# Worst Hollywood director **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 28, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402 "2005-12-28T03:48:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Robert\_Emmett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b487fb/32.png) [@Robert\_Emmett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert_Emmett)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/21 "2005-12-28T10:36:44Z")
You thought Starship Troopers was brilliant?! HEATHEN! Uwe Boll, hands down, is the worst director alive. Not sure if he qualifies as Hollywood, though. He’s one of the few people that I can think of that get rejected from that taudrey house of sin. Have any of you seen House of the Dead? I never particularly liked the game, but I felt that I had been violated by bad taste. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/22 "2005-12-28T10:37:19Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > Wow, just wow. I mean he’s not the second coming or anything but _Ocean’s Eleven_ alone gets him a free pass in this thread. Let’s not forget **Out Of Sight** , which is not only the best Elmore Leonard adaptation {against some fairly stiff recent competition}, but made me regard George Clooney as more than just Tom Selleck for the 90’s _and_ made Jennifer Lopez look good. And **The Limey** was fucking great. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/23 "2005-12-28T11:27:18Z")
Postscript: Roger Ebert gave a “thumbs up” to the re-edited version of _Brown Bunny_, surprising even himself. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/24 "2005-12-28T11:36:31Z")
> [@Coldfire](#): > > I’m struggling to find a mainstream director that has made no decent movie to speak of. Maybe you don’t get tot hat level if _all_ you make is crap. **cough** [Michael Bay](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000881/) **cough** ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/25 "2005-12-28T11:49:03Z")
While I agree that’s an impressive list of mostly shite films, I actually liked _The Rock_. A lot. So Bay’s off the hook as well, for me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/26 "2005-12-28T12:17:00Z")
Why the “cough”? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/27 "2005-12-28T13:03:10Z")
**Robert Aldrich** would take good ideas and great actors, and then, in movies like \*Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, _and_ Emperor of the North,\*fuck them up with his undiguised contempt for the audience (starting by having them scored by Frank “Theme from the Brady Bunch” De Vol). ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/28 "2005-12-28T14:06:00Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > Not only funny but partially accurate as a description of the altercation between Gallo and Ebert after the movie was released. From the imdb: > > In particular, Roger Ebert called the film “the worst in the history of Cannes” to which Vincent Gallo responded that Ebert was a “fat pig with the physique of a slave trader”. Ebert paraphrased a remark of Winston Churchill and responded that “although I am fat, one day I will be thin, but Mr. Gallo will still have been the director of ‘Brown Bunny’”. Gallo then put a “hex” on Ebert’s colon, to which Ebert responded that “even my colonoscopy was more entertaining than his film”. The sad thing is that Ebert later saw the recut _Brown Bunny_ and said, “This ain’t so bad!” Gack. BTW, I saw the blowjob scene online, and it is indeed heavy-duty. That slut really appears to be drinking him down to the last drop, almost gagging on the effluent. Get a room. Gack. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/29 "2005-12-28T14:47:38Z")
I gotta toss Renny Harlin into the mix. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/30 "2005-12-28T14:49:58Z")
> [@nameless](#): > > [Uwe Boll.](http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2649) What an asshole. I came in specifically to mention him and to link to that story. I couldn’t believe that they handed him Bloodrayne after the mess he made of Alone in the Dark. What a hack. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/31 "2005-12-28T15:57:49Z")
Verhoeven, Bay, and Schumacher, definitely. But you never know. Joe Johnston did some really bad hackwork, then came out with **October Sky**. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/32 "2005-12-28T16:40:31Z")
> [@middleman](#): > > I gotta toss Renny Harlin into the mix. I actually love The Long Kiss Goodnight, but that’s because I’m a Shane Black fanboy (he wrote it) and I think Geena Davis is smokin’ hot in it. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/33 "2005-12-28T17:08:19Z")
I’ve never really enjoyed anything Michael Bay has done. His films seem like something anyone can do. Everyone else mentioned here, in particular Verhoeven and Shumacher, are at least epic in their failures, rarely boring, and sometimes great. I prefer the bile that some of their films produce in me to the feeling of blah that Bay gives me. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/34 "2005-12-28T17:13:02Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > I’ve never really enjoyed anything Michael Bay has done. I have to admit, though, I thought that [The Island](http://imdb.com/title/tt0399201/) delivered as an action movie (if not as science fiction). ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/35 "2005-12-28T17:16:13Z")
Bay. For Pearl Harbor. The Song in TA:WP had it exactly right. How could anyone make a boring movie about Pearl Harbor? And yet Bay did. Kind of impressive, almost. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/36 "2005-12-28T17:35:49Z")
Michael Bay redeemed himself with The Island in my eyes. I liked it a lot. I can see why you feel that way about Hitchcock, **Hilarity** , but I disagree wholeheartedly. I don’t find his movies to be that engaging anymore, but he was one of the finest directors to ever head a film. He created a genre. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/37 "2005-12-28T17:45:44Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > The sad thing is that Ebert later saw the recut _Brown Bunny_ and said, “This ain’t so bad!” Why is it sad? I was impressed with Ebert’s willingness to reevaluate the edited version of a film he’d so thoroughly excoriated the first time. ([Review link](http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040903/REVIEWS/409020301/1023)) As for Gallo being the worst director: Well, I haven’t seen _Brown Bunny_ and probably won’t, but I enjoyed _Buffalo 66_. It wasn’t good enough to qualify him as a “great” director by any means, but it was definitely strong enough to get him out of the running for Worst. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/38 "2005-12-28T18:37:44Z")
I’ll second Bay and Verhoeven. And what the heck…I’ll throw in George Lucas, too. He can misdirect just about anyone. Portman has certainly done far better work in other films, and Christensen was quite good in **Shattered Glass**. ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/39 "2005-12-28T19:41:12Z")
God, Schumacher’s kind of tough for me. Yes, he’s directed a bunch of crap, already nicely encapsulated by others above (throw \Dying Young\ and \Phone Booth\ into there, as well. But he also did \The Lost Boys\ and \Tigerland\, and I feel I need to cut him a little slack for that. I was watching that INXS greatest hits video collection and up comes the video for “Devil Inside,” directed by Schumacher. And although I’ve seen it a million times, I was freshly befuddled by what exactly is happening. There’s the threat of a rumble on a boardwalk between leather-clad bikers and tanned blond surfers/skateboarders? And some woman in a leather dress cut all the way up to her hooha? And all the while INXS is playing on a merry-go-round? I still don’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/40 "2005-12-28T20:09:01Z")
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think we need to hate on Michael Bay. Sure his movies have been mostly junk, but that’s what he’s all about. He unashamedly treats movies as disposable, shallow, popcorn-popping fare. His movies make money, are a spectacle and acomplish exaclty what he intends. _Citizen Kane_ they are not, but e doesn’t try to pretend they are and has never been that director who gets all pissy like a typical artist. And hell, I enjoyed _The Rock_, _Armageddon_, and most of _Pearl Harbor_. I got exactly what I expected, which in and of itself is more than most directors can accomplish. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402.md?page=3)