# Worst lyric rhymes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [September 1, 2021, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876 "2021-09-01T04:57:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/1 "2021-09-01T04:57:16Z")
If “worst” is objectionable for some, we can go with “near” or “lazy”. Or [slant rhyme.](https://www.litcharts.com/literary-devices-and-terms/slant-rhyme) In the following line from Frank Zappa’s “Can’t Afford No Shoes”… [ _Went to buy some cheap detergent_ _Some emergent nation got my load_ _Got my load_ _Got my toad_ _That I stowed_ ](https://youtu.be/CcwwYYZ_EM8?t=29) …trying to sneak in that “emergent” rhyme with “detergent”, and the “load/toad/stowed” thing …naaaaaa. Rob Wright of Nomeansno trying to find a rhyme here: [ _Above me is a black **obelisk** _ _And the dangers that I **risk** _ ](https://youtu.be/qAKWoeq-t3o?t=95) Again, I’ll have to go with, well - a bit of a stretch, for me. David Thomas triying to be clever (which, admittedly, he often can be) in Pere Ubu’s “Petrified” with this beauty: [ _Has the short end of the stick_ _Been given archaeopteryx?_ ](https://youtu.be/tRaoKKYQAt0?t=105) I know there’s more on the tip of the ole tongue. ETA: The first two examples being more a lameness than off-rhyme issue. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/2 "2021-09-01T05:02:23Z")
“Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell If we stand the test of time” _Why Can’t This Be Love?_ by Van Hagar Rhyming _time_ with _time_ isn’t even the worst part of it. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/3 "2021-09-01T05:17:45Z")
Heh, quick derail on _WCTBL_: I always thought one of the grossest lyrics of all time was in that song… “It’s got what it takes” - nothing like beer ad copy in a Van Hagar song. > [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Rhyming _time_ with _time_ isn’t even the worst part of it. Ah yes, the beautiful double rhyme: https://www.youtube.com/embed/JKIODEPTJw8?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque&list=PLGy7_sSsbUUkpUsKvXXvTGyiFqKSLNT1O&start=93 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/4 "2021-09-01T05:19:19Z")
Almost every hymn. Seriously, how many rhyme “Good” and “God”, or sometimes “Blood”. And that’s just the tip of the holy iceberg. I’m the assisting minister at our church, so sometimes I’m walking next to the senior pastor as we’re singing. And he allllmost cracks up every time I sing those lines so they rhyme (so after “blood”, I sing “gud”… just loud enough for it to annoy him. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/5 "2021-09-01T05:40:22Z")
I prefer near/slant rhyme to true rhymes myself. (Not to be contrarian—I just think they usually sound better, more so in poetry than song lyrics, where I can tolerate perfect rhyme more,) I’m sure this one will come up as one of the worst, but it’s one of my favorite identity rhymes, playing on two meanings of “mass”: “Generals gathered in their masses/just like witches at black masses.” (“War Pigs,” by Black Sabbath, of course,) That is just killer. As for rhymes I truly hate: almost any song that rhymes “love” with “above” or “glove.” The laziest, tritest, most uninteresting rhyme there is. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/6 "2021-09-01T05:44:32Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > As for rhymes I truly hate: almost any song that rhymes “love” with “above” or “glove.” The laziest, tritest, most uninteresting rhyme there is More trite than “fire” and “desire”? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/7 "2021-09-01T05:49:26Z")
It’s a close call, but I can tolerate fire/desire more. Jimi made it work well enough in “Let Me Stand Next to your Fire,” so it’s got that going for it. I’m sure I can think of “love”/“above” exceptions, but if you hit the trifecta and add “glove,” yer out. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/8 "2021-09-01T05:52:08Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > The laziest, tritest, most uninteresting rhyme there is. One of the more clicheed ones rhymes that I’ll have to put Pere Ubu’s feet to the fire again, in the otherwise serviceable “Waiting For Mary” - [_I’m down on my knees, I’m begging you please._](https://youtu.be/I0Ov-rJGey8?t=139) ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/9 "2021-09-01T06:04:35Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > beautiful double rhyme: er, beautiful _repeated_ rhyme, that should be; ‘double’ being something quite different. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/10 "2021-09-01T06:13:34Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > The laziest, tritest, most uninteresting rhyme there is. No, that would be rhyming “school” with “golden rule”. Is there a single song in the history of man that doesn’t use that? Sure, you can rhyme “fool”, but “golden rule” has to be used first. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/11 "2021-09-01T06:18:15Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Sure, you can rhyme “fool”, but “golden rule” has to be used first. With “fool”, I always associate it with “cool” as being one of the go-to-too-manys. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/12 "2021-09-01T06:32:35Z")
I think Steve Miller wins for _taxes/facts is_ in _Take the Money and Run_. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/13 "2021-09-01T06:37:42Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > The laziest, tritest, most uninteresting rhyme there is. Surely _sadness/madness_ takes that crown. My nomination for the OP: “I am an anarchist-a I am the antichrist-a” That is just dumb, even for punk. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/14 "2021-09-01T06:42:04Z")
Somebody get me a ladder. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/15 "2021-09-01T06:46:59Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > I think Steve Miller wins for _taxes/facts is_ in _Take the Money and Run_ . Almost just as dung-worthy: _Abra, abra, cadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya_ ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/16 "2021-09-01T09:41:51Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Almost every hymn. > > Seriously, how many rhyme “Good” and “God”, or sometimes “Blood”. And that’s just the tip of the holy iceberg. > > I’m the assisting minister at our church, so sometimes I’m walking next to the senior pastor as we’re singing. And he allllmost cracks up every time I sing those lines so they rhyme (so after “blood”, I sing “gud”… just loud enough for it to annoy him. That is called an [imperfect rhyme](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfect_and_imperfect_rhymes#Imperfect_rhyme). It is a legit literary device. You may also be seeing examples of [assonance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assonance) (or consonance). > [@needscoffee](#): > > > [@pulykamell](#): > > > > As for rhymes I truly hate: almost any song that rhymes “love” with “above” or “glove.” The laziest, tritest, most uninteresting rhyme there is > > More trite than “fire” and “desire”? You just raised the bar higher. mmm ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/17 "2021-09-01T10:51:57Z")
In _Fantastic Voyage_, Coolio rhymes ‘yourself’ with ‘left’ and somehow pulls it off. I like taxes/facts is. It’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/18 "2021-09-01T11:26:56Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > _Why Can’t This Be Love?_ by Van Hagar > > Rhyming _time_ with _time_ isn’t even the worst part of it. That’s not what the rhyme is, though. > [@Sammy Hagar](#): > > I tell myself > Hey, only fools rush in > And only time will tell > If we stand the test of time > All I know > You’ve got to run to win > And I’ll be damned if I’ll get > Hung up on the line It’s an ABAB rhyme. “In”/Win" and “Time”/“Line”. It can be argued that “time” and “line” is an imperfect rhyme, but it’s not rhyming “time” with itself. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/19 "2021-09-01T11:33:02Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I prefer near/slant rhyme to true rhymes myself. (Not to be contrarian—I just think they usually sound better, more so in poetry than song lyrics, where I can tolerate perfect rhyme more,) You’d love “Bagpipe Music” by Louis Macniece [https://www.poetrybyheart.org.uk/poems/bagpipe-music/](https://www.poetrybyheart.org.uk/poems/bagpipe-music/) ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/20 "2021-09-01T11:40:24Z")
Bob Dylan forced a rhyme with “sweet” in “The Mighty Quinn” with the improbable construction, “cup of meat”. “Oh you know I like to do just like the rest You know I like my sugar sweet But jumping fumes and making haste You know it ain’t my a cup of meat” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876.md?page=2)