. Black Licorice and pumpkin ice cream with candy corns and caramel corn in it. I swear to god. The place said no one had tried it so i ordered a cone. They were nice enough to offer to give me a free replacement cone before i even took my first taste. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/95 "2005-05-31T20:28:43Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > I used to live near a wonderful Indian grocery store in college, where the jolly proprietor spoke highly of the Indian ice cream flavors. He pretty much forced me to buy a saffron-pistachio ice cream, and while it wasn’t bad, I can’t see ever switching from strawberry for it… or ever trying it again, for that matter. Oh man I LOVE Kulfi. The places I had it in india would serve it on a base of cold vermacelli (sp?) noodles. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/96 "2005-05-31T22:32:12Z")
> [@Stark Raven Mad](#): > > The sickest thing I’ve _heard_ ordered is monkey brain. I think it was my grandfather who told me the story: he saw in a restaurant a live monkey chained to the floor in the center of a table with its head open (à la Paul Krendler from Justice) and people happily taking spoonfuls of its brain right out of the cranium. > > Now that, folks, is gross. Oh yeah. I had the misfortune to see a clip of this on _Faces of Death_. Trust me, it’s something you can’t unsee. It physically sickened me. Personally, I think eating something live that isn’t killed with the first bite is cruel. I don’t care if it’s considered a delicacy, I don’t see any good reason for eating a live monkey’s brain while it lives on in agony. Why can’t they clop it on the head to kill it first and then eat? ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/97 "2005-06-01T00:40:34Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > Ooooh, what was the restaurant called? My dad lives in Forest Hills, and if I ever wanted to play an evil prank on my stepmom, this would definitely be it… Many sushi bars will have geoduck clams on hand for this especially if you let them know a few days in advance. Never had the urge to order them myself. I have never seen or heard of lobsters being served raw but I have seen Ama Ebi served which is shrimp served the same way. ---
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/98 "2005-06-01T14:50:10Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I get odd looks when I ask for a side of mayo for my french fries. Try Bleu Cheese dressing for dipping fries! Yum! Especially when the fries are nice and crispy. _drool_ ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/99 "2005-06-01T15:09:23Z")
> [@Fish Cheer](#): > > How about [people](http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A33093-2003Dec3?language=printer)? > (Not a Soylent Green joke.) Ah, that one. Interestingly enough, the victim was a former co-worker of one of our Dopers, but I can’t remember which one. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236/100 "2005-06-14T04:40:35Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > Ooooh, what was the restaurant called? My dad lives in Forest Hills, and if I ever wanted to play an evil prank on my stepmom, this would definitely be it… I remembered! [Tako Sushi](http://www.queenstribune.com/archives/diningguide/reviews/takosushi.htm)! I don’t know if it’s still open, but that’s the place. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-food-youve-ever-seen-ordered/305236.md?page=6)