# Worst Fortune Cookie Message. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2008, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367 "2008-05-07T00:06:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Thorium\_Indium\_Potassium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@Thorium\_Indium\_Potassium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thorium_Indium_Potassium)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/1 "2008-05-07T00:06:38Z")
“Today is a disastrous day. If you can’t beat 'em, join 'em.” Yes, this is the fortune my poor husband just received. Mine wasn’t much better: “Stepping away from the power position for one day.” But honestly, opening a fortune to tell you that “today is a disastrous day,” surely must spell doom for you. If a bolt of lightening strikes our house tonight, at least we can say we were warned. Have you had worse? ---
**Author:** ![Can\_Handle\_the\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Can\_Handle\_the\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Can_Handle_the_Truth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/2 "2008-05-07T00:29:40Z")
Yea, I’ve had worse. There was a day when my dad told me he never wanted to see me again. I was feeling pretty bad; I was holding back tears as I was eating dinner alone in a chinese restaurant. The fortune cookie said, “You will grow up to be just like your father”. ---
**Author:** ![Thorium\_Indium\_Potassium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@Thorium\_Indium\_Potassium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thorium_Indium_Potassium)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/3 "2008-05-07T00:30:51Z")
Ouch, that is worse. You win. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/4 "2008-05-07T00:39:40Z")
“That wasn’t chicken.” ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/5 "2008-05-07T00:50:04Z")
[QUOTE=Can Handle the Truth] Yea, I’ve had worse. There was a day when my dad told me he never wanted to see me again. I was feeling pretty bad; I was holding back tears as I was eating dinner alone in a chinese restaurant. The fortune cookie said, “You will grow up to be just like your father”. [/QUOTE] Ouch. ☹ Could still have been worse though. That damn Harry Chapin song could have come on the radio too. ---
**Author:** ![HeadNinja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b4bc9f/32.png) [@HeadNinja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeadNinja)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/6 "2008-05-07T01:44:07Z")
I got: “It is good to subject yourself to the will of the collective” I’m not sure if it a quote from the little red book or the work of a bored poli sci student typing fortunes. I keep it in my wallet in case I begin to stray from the one true path. ---
**Author:** ![Spacegirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Spacegirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spacegirl)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/7 "2008-05-07T02:16:30Z")
Once I got a cookie with no fortune. What does that mean?? ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/8 "2008-05-07T02:43:54Z")
“Never smell the inside of a hat” Not bad, just meh. I keep it in my wallet ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/9 "2008-05-07T02:50:50Z")
All of these, OP included (but especially **Can Handle the Truth** ’s), work well with the “in bed” game. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/10 "2008-05-07T02:51:05Z")
[QUOTE=BluMoon] Once I got a cookie with no fortune. What does that mean?? [/QUOTE] It means that They can’t make up Their minds. Or possibly that your luck has run out. Either way, I’d be a bit concerned. ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/11 "2008-05-07T02:55:52Z")
My wife and I got an interesting one last spring. We were driving Route 66 and got [this with dinner.](http://bp3.blogger.com/_PctdHV98s8Y/RltXdAoyPHI/AAAAAAAAAIc/xGkldJbyJsU/s1600-h/Fortune+5-22.jpg) Which was interesting, since we were thinking the same thing about our trip. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/12 "2008-05-07T03:25:18Z")
There’s always [this fortune](http://www.blacksunn.net/11111001111/selflove.jpg). It’s true, too! Joe ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/13 "2008-05-07T03:31:11Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] “That wasn’t chicken.” [/QUOTE] But I thought I was eating beef! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/14 "2008-05-07T03:36:47Z")
Help! I’m trapped in a chinese fortune cookie factory! ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/15 "2008-05-07T04:05:05Z")
[QUOTE=BluMoon] Once I got a cookie with no fortune. What does that mean?? [/QUOTE] The other day, my fiancée got a fortune cookie with no fortune. She asked for another cookie, only to find that the second one also had no fortune! I told her that she shouldn’t bother playing the lottery any time soon 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pollux\_Oil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/858c86/32.png) [@Pollux\_Oil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pollux_Oil)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/16 "2008-05-07T05:29:21Z")
My friend once got a fortune that said “You will buy clothes.” Not really bad, but Ye Olde Fortune Maker must have been really bored that day. Also, one time my friend and I got the same fortune. I don’t remember what it was, but we pinned both of them up outside his dorm room. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/17 "2008-05-07T06:33:21Z")
[QUOTE=Can Handle the Truth] There was a day when my dad told me he never wanted to see me again. I was feeling pretty bad; I was holding back tears as I was eating dinner alone in a chinese restaurant. The fortune cookie said, “You will grow up to be just like your father”. [/QUOTE] With some reworking, you could post this over in the Morbid Jokes thread. Also, one of the stranger user name/post content combos joking aside, much heartfelt sincerity for you and your dad situation ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/18 "2008-05-07T06:39:44Z")
[QUOTE=Pollux Oil] My friend once got a fortune that said “You will buy clothes.” Not really bad, but Ye Olde Fortune Maker must have been really bored that day. [/QUOTE] I was just going to post this one! Gah! The best one that worked for the “in bed” one was _“With constant Grinding, even an Iron Rod can become a Needle”_ ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/19 "2008-05-07T06:47:31Z")
“You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial” Joe ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367/20 "2008-05-07T18:13:02Z")
“Yeah, it’s cancer.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-fortune-cookie-message-ever/448367.md?page=2)