# Worst Job Application EVER **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811 "2003-06-23T17:14:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Engel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/53a042/32.png) [@Engel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engel)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/21 "2003-06-23T21:37:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*I’ve seen this nonsense about being able to use Word, Excel, and MS Windows on resumes and applications often. > > My response is always the same: "Great, so you have the computer skills of the average 5th grader. Convince me you can do _this job_. \*\* Speaking as an admin who is currently searching for a new job, I’ve always been told that it’s important to put a list of your computer skills on your resume, and if possible to put it right at the top. When you’re looking for an administrative/secretarial position, they want to know what programs you’re familiar with. One interviewer said she was impressed that I had thought to put that info where it couldn’t be missed, since being computer savy is a big part of being an admin. And on preview, I’d add that I also have listed that I’m familiar with the internet, various search engines, and email. You’d be surprised how many people have no idea how to find anything on the internet or operate basic email programs. I have several people I support who tend to need a lot of hand-holding whenever they try to do an internet search. Granted, the rather unimpressive internet/email skills are listed WAY down on the list - after Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Access. 😃 Engel ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/22 "2003-06-23T21:41:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*I’m bit limited by by my experience. I don’t run into people without computer skill often. When I see “I can use the internet and send email” I read it as “I have no skills, but would be happy to browse porn and chat with friends on your time.” \*\* Well, I’m the kind of freak who reads O’Reilly books for fun, but I tend to run in a tech- and mathphobic crowd, so even being able to troubleshoot a really simple problem (Hey Fred, you need to go to Tools\>Options\>Edit and uncheck Overtype mode) makes me a tech god among the computer illiterati, even though by any reasonable IT standard I’m grossly ignorant. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/23 "2003-06-23T21:45:07Z")
What possible purpose is there in saying in your resume that you know how to use email, when you are sending the resume by email? ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/24 "2003-06-23T23:27:21Z")
_Sigh_ Another visionary struck down by conventional mores. No doubt this person would have helped your company branch out into the exciting and lucrative banking industry, thereby positioning you for exponential growth. There’s little question that we’ll see a pouty post in the Pit when your closest competitor eats your lunch. ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/25 "2003-06-24T00:05:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ENugent \* > \*\*What possible purpose is there in saying in your resume that you know how to use email, when you are sending the resume by email? \*\* Easy. I’ve applied for MANY MANY jobs in my lifetime and I can tell you that in most cases, The One What Receives Those Job Applications is NOT The One What Reads Them And Does The Hiring. Plus, a lot of companies will just accept job applications, and keep them on file. When they need a position filled, they **may** go through that pile-o-resumes until they see one they like. In that case, they’re probably not going to remember “oh yeah, this is one of the 248 we received last month via email.” As opposed to the 573 they received via walk-in. Or you were making a funny and I was wooshed. Either way. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/26 "2003-06-24T00:34:14Z")
I would imagine that instead of saying “I know how to use email” which, for all we know could mean they have a hotmail account, they should instead say something like: I am proficient in the use of many email programs, including Eudora Pro and MS Outlook/Outlook Express. I have regularly adjusted the preferences and mail server settings, and have a basic grounding in the mechanics of how emailing works within the internet. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/27 "2003-06-24T00:41:27Z")
I interviewed an (American) contractor recently that listed this under “Relevant Skills” on his resume: Graphics Formats JPEG, GIF, TIFF, BMP, PNG, PICT, MPEG. I couldn’t decide if it was more disturbing that he listed different graphic formats as “skills,” that he didn’t list more of them (he listed PhotoShop proficiency but not PSD - ?), or that he thought MPEG was a graphic format. I got it out of him that these were formats that he’d saved from a browser before or inserted as pictures into different Apps. I’m surprised he didn’t list “Right mouse button” and "Save dialog navigation. Did I mention this was for a developer contract position at Microsoft? :smack: I shouldn’t poke so much fun, though. Right out of college, the first batch of 50 resumes I ever sent out included 50 cover letters addressed to the wrong person. I forgot to change the addressee after saving and printing out the first one. Oops. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/28 "2003-06-24T07:09:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > \*\*um, before y’all go really nutso, please review **istar’s** location, then compare it to the studies the person claims (“General English”, misspelling it), and I think you will agree that my assesment is correct. this person is learning English vs. native speaking. > > However, I will also grant that for an application purpose, they really should have checked spelling etc. > > However, let me point out that **my** examples were both done by people for whom English was as close to a native language as they got. \*\* I get a few like that, gernally (:D) they’re from people for whom english is a second language. I don’t hold it against them and have even interviewed a few. One of the candidates like this was in the running to get the job, but took another position, he had great qualities, and during the phone interview proved to be a really smart person that had the stuff he needed to work in our industry down pat (and he came complete with a cool accent:)). You might be surprised, if their resume has all the proper “bells and whistles” you might want to at least give them a phone interview. ---
**Author:** ![Testy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@Testy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Testy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/29 "2003-06-24T09:48:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by istara \* > **\ > To be honest, I am starting to wonder if my email is on some bulk job-seeking spam list, the amount of wackos I get. I’m not even the appropriate person to contact in the company. > \** Istara. I believe there is a list of some kind. I get around a dozen each week and I’d be glad to forward some if you’d like _S_ Most of mine seem to come from India instead of being locally generated. Regards. Testy. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/30 "2003-06-24T13:23:33Z")
**Testy** - mystery solved! We get loads from India too. Though I am seriously considering contacting that College of Higher Technology to complain about the letter, and point out how dreadfully it reflects on them as an educational institution. Then I will offer to come and give a free lecture on the basic skills and best practice of approaching private sector employers. Then, if that goes well, I shall charge them a FUCKLOAD for future training sessions. I smell a whole new business… ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/31 "2003-06-24T13:43:11Z")
Hoo-boy, that reminds me. I’ll have to dig out an app I got a few years ago. Aside from the usual resume, the applicant had included an entire profile of his personality as defined by his blood type, and some mystical jazz about how he was preordained to be the one true thinker of our time, yada yada. I think there was something about Zuul in there somewhere too. Then there was the kid who listed that he was a certified massage therapist (btw: in no way relevant to the position he was applying for) and he’d be happy to give a ::cough:: demonstration at the interview. Took everything I had not to call that kid back :😁: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/32 "2003-06-24T14:04:27Z")
**XJetGirlX** You should track this guy down and see where he is at now in life ( a van down by the river, prolly.) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Andy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aeb1de/32.png) [@Andy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/33 "2003-06-24T14:07:28Z")
I guy I used to work for received lots of (speculative) applications for Post Doctoral positions. The winner in the piss poor applicatio stakes was not the application from a guy with _no training in chemistry whatsoever_, but the guy whose CV had a _brown ring from a coffee cup_ on the front page. I was stunned…incredulous…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/34 "2003-06-24T14:21:31Z")
I was talking with a friend a week or two ago about their job hunt. They ran into a common problem that the letter in the OP shows: The cover letter is a summary of the resume, and therefore is of negligible use, IMnshO, because the letter is probably just like several HUNDRED others that the company has on file. It does nothing to inspire me to read the resume, let alone consider the person for a job. On top of which, as the OP noted, the sender strongly indicated that they had not researched the OP’s company. This is a Big Mistake. In fact, since the resume came in over email, I’d consider it as potential spam. IANA manager nor do I have any role in hiring people… but if I got an email like that, I’d trash it in a moment. And one more thing, sir. Spellcheck, people, spellcheck! If you’re going to emphasize your word processing skills, show that you at least know how to use the spell checker. This goes double if you’re writing in a second language! In short, I read [THICK DIMWIT]'s letter as saying: “I have the same basic computer skills as a typical modern high school graduate, plus a trade school certificate, yet I don’t have the business sense to proofread my correspondence nor to research anything about a company I’m applying to (not even its name).” Polly wants an answer? I wouldn’t consider this a sincere job application. Polly’s answer is the trash can. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/35 "2003-06-24T14:22:35Z")
I confess that I once applied for an administrative position and noticed only after I’d sent in my resume the big fat typo in the middle of it. Oh, well. Sometimes a single proofread isn’t enough. I didn’t really want the job anyway. Best application I ever saw was for the executive director of our medium-sized (1.2 million annual budget) nonprofit organization. Most resumes were sensible, except for the one sent in by the guy whose highest previous experience was running an Orange Julius at the local mall. His cover-letter, however, assured us that he was an “energy-packed dynamo” who would revolutionize our operation. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/36 "2003-06-24T14:34:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GuanoLad \* > **I am proficient in the use of many email programs, including Eudora Pro and MS Outlook/Outlook Express. I have regularly adjusted the preferences and mail server settings, and have a basic grounding in the mechanics of how emailing works within the internet.** Or, the one I’d want to hire: I hack sendmail.conf by hand and have implemented a fully-compliant webserver on a Commodore-64 that later stood up to some loser’s mailbombing run. I can probably guess the password of every executive in your organization, and am willing to send them nastygrams until they finally wise up. But hey, I’m not an executive. That’s just my idea of `skilled.’ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/37 "2003-06-24T14:36:14Z")
Damn. Read mailserver for webserver. Damn damn. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/38 "2003-06-24T14:52:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by istara \* > \*\*Given this person knows MS Office they should be able to run a spell-check and grammar check. > > And given this person claims to be so IT savvy, they should at least have bothered to visit our website and figure out it’s not a bank. \*\* Yes, you’d think so, but there’s another possibility that simply **must** be considered. Perhaps this individual has **lied** on his/her résumé. I know, I know … it’s _highly_ improbable, but it must be considered! ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/39 "2003-06-24T14:56:12Z")
I’ve done more than my share of hiring when I worked for a small, non-profit, research library. And we got some pretty interesting applications. There was one guy who applied for any and every position that became available. He never sent a cover letter and his resume looked like it had been run off on a mimeograph machine. Surprisingly, no one ever called him to interview. The most memorable interview I did was with a girl who was working at a local public library but looking to add a part-time job with us. She didn’t know the difference between fiction and non-fiction “fiction is the made up stuff, right?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Testy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@Testy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Testy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811/40 "2003-06-24T16:07:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by istara \* > \*\ ***Testy** - mystery solved! We get loads from India too. > > Though I am seriously considering contacting that College of Higher Technology to complain about the letter, and point out how dreadfully it reflects on them as an educational institution. > > Then I will offer to come and give a free lecture on the basic skills and best practice of approaching private sector employers. > > Then, if that goes well, I shall charge them a FUCKLOAD for future training sessions. I smell a whole new business… \*\* I’ll send you my resume. I’ll put in the **real** dirt on the Saudi group-sex organizations! _S_ I get mine because we ran an ad in the Bombay and Bangalore newspapers for some specialized programmers a few years ago. I actually put my email address in the advertisement. I banged my head on the keyboard for a while after that, “Stupid boy. Stupid!” That was six years ago and I’m **still** getting these things. Testy [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-job-application-ever/183811.md?page=1)