# Worst last names you've heard, BUT- the name ACTUALLY MEANS what it says **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 3, 2005, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542 "2005-10-03T07:39:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/1 "2005-10-03T07:39:50Z")
Heres what I mean- we could sit here and name people whose last names were funny b/c they have a double meaning (C_ck, Sh_te, etc.), or sound like something else (Focker)- but I only want to hear of last names you know of that are really bad b/c the original ancestor was obviously naming after that certain thing (Love, for instance- you could argue that’s not a bad name- and no, it’s not my name, I’m not sharing my info by mistake- but some people might not like the attention; also, Lust, although the ancestor may not have intended anything by the name). Can anyone name any more? It’s a tough question… ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/2 "2005-10-03T07:43:02Z")
And before you school me- I know that a lot of last names actually mean what they say, b/c medieval europeans named themselves or were named after animals they were similar to (Fox, Byrd), places they lived (Mill, Hills), or occupation (Carpenter, Bowman). But with unusual things like _ideas/feelings_ (Love, Lust), it’s different then these- who knows what the ancestors meant? ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/3 "2005-10-03T08:33:26Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > And before you school me- I know that a lot of last names actually mean what they say, b/c medieval europeans named themselves or were named after animals they were similar to (Fox, Byrd), places they lived (Mill, Hills), or occupation (Carpenter, Bowman). But with unusual things like _ideas/feelings_ (Love, Lust), it’s different then these- who knows what the ancestors meant? Well to school you on one thing: Lust or Lustig probably is a German name, and in German it’s mostly nonsexual - desire/inclination or “funny” for Lustig. (think Wanderlust). Also, I don’t know if this is true at all - but I was told that at one time Jewish families in Europe? France? Germany? Were required to all choose surnames. Those who didn’t were given names by the local officials that were occasionally demeaning (anti-semitic). If that’s true I suppose it’s possible that a name like “Lust” or “Lustig” could be one of those names. Caveat Lector - this is complete speculation and I don’t know if that history is true or not. But in any event since German and English are very close it’s likely that what you think is an amusing English word may be a German word that means something different. Also even English words didn’t necessarily mean the same thing hundreds of years ago - so it can get very tricky guessing what the original meaning of even an apparently obvious English word originally was when first used as a name. For one thing you’d have to know what century it came from. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/4 "2005-10-03T14:14:34Z")
This is not what you wanted, but is interesting. I new some really horrid, mean people whose last name was “Crich” pronounced “Creich”. It just sounded so much like “grouch” and had a hard sound, it described tem perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/5 "2005-10-03T15:21:44Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > Heres what I mean- we could sit here and name people whose last names were funny b/c they have a double meaning (C_ck, Sh_te, etc.), or sound like something else (Focker)- > > but I only want to hear of last names you know of that are really bad b/c the original ancestor was obviously naming after that certain thing (Love, for instance- you could argue that’s not a bad name- and no, it’s not my name, I’m not sharing my info by mistake- but some people might not like the attention; also, Lust, although the ancestor may not have intended anything by the name). > > Can anyone name any more? It’s a tough question… This is one. Or it’s not. I have no idea, really, because it’s a Filipino name. But a company I worked for had a software division in the Philippines, and we handled the phone directory for the entire firm. I noticed one day that some bigwig out in the Philippines office had the last name **Pagan-Colon**. I know it’s probably pronounced differently, but, wow. Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/6 "2005-10-03T15:42:57Z")
Did I ever tell you guys about my uncle Pete Gloryholeman? ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/7 "2005-10-03T16:29:20Z")
When I was a telefundraiser, I once talked to a woman named Emily Adorable. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/8 "2005-10-03T16:37:59Z")
I know someone with the last name of Blood. I assume that means what it says. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/9 "2005-10-03T21:55:15Z")
I once met a woman who married in haste to escape her family name, Hollowpeter. It was Dutch, she said; there were Hillpeters and Hollowpeters. By the way, there’s a Dutch town called Bilt (remember Vanderbilt?) and it would have been interesting if Peterbilt trucks came from a family of Peters from Bilt. Alas, it’s not true. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/10 "2005-10-03T23:15:07Z")
Spanish explorer Alvaro Nunez [Cabeza de Vaca’s](http://www.tsha.utexas.edu/handbook/online/articles/CC/fca6.html) last name means “cow’s head,” which is pretty funny to me, though it was meant as an honorific. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/11 "2005-10-04T01:56:46Z")
I don’t think we should invite the Dickinson’s over any more. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/12 "2005-10-04T02:07:00Z")
Coward. Man, I’d hate to have that for a surname. ---
**Author:** ![Exploding\_Kitchen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c89c15/32.png) [@Exploding\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exploding_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/13 "2005-10-04T02:12:04Z")
One of my best friends in high school had the surname Fillerup. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/14 "2005-10-04T02:27:50Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > I know someone with the last name of Blood. I assume that means what it says. Don’t be so sure. The surname Death doesn’t mean that (and isn’t pronounced that way either). It’s still a cool surname, though. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/15 "2005-10-04T03:12:22Z")
> [@bluethree](#): > > Spanish explorer Alvaro Nunez [Cabeza de Vaca’s](http://www.tsha.utexas.edu/handbook/online/articles/CC/fca6.html) last name means “cow’s head,” which is pretty funny to me, though it was meant as an honorific. Well, if Spanish is accepted… I know somebody with the surname **Bastardo** , meaning, yes, you guessed it, “bastard”. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/16 "2005-10-04T05:51:27Z")
[Ashley Awkward](http://olemisssports.collegesports.com/sports/w-baskbl/mtt/awkward_ashley00.html) has an unfortunate surname, especially for an athlete. Imagine not knowing much about women’s basketball, randomly tuning into a broadcast of an Ole Miss game, hearing something like “Awkward pass into the post”, and assuming the commentator is excoriating the guard play (as opposed to giving a matter-of-fact description of the action). ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/17 "2005-10-04T13:28:29Z")
H.P. Lovecraft. Hmmm…was his ancestor in the “negotiable affections” industry? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/18 "2005-10-04T15:06:14Z")
I know somebody with a surgeon called Dr Slaughter and an anaesthesiologist called Dr Pillow. I don’t get why she keeps seeing that doctor. I mean come on, would YOU go to a doctor called Dr Slaughter? O\_O ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/19 "2005-10-04T15:14:35Z")
As in other SDMB hreads about this subject, I’ll bring up the [gold standard of awful last names](http://www.tomraper.com/) by which others should be measured. “Where Fun Begins!” ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/20 "2005-10-04T16:08:18Z")
My hometown had a medical doctor named Dr. Doctor. Dunno if his surname had anything to do with it… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542.md?page=2)