Merl Haggard. So drunk he would sing about three lines, mumble something about not remembering the words then go to another song. Lather, rinse, repeat. Fortunately Willie Nelson was there (Billy Bob’s) and finished out the set.
A very close second was Paul Simon. What a rude, arragont prick. He spent most of the “concert” yelling at the audience. That really bummed me out because I really liked him and was looking forward to seeing him.
Mazzy Star somewhere in the mid 90’s. Not that I expected spitfire energy but I’d seen videos of performances and they were enjoyable. That show, however, Hope Sandoval was even less coherent than the studio albums. I’m not sure if she even moved her lips or just made vocal sounds with her throat. Came out, barely mumbled hello, mumbled through some songs, the strap on her dress broke (no idea how since she hadn’t moved), she wandered off stage for ten minutes to presumably find a safety pin or seamstress, wandered back on, mumbled through a few more songs and left. I was a fan of their albums but the show was frustratingly dull and disappointing. Half the time I wasn’t even sure what song was supposedly being sung and she spent the show draped over the mic stand so you could barely see her as well.
A few years ago, my wife told me that her sister was going to see Hope Sandoval perform that night and I told my wife about that show. A few hours later, my sister-in-law called to make my same complaints almost verbatim (Hope’s dress remained intact).
Never saw a bad concert. The closest was my FIRST concert. Crosby, Stills & Nash, back in the early-80’s when Crosby skipped bail and toured. They sat in chairs, played one or two songs, and then Crosby walked off-stage. From there, Stills & Nash took turns trying to talk Crosby back on stage while the other performed solo. Crosby eventually came back onstage and they all played a few numbers together. I think it was better for the problems - more memorable, and I got to see professionals ad-lib when everything went to hell. Steven Stills kicked ass. Much ass.
Apologies to all who have read that story before, but I love revisiting that memory.
Some friends and I were in a bar that was trying out a new band. They were so bad, so offensive to our aesthetic that we thought, in our drunkenness, that the morally right, civilized response to their caterwauling was to beat them up and throw them into the street. Fortunately, we realized our drunkenness, laughed about it, and ordered more beer. The owner never invited 'em back.
Kiss, 1984. Don’t think I even stayed awake for the whole thing. Tedious and uninspired.
Two Loons For Tea.
They were brilliant, but the morons who set up the KEXP benefit concert made sure all their friends bands, who A: sucked and B: were in totally different and incompatible genres, got to open. The three terrible bands drove everyone else home and Two Loons for Tea didn’t get to go on stage until 12:45 AM. On a Thursday.
If there were a dozen people left to see the show, I’d be shocked.
The worst performance had to be Dave Van Ronk, who I love, but who came out drunk, sang 3 songs and staggered off the stage (Main Point, outside of Philadelphia, 1971(ish)).
The concert I hated most was Humble Pie and Johnny (or was it Edgar?) Winter, who blasted out my eyeballs, broke my ears and gave me a migraine I will never forget. (I think that was the whole point, though.)
Madonna at the forum. Everything about it sucked. No traffic control, location, sound just an overall crappy concert going experience. I haven’t seen any of her concerts after that.
See my response in the original thread:
So… I believe you. A bad Dylan concert is terrible. A good one is magical. I’ve been at both more than once.
James Taylor. It was so intimately “soothing” that I almost went into a coma. My girlfriend wouldn’t let me leave because she was afraid it might be noticed. That’s how intimate it was.
Bob Seager. After his first song he took a deep bow, did the Nixon thing, then stretched out his arms like Jesus on the cross. I thought What a pretencious prick, got up and left. Pissed off my date who’d paid for the tickets. But at least I escaped.
So James Taylor’s “concert” is the worst because I actually sat through it.
I second that.
There are two concerts that stand out in a bad way for me.
The first was Van Morrison around 1973 or 74. Although he was rotten musically (off key, unenergetic, poor choice of songs, . . .), his demeanor was even worse. By that, I mean he was horribly nervous and clearly uptight. He simply exuded anxiety. So much so, in fact, that he made me feel nervous vicariously (it didn’t help that I was waaaaaaaaaay stoned with some very potent hash and that, in itself, made me paranoid. That, together with Van’s radiating and contagious anxiety, made it that I could have taken a gram of Valium and not even yawned). All in all, a particularly shitty experience.
The other concert from Hell was the infamous one at Watkins Glen in the summer of 1973. Nobody wanted to be left out this time. In other words, Woodstock was already legendary and the people who missed out on it weren’t gonna let the same thing happen again. Sooooo, it wound up that there were something like 600,000 people at the concert (with washroom facilities for, maybe, 600!) What a royal mess. Early in the day, it was sunny and hot. Later, though, it poured. Mud, mud, mud. And that made it hot and humid with absolutely nowhere to get a drink. Dehydration city, man! As for the music, most of us could not even see the stage. It could have been my mother playing up there - I wouldn’t have been able to tell. The sound was no better. I think I heard a few notes. Once. But that may have just been the dope we had smoked. I could not get away from there fast enough.
Here is a picture from Watkins Glen. I’m the guy with the long hair (by the stage).
Looks like there’s lots of bad Bob Dylan concerts. But the guy, even in his day, really could never sing. Has he gotten that much worse??
How in the hell do you sing “you are my sunshine” for an hour and a half. Was this hyperbole or…?
Fortunately I’ve never been to any really bad concerts. I’ve only been to a small number honestly and they were all artists who were way past their prime (Pat Benetar, Foreigner, Weird Al (ok he’s always still great), Aerosmith, Fastball). The only bad memory I even have is in the Fastball concert the guy behind me spit or spilt his beer all over my shoulders and back. But that’s hardly the band’s fault. Aerosmith didn’t play a ton of the songs I like from them, but everything they played was very well executed and the show just had a lot of energy and fun.
Yes. Union tour. 1991. They combined the two groups that were playing under the “Yes” name. Absolutely unlistenable. I had to retreat behind a heavy curtain to muffle the aural assault.
Two people mentioned CSN, I’m surprised. I saw them sometime in the last ten years and they sounded absolutely amazing. Soundwise, one of the best concerts I ever went to. All their voices sounded great, their harmonies were perfect, they sounded like they did when they recorded 40 years ago.
My worst concert was easily Fleetwood Mac (again, sometime in the last 10 years). When Lindsey would take the mic it was okay, but the rest of the show was pretty awful. The music sucked, Stevie sounded terrible, it wasn’t even worth seeing them to say I saw them. I have to assume they were having a bad night because I’ve never heard anyone else say they’re bad live.
My worst was Linda Ronstadt. It wasn’t her, she was fine. It was the seats. We couldn’t see the stage, so we’d have been just as well off staying home and listening to some albums.
My wife made me go to the Cliff Richard musical based on Wuthering Heights. It was awful, just awful. Not a memorable tune in the whole show and the man just can’t act. Of course, we had seats way up in the back of a really steeply sloped auditorium, so that didn’t help. Neither did the dreadful acoustics in the venue nor the hordes of middle-aged women that rushed the stage every time his Cliff-ness started droning out another instantly forgettable dirge.
That’s a night of my life I’ll never get back.
The Beach Boys. The lead singer turned around and told the crowd behind the band to, “Shut the fuck up!” Turns out he meant the drummer! Who promptly stood up and walked off! After some apologies for being too drunk they got the drummer back and continued, what a shameless display.
I can empathize that’s it’s not easy to sing the same dozen songs for 40 yrs but, sheesh, show some professionalism!
I walked out of a Gordon Lightfoot concert because I just couldn’t take it any more! The songs all had the identical pacing, and that same droning voice. It was leave or scream!
Deep Purple, back in the late 70’s. I had a horrific, throbbing toothache. The 20+ minute organ solo during the song ‘Lazy’ doubled my agony.
ETA: Here is a taste of it starting around the 4:50 mark.
mmm
The Possum George Jones.
His voice was so hoarse he should have cancelled or postponed the performance. Instead he went on and it was so hard to listen to that it wasn’t worth it.
I temporarily blocked the real worst concert out of my memory, but I will repost it again now that you have reminded me.
So myself and two others were in Athens and of all the great music places we decide on a place that is supposedly holding a battle of the bands and so we thought hey, a great mix of local talent so let’s do it.
But only the warm up band played. No other bands showed up. The warm up band wasn’t even that great, and they only had one set worth of material so when no other band showed up they played the exact same set again. Of cheesy southern rock.
Then still no bands showed up. Well, actually Dave Matthews Band showed up, before he was famous. Well, actually just his fiddler. So the opening band played the same set for a third time, with the fiddler playing along. The fiddler was the only good part of the concert, and I do get to say that I saw DMB’s fiddler before they became famous. But of all rock bands that I could say this about there are plenty I’d rather pick than DMB.
