# Worst Invention Ever... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295 "2006-03-21T15:42:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/21 "2006-03-22T00:13:12Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > In **In the Name of Science** , Martin Gardner recalls two famouly bad patents. One of these is a “Pedagogical Device” consisting of “two intertwined helices” that serve the purpose of “demonstrating the existence of God”. I have to look this one up again, now that you have easy internet access to the patent files. I’d love to know how two springs prove the existence of God. This demonstration may not seem very impressive to us, but in the Slinky Continuum, it’s totally convincing. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/22 "2006-03-22T00:44:56Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Am I really the only one who remembers [Alex Chiu](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=39023&highlight=alex+chiu)? I have always had a preverse desire to buy these. I dunno why, it just amuses me. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/23 "2006-03-22T02:54:13Z")
> [@PBear42](#): > > Off the top of my head, the [hot dog toaster](http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/hot-diggity-dogger-026766.php). Along the same lines, the [egg poacher/toaster](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000B18P96/002-0351615-7727219?v=glance&n=284507) so you can make an Egg McMuffin sandwich at home. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/24 "2006-03-22T06:47:06Z")
Nothing can be as bad as Chia Pets. Except maybe the vibrating cat litter scooper. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/25 "2006-03-22T07:16:41Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > The Big Wheel tricycle has driven many parents to distraction. Now you take that back, **AskNott.** [http://www.bigwheelrally.com/invite/index.htm](http://www.bigwheelrally.com/invite/index.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/26 "2006-03-22T07:33:01Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > My nominee is the hard-boiled egg peeler. “Mind the overspray!” /Bridget Jones’s Diary Darn it, that was _my_ nominee. Chill them in ice water for a couple of minutes to make the egg shrink and pull away from the inside of the shell. Roll the egg around to totally fragment the shell. Then either use an overpriced machine to blow the eggshell off and then take the time to clean it, or, you know just peel it off, because it comes off in a snap at that point, anyway. Actually, I have a better one, now that I think of it – also (surprise!) only available through “TV offers.” The hinged paint-brush for edge-painting around corners. Even _in the commercial_, the only apparent difference from a cheaper, ordinary paintbrush is that it flops around like a freshly-landed trout, slapping paint around indiscriminately and making a bloody mess. Who buys these? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/27 "2006-03-22T13:29:14Z")
In the field of cosmological quackery, I present the [Rectilineator](http://www.s-line.de/homepages/keppler/e95-100.htm) . It was designed to prove[That the Earth Is Hollow](http://seekers.100megs6.com/hollow_earth.htm). ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/28 "2006-03-22T15:15:36Z")
Speaking of hard-boiled eggs . . . I have a gadget that I bought sometime in the '70s: it’s a little plastic press that transforms hard-boiled eggs from egg-shaped to cubical. I guess you can store them more efficiently that way. ---
**Author:** ![TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoneyKingofNowhere)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/29 "2006-03-22T15:37:06Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Well, this isn’t necessarily the worst invention ever, but the infomercial bugs the hell out of me. > > **Magic Bullet:** One can apparently make everything from omelettes, to fruit drinks, to salsa, to chicken salad in mere seconds! Imagine the possibilities and the time saved! > > Well, sure, as long as you have all the ingredients for everything already washed, peeled, cooked, pre-cut and sitting in nice little bowls on your counter. Otherwise it’s still going to take you just as long to haul out the cherry tomatoes and wash them, then peel garlic, and wash and chop cilantro, then peel and quarter an onion, then,… well you get my point. > > I’m willing to bet a lot of other dumb consumers never gave that a thought as they watched chicken salad being prepared in just “one, two, three, seconds!” Hey now… I use the Magic Bullet with dedicated regularity! Also, in my opinion, they could replicate the product and simply rename it “Experimental Smoothie Hangover Reducer” and it might still sell. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/30 "2006-03-22T15:40:04Z")
[COLOR=Black] > [@LionelHutz405](#): > > [A cereal dispenser, like this one](http://www.comforthouse.com/comfort/cuisfoodproc7.html) > > I was just out at the mall and saw one of these. On sale for $19.99, down from 50 bucks. I can’t imagine why anyone didn’t want to pay $50 for this thing. :rolleyes: I’ve seen those in Hotels, I can’t imagine being Anal Enough to want one for the home. > [@control-z](#): > > Back in probably the mid 70’s my grandparents once bought a thin plastic screen/lens type device that you put over a TV screen. It was supposed to turn a black & white TV into color one. Let’s just say it didn’t work too well. I seem to remember a blurry mismash of colors. I remember those, they even showed Howard Cunningham buying one on Happy Days. > [@gigi](#): > > I wouldn’t pay $50, but I have been tempted to get a few of these. Sometimes I just get obsessed with getting rid of all packaging in the kitchen, and sometimes I feel too lazy to open and close the box of cereal (yes really) and I think they would be fun…snip… Sorry **gigi** , just saw your post, I still think it would be very anal. You can get Rubber maid dispenser for less than $19.99, maybe you should look for them. (They don’t look like a petting zoo feed dispenser however) > [@panache45](#): > > Nothing can be as bad as Chia Pets. > > Except maybe the vibrating cat litter scooper. If you get a Chia, go ahead and grow it. Cats will eat the Chia herb to help their diet. If you don’t have cats, it is truly useless and should only be a gag gift. My nominee: There was a device in the 70’s being hawked for a short time to open the bottom of a ketchup bottle so we could end the Problem of the ages. **Wasted Ketchup** That’s all I remember about it except that even as a 10 year old I thought it was an incredible stupid concept. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/31 "2006-03-22T15:44:45Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Speaking of hard-boiled eggs . . . > > I have a gadget that I bought sometime in the '70s: it’s a little plastic press that transforms hard-boiled eggs from egg-shaped to cubical. I guess you can store them more efficiently that way. Imagine opening somebody’s fridge and finding a wall of egg! A _quivery_ one! ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/32 "2006-03-22T15:49:46Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > The Big Wheel tricycle has driven many parents to distraction. It’s a low-slung, blow-molded polyethylene trike, which would be a great idea if the whole thing weren’t a big hollow drum. It makes a terrible racket when a kid rides it around. From a typical seven year old: “And it’s like a big hollow drum that makes this cool racket when you ride it around!” ---
**Author:** ![Driver8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Driver8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Driver8)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/33 "2006-03-22T15:59:51Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > Even worse than the _Jump to Conclusions Mat_, it’s [The Beeping Wallet](http://www.beepingwallet.com/). The “Beeping Wallet”, hey? Sounds similar to what you’d be exclaiming after sitting with the thing for five minutes while your restaurant server is off with your card … ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/34 "2006-03-22T16:00:30Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Found [_the God-proving spring machine- **BoD** _]! It’s Socrates Scholfield’s Feb. 1914 patent, #1,087,186. You can search for it and view it on the US Patent Office Database. …the URL of which is apparently a matter of some national secrecy. [patent.gov](http://patent.gov) doesn’t work, [patents.gov](http://patents.gov) doesn’t work, [uspatent.gov](http://uspatent.gov) doesn’t work, [uspo.gov](http://uspo.gov) doesn’t work. I guess it’s important to keep curious rubberneckers away from details of our precious Letters Patent. Just in case I ever do make it over there, is there an easy way to find out how many U.S. Patents mention God? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/35 "2006-03-22T16:11:01Z")
It’s the U.S. Patent and _Trademark_ Office! That’ll learn 'em. [http://www.uspto.gov/main/patents.htm](http://www.uspto.gov/main/patents.htm) is the patents page. As is proper gummint web design, there is a pritty red-white-and-blue banner overlying approximately 40,926 closely written links. One of these should take me to the patent database, or _a_ patent database, or something to do with the patent database. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/36 "2006-03-22T16:15:59Z")
I remember some kind of device designed to cut the tops off of old bottles to turn them into folk-art drinking glasses. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/37 "2006-03-22T16:17:15Z")
> [@](#): > > …the URL of which is apparently a matter of some national secrecy. [patent.gov](http://patent.gov) doesn’t work, [patents.gov](http://patents.gov) doesn’t work, [uspatent.gov](http://uspatent.gov) doesn’t work, [uspo.gov](http://uspo.gov) doesn’t work. I guess it’s important to keep curious rubberneckers away from details of our precious Letters Patent. > > Just in case I ever do make it over there, is there an easy way to find out how many U.S. Patents mention God? Here’s the URL for Scholfield’s “Pedagogical Device”.: [http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=/netahtml/search-bool.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&co1=AND&d=pall&s1=1087186.WKU.&OS=PN/1087186&RS=PN/1087186](http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=/netahtml/search-bool.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&co1=AND&d=pall&s1=1087186.WKU.&OS=PN/1087186&RS=PN/1087186) “When teaching natural theology in schools, which is that part of theological science that treats of those evidences of the existence and attributes of the Supreme Being, that are found in natural science, it is desirable to illustrate certain of these evidences by means of schematic mechanical devices.” You’ll have to download their software to get the images, since it’s pre-1976, But it’s worth it. The Quick Search page is: [http://www.uspto.gov/patft/](http://www.uspto.gov/patft/) The Main Page is: [http://www.uspto.gov/](http://www.uspto.gov/) If you want to find post-1976 patents that mention “God”, use the Boolean search feature. But you’ll have to wade through a lot of **God** freys and the like. You might have better luck with “Supreme Being” ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/38 "2006-03-22T16:37:03Z")
I seem to recall a device to hook to a telephone to make a light blink when it rang. This to let deaf people know when there was a call. My girlfriend of the time said “That’s a great idea!”. I said “So what happens then? They pick up the phone and…what? They can’t hear the other person.” Her:" Ummm, oh yeah" I never understood that one. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/39 "2006-03-22T16:48:29Z")
> [@Nic2004](#): > > I seem to recall a device to hook to a telephone to make a light blink when it rang. This to let deaf people know when there was a call. My girlfriend of the time said “That’s a great idea!”. I said “So what happens then? They pick up the phone and…what? They can’t hear the other person.” > Her:" Ummm, oh yeah" > I never understood that one. I’ve seen these in action, it is not for a standard Telephone but a Telex? machine. The call comes through in writing. Jim ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295/40 "2006-03-22T16:49:55Z")
> [@Nic2004](#): > > I seem to recall a device to hook to a telephone to make a light blink when it rang. This to let deaf people know when there was a call. My girlfriend of the time said “That’s a great idea!”. I said “So what happens then? They pick up the phone and…what? They can’t hear the other person.” > Her:" Ummm, oh yeah" > I never understood that one. Every heard of TTY? The point is, the device silently informs you the phone is ringing. I even thought of getting one so I didn’t have to hear the phone ringing constantly, but could still tell when someone was calling. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-invention-ever/349295.md?page=3)