# Worst Hollywood director **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 28, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402 "2005-12-28T03:48:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/121 "2005-12-31T03:45:42Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > No, it’s more your speed, apparently. Nice comeback. Let me guess: that one’s from _Pee Wee’s Big Adventure_. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/122 "2005-12-31T03:59:08Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Nice comeback. Let me guess: that one’s from _Pee Wee’s Big Adventure_. I would never quote from your autobiography. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/123 "2005-12-31T04:47:38Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > Far be it from me to speak for lissener, but as an outside observer I’ve seen time and time again where if he defends himself from snipes and outright hostility, he gets accused of being oversensitive or defensive or any number of things he actually isn’t being. If he let your insult pass by without comment I wouldn’t automatically assume it’s because it wasn’t offensive to him. Maybe he just didn’t want to rise to your bait. Whatever your stance toward him elsewhere and in the past, implying he should be killed (hyperbole or not) because he likes Verhoven is pretty beyond the pale. “Just kidding” doesn’t cut it as an excuse for me. I am simply baffled as to what you’re going on about. Someone made a reference to there being a “die-hard Verhoeven fan” on the boards, almost certainly refering to **lissener**. **lissener** himself said there were several such fans. Since **lissener** had been banned (at least partly because discussions about Verhoeven got out of control) and was later re-instated (which is extremely rare) I made a joke about him being the only “die-hard” fan on board because he got “killed” (as in banned) _and came back._ Y’know, like a villain from a teen slasher flick? Okay, so it’s not exactly James Thurber, but I seriously don’t understand why you’re so bent out of shape about it, especially since **lissener** himself doesn’t seem to care. I’m not advocating that anyone be killed; if I were, I’d hope you’d report the post to the mod, since that’s pretty explicitly against the rules. I only made the joke in the first place 'cause I thought he might get a kick out of it. It’s great that you’ve appointed yourself defender of **lissener** ’s honor, but can you at least admit that this time, maybe your zeal is a bit misplaced? And again, **lissener** , if I _did_ offend you, please say so, so that I can render a full apology. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/124 "2005-12-31T06:51:22Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I am simply baffled as to what you’re going on about. Someone made a reference to there being a “die-hard Verhoeven fan” on the boards, almost certainly refering to **lissener**. **lissener** himself said there were several such fans. Since **lissener** had been banned (at least partly because discussions about Verhoeven got out of control) and was later re-instated (which is extremely rare) I made a joke about him being the only “die-hard” fan on board because he got “killed” (as in banned) _and came back._ You said, in reaction to lissener simply saying that there were several Verhoven fans/supporters on the board… > [@](#): > > Yes, but most of the others are easy to kill. You, on the other hand, keep coming back like the villain from an '80s teen slasher flick. So ok, now I get that you were referring to his being banned, but it’s still a poor joke. lissener should never have been banned in the first place. Besides that, however you meant it, it sounds like all Verhoven supporters have been silenced except him, whom you equate with cheezy movies and mindless killers. Look, I realize it was a joke, but I am so sick of the lissener-bashing/baiting. Seems like he can’t win. If he keeps quiet, it’s as if he’s saying snipes are ok. If he responds, it always seems to start a shitstorm of misunderstanding. I’ve never said anything in the past (I’m hardly someone lissener would want defending him) but I couldn’t keep quiet this time. It almost seemed like this whole thread was designed to lure lissener into a flame war (I don’t mean that that’s a reality, it just almost seemed that way). And besides, as my husband says “‘Just kidding’ is the last refuge of a scoundrel” meaning that anyone can say anything nasty or hurtful or derogatory and then weasel out of it with a “I was only kidding/I was just joshing/you take things too seriously” which puts the pressure on the person who objects. Not saying you’re a scoundrel or anything (I often think you’re pretty cool), but it still set off my alarm buzzer. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/125 "2005-12-31T07:45:24Z")
Jesus, you’re just not going to let this go, are you? You were wrong, okay? You entirely misread my post, and you attacked me because you saw things that plainly _were not there,_ and if you’re not going to suck it up and apologize for jumping my shit for no good reason, go start up a pit thread, because I’m sick to death of trying to respond to you without breaking the rules of the forum. ---
**Author:** ![MrJackboots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MrJackboots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrJackboots)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/126 "2005-12-31T08:15:42Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > made the failure of his hug comic strike-out, \*\*Mars Attacks!, \*\* all the more infuriating. But even the best directors have had their disappointing efforts. Wait, what? _ **Mars Attacks!** _ was great specifically because it was so horrible, or at least I thought so. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/127 "2005-12-31T08:53:15Z")
> [@even sven](#): > > Traffic was a racist, simplistic, faux-intellectual, pseudo-comlex movie that relies on cheap camera tricks (ohhhh…I used indoor balanced film outside whenever I shot something in “Mexico”, I’m an artiste now!) to make it’s crappy platitudic (ohhh…drugs are complicated and bad!) faux-point to make upper class white people feel ‘informed’ and ‘objective’ about a ‘tragic’ subject that they and this movie know jack-shit about. It has as much resemblence to the actual drug trade as a nice winter haiku does to string theory. THANK YOU. I had the same interpretation of this movie when it came out. It is fluff, just fluff dressed up in “edgy” packaging. No mention of Sofia Coppola? Lost in Translation was just one boring, lingering shot of poor, sad, disaffected rich people trying to find “meaning” by fetishizing the culture of another land. The most pathetic movie ever. Also a big YES to Gus Van Sant, whose movies are also very boring. Psycho was his best film just because he stuck to Hitchcock’s movie scene-for-scene (what really killed that movie, other than the fact that it’s a remake and they suck by definition, was the acting). ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/128 "2005-12-31T09:23:28Z")
> [@davenportavenger](#): > > No mention of Sofia Coppola? I’m probably as guilty of this as anybody, but this is drifting from really bad directors to ‘people who directed movies I hate.’ If you found _Lost in Translation_ boring, great, but comparing Sophia Copolla to Roland Emmerich, Michael Bay and Joel Schumacher? Come on. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/129 "2005-12-31T09:23:44Z")
**Equipose** , check you e-mail, please. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/130 "2005-12-31T15:32:14Z")
Man, this is tough. Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich? Roland Emmerich or Michael Bay? Lessee, I actually liked “Stargate”, but I’ve hated every single thing of Bay’s I’ve ever seen, especially “The Rock”. So it’s Bay by a nose. Now, I too thought “Traffic” inept and pretentious, and I don’t seem to be as charmed by “Out of Sight” as most folks around here, but there is no way I could list Steven Soderburgh as worst Hollywood director. I thought “Kafka”, “The Underneath”, and “The Limey” were all fairly brilliant, and “Ocean’s Eleven” was at least good fun. Now for this one: > [@even sven](#): > > My controversial nomination is Robert Altman. McCabe and Mrs. Miller was at least interesting. The rest of his movies are ugly, plotless, bad sounding, pointless muddles that discredit the “auture” theory. Yeah, theres something going on there. But whatever it is that is there just isn’t worth sitting through three hours of characters you don’t care about walking around and mumbling. Firstly, yeah, he’s made his share of crap, but except maybe for “Nashville”, I don’t know of any three-hour Altman movies. Secondly, I’ll fight a cage match to the death to defend the greatness of “The Long Goodbye”, “California Split”, “McCabe and Mrs. Miller” and “M_A_S\*H”. Of course, I’m probably the only person in history who liked his “Popeye”, so there ya go. ---
**Author:** ![cactus\_waltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@cactus\_waltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cactus_waltz)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/131 "2005-12-31T15:42:58Z")
I’m not sure what to think of [John Singleton](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005436/). _Boyz n the Hood_ is a minor classic in its genre and _Poetic Justice_ was mediocre, but probably only because of Tupac’s presence. Though, he’s responsible for the latest incarnation of _Shaft_ as well _2 Fast 2 Furious_ , both annoyingly bad. I tried watching Shaft twice but stopped the movie ten minutes in. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/132 "2005-12-31T17:12:34Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > **Equipose** , check you e-mail, please. First, sorry to everyone for the mini-hijack. Miller and I have made peace via e-mail. I stand behind what I wrote, but I don’t want to argue anymore. Miller, thank you for writing me. I like you. I won’t mention this again. Truce. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/133 "2005-12-31T19:53:02Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I’m probably as guilty of this as anybody, but this is drifting from really bad directors to ‘people who directed movies I hate.’ If you found _Lost in Translation_ boring, great, but comparing Sophia Copolla to Roland Emmerich, Michael Bay and Joel Schumacher? Come on. I was way more entertained by The Island than by LiT. For all the faults of that movie, it was at least suspenseful and attention-getting, which was not true for LiT IMO. The juvenile clones were way more interesting, and sympathetic, than the whiny celebrities of LiT. Sure, talk about art all you want to, but the ultimate goal of any piece of art is to entertain, and I think Bay entertains a lot more thoroughly than Coppola. (Even Verhoeven does that.) I’m no great fan of action films or of Michael Bay (I only saw The Island because of its SFnal premise), but at least they and he deliver exactly what they promise. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2006, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/134 "2006-01-04T23:43:42Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > David Lynch. His close-ups on inanimate objects, the voiceovers, the “weird for the sake of being weird” shots and touches… just dreck. _The Elephant Man_ is about the only movie of his I’ve ever been able to sit through without fidgeting mercilessly, and then it was only because of the brilliant performances. I agree about Lynch, and about _The Elephant Man_ . However, I would add his _Straight Story_ to the short list of good Lynch films. It is a beautiful, simple, yet surprising account of the essential goodness of folks… and in this case, I think the directing _did_ have a lot to do with its power. ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/135 "2006-01-05T01:24:59Z")
Altman = M_A_S\*H, Popeye, and The Player = any one disqualifies him from this list. Burton = Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, Ed Wood, and Edward Scissorhands = pick one, he’s disqualified David Lynch = Wild at Heart, Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet = claiming he is the “worst” or even the most overrated is, at best, disingenuous I’ll throw in my “me too” for hating Traffic, but Out of Sight was good and Ocean’s Eleven was fine, so Soderbergh is out of the running. Let’s face facts: Uwe Boll is the worst director who has ever made a film, period. House of the Dead alone makes all others pale in comparison. Alone in the Dark? The man has FIVE video game to film adaptations in the pipe at the moment. We are blessed to live in an age when such an utter asswipe is alive and working to make all other films look better in comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/136 "2006-01-05T01:58:05Z")
> [@Scupper](#): > > Uwe Boll is the worst director who has ever made a film, period. House of the Dead alone makes all others pale in comparison. Alone in the Dark? > > The man has FIVE video game to film adaptations in the pipe at the moment. One of them from a screenplay written by a Doper. Who is very sad, because he (the Doper) thinks it’s actually a pretty decent script (actually based more on the pencil-and-paper RPG rather than the video game, but don’t tell Boll that), and because of his very low expectations for the film because of all the reasons already mentioned here. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/137 "2006-01-05T16:15:20Z")
> [@Anamorphic](#): > > One of them from a screenplay written by a Doper. Who is very sad, because he (the Doper) thinks it’s actually a pretty decent script (actually based more on the pencil-and-paper RPG rather than the video game, but don’t tell Boll that), and because of his very low expectations for the film because of all the reasons already mentioned here. Sigh. Oh, man. I feel for that Doper. It’s for Hunter: The Reckoning, I would guess, as that’s the only one on Uwe’s hit list that I know comes from a P&P RPG. Personally, I’d jump at the chance to have a script I wrote produced, regardless of who the director is or how much I can expect them to trash it. Might regret it later, but still. Really, if you’re writing video game or RPG adaptation screenplay and your source material isn’t Halo- or Doom- level, prestige-wise, you’re pretty much stuck with Uwe Boll or Paul W.S. Anderson. I’d take Anderson over Boll any day of the week, but the amount of choice a screenwriter has is pretty close to none at all. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402/138 "2006-01-05T18:33:32Z")
For big names, it’s a toss-up between Bay and Lucas. Really, Bay is the worst; Lucas suffers because he actually once did something worthwhile, and one keeps hoping he’ll do it again. Bay, well, you don’t expect much, so you’re not disappointed. For smaller films, I’d say Wes Anderson. I just can’t stand any of that unfocused, meandering, depressing crap he puts out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-hollywood-director/337402.md?page=6)