# Worst last names you've heard, BUT- the name ACTUALLY MEANS what it says **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 3, 2005, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542 "2005-10-03T07:39:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/21 "2005-10-04T16:48:17Z")
My hometown had an orthodontist named Dr. Byron Bonebreak. Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/22 "2005-10-04T22:29:43Z")
Ha! I used to know a veterinarian named Dr. Bone. Bone, veterinarian, ha ha, right? But what always amused me was the thought of him as a young man trying to score with the ladies in nightclubs saying, “Hello ladies, I’m doctor Bone.” ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/23 "2005-10-04T23:18:52Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > As in other SDMB hreads about this subject, I’ll bring up the [gold standard of awful last names](http://www.tomraper.com/) by which others should be measured. > > “Where Fun Begins!” That guy owns every billboard in Ohio. I had a client whose last name was Swackhammer. The first time he called after I started working at that office, he identified himself and I said “oh no you’re not”. Oops. My childhood dentist was named Dr. Payne. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/24 "2005-10-05T00:28:42Z")
In middle school there was a boy with the last name of Raper. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/25 "2005-10-05T06:10:07Z")
Lipschtiz baby Lipschtiz. Pronounced just like it is spelled. Lip Shitz Top that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/26 "2005-10-05T06:55:45Z")
I had a fourth grade teacher named Ms. Bane that I hated. She really was the bane of my existence. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/27 "2005-10-05T15:17:26Z")
Yesterday I engraved something for a nurse whose last name was Germ. Today on the news there was a story about emminent domain, and one of the litigants was named Horney, and I thought about this thread. I once opend a bank account for someone named Turnipseed. Which isn’t embarassing, but odd. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/28 "2005-10-05T18:23:53Z")
I have family named Tarbutton. I have no idea where it originates. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/29 "2005-10-05T18:43:30Z")
I grew up across the street from people named Doolittle, and the people next door to them were named Drinkwater. ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/30 "2005-10-05T20:01:35Z")
I knew a Captain Major who later became Major Major. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/31 "2005-10-06T00:03:39Z")
> [@MacSpon](#): > > I knew a Captain Major who later became Major Major. I wish him all luck in becoming Major General Major…generally? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/32 "2005-10-06T03:24:55Z")
I knew a person named Mr. I’mgoingtocompletelyignoretheOPandjustlistfunnynamesinthisthread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/33 "2005-10-06T03:52:05Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > I knew a person named Mr. I’mgoingtocompletelyignoretheOPandjustlistfunnynamesinthisthread. The OP was so ridiculously, elaborately specific that I lost track of what he/she might have been asking about halfway through. I used to know a guy named Sexsmith. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/34 "2005-10-06T04:33:21Z")
> [@bluethree](#): > > Spanish explorer Alvaro Nunez [Cabeza de Vaca’s](http://www.tsha.utexas.edu/handbook/online/articles/CC/fca6.html) last name means “cow’s head,” which is pretty funny to me, though it was meant as an honorific. A not-unheard-of Danish name is Kofoed, “cow’s hoof.” I’ve also heard tell of Germans named Kuhfuss, which means the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/35 "2005-10-06T04:58:11Z")
Given his rapid homophobia – Marvin Gay. He added the ‘e.’ ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/36 "2005-10-06T05:30:37Z")
As a civilian contractor on a military base, I met an Army Captain who’s last name is _Skipandgolightly_. He was a lighthearted and fun individual. Maybe not representative of his name in the truest sense, but close. ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/37 "2005-10-06T08:33:12Z")
In my old job I met customers with the names Luckcock and Glasscock. ---
**Author:** ![TygerDralion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@TygerDralion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TygerDralion)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/38 "2005-10-06T16:56:47Z")
I know of people with the last name of “Raper” and “Colon”. Both are pronounced exactly as the words normally are. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/39 "2005-10-06T17:00:41Z")
In Czech, “Sourek” is a not completely uncommon last name. It means “scrotum.” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542/40 "2005-10-06T17:24:56Z")
My old boss use to work with a guy whose last name was **Sexour** ( spelling is iffy, but it was pronounced: Sex Hour.) “Is there a Sexour there?” “Oh, don’t we wish!” Was the common joke in my old bosses office then. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-last-names-youve-heard-but-the-name-actually-means-what-it-says/324542.md?page=3)