# Worst lyric rhymes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [September 1, 2021, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876 "2021-09-01T04:57:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cugel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cugel/32/1199_2.png) [@Cugel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cugel)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/61 "2021-09-02T04:00:24Z")
First one I thought of too. Second one: “I must admit I felt a little uneasy When she bent down to tie the laces of my shoe Tangled up in blue” ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/62 "2021-09-02T04:09:00Z")
Nick Cave has some interesting rhymes. In _The Curse of Millhaven_ he rhymes _a-roaming, a-combing, moaning, a-flowing, going, phoning, foaming, a-going, stowing, blowing,_ and finally, _a home in_. Then the very last verse he doesn’t bother and chucks _groovy_ in there. In \*O’Malley’s Bar" he has these gems: Well, you know those fish with the swollen lips That clean the ocean floor When I looked at poor O’Malley’s wife That’s exactly what I saw I jammed the barrel under her chin And her face looked raw and vicious Her head it landed in the sink With all the dirty dishes I’ve lived in this town for thirty years And to no-one I am a stranger And I put new bullets in my gun Chamber upon chamber I shot Richard Holmes in the stomach And gingerly he sat down And he whispered weirdly, “No offense” And then lay upon the ground “None taken”, I replied to him To which he gave a little cough With blazing wings I neatly aimed And blew his head completely off ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/63 "2021-09-02T04:27:43Z")
Thanks for the double TIL on that. Can’t believe I’d never heard of jump blues before. There’s 10CC going for an omitted rhyme in “The Worst Band in the World”: _It’s one thing to know it but another to admit_ _We’re the worst band in the world_ _But we don’t give a_ I’ll spare linking. ---
**Author:** ![veryfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/87869e/32.png) [@veryfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veryfrank)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/64 "2021-09-02T19:46:13Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUBv.2](#): > > _Her diary, it sits by the bedside table_ > _The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle_ I think technically that’s assonance, not rhyming, but I personally usually give a pass on that. ---
**Author:** ![veryfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/87869e/32.png) [@veryfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veryfrank)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/65 "2021-09-02T19:47:53Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > Nick Cave has some interesting rhymes. I’m stunned nobody has quoted “Rock of Gibraltar” yet. Nick rhymes the landmark with “falter” and “alter” but also drops in this gem: _Under the big yellow moon_ _On our honeymoon_ _I took you on a trip to Malta_ _And all through the night_ _You held me so tight_ _Your great, steady Rock of Gibraltar_ ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/66 "2021-09-02T20:03:35Z")
It’s a bit more than just plain assonance, as you also have the same schwa-l at the end there, so you also have consonance. You could put it under the broad category of slant or imperfect rhyme, or near rhyme, or whatever you want to call it. I think – and maybe I’m wrong – that @WOOKINPANUBv.2 was also commenting on the “cats in the cradle” imagery. ---
**Author:** ![Drsunflower1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drsunflower1/32/12711_2.png) [@Drsunflower1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drsunflower1)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/67 "2021-09-02T20:04:17Z")
Tom Lehrer is great at deliberately making far-fetched rhymes/puns. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/iaHDBL7dVgs/hqdefault.jpg "Tom Lehrer - Smut - LIVE FILM From Copenhagen in 1967") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaHDBL7dVgs) And Nick Cave is superb. Also, Alex Turner. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanubv.2/32/3260_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUBv.2)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/68 "2021-09-02T22:05:44Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > It’s a bit more than just plain assonance, as you also have the same schwa-l at the end there, so you also have consonance. You could put it under the broad category of slant or imperfect rhyme, or near rhyme, or whatever you want to call it. I think – and maybe I’m wrong – that @WOOKINPANUBv.2 was also commenting on the “cats in the cradle” imagery. Yup. Based on others’ responses I thought we were including lyrics that are put together to “kind of” rhyme. It’s all good. Plus, I learned the words “assonance” and “consonance” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/69 "2021-09-02T22:28:15Z")
Yeah, assonance is repetition of vowel sounds; alliteration of initial sounds (usually consonant sounds); consonance is of consonant sounds anywhere in the word. Then you have masculine rhymes, which end only a terminal stressed syllable (“mate” and “great,” “correct” and “infect.”) and feminine rhymes, in which rhyming unstressed syllables follow the rhymed stressed syllable (“syllable” and “billable,” for example.) Identity rhyme (rhyming a word with itself or a word that sounds like itself, e.g. “rhyme” and “rime,” or in the stressed parts of two different words like “cruise” and “accrues.” Rime riche is a similar concept.) Identity rhymes, for whatever reason, are often viewed as “lazy” or not rhymes in English prosody, but they occur in other languages commonly (like French.) I personally have no issue with them (as given in my Black Sabbath example above.) More colors to work with in the palette. A lot of more contemporary poetry (and by “contemporary” I’m talking the last hundred years) when opting for traditional forms often choose these “softer” types of rhymes, often mixing them with perfect rhymes. For example, take Seamus Heaney’s first eight lines of Glanmore Sonnet V, in ABAB CDCD rhyme structure: Soft corrugations in the boortree’s trunk, Its green young shoots, its rods like freckled solder: It was our bower as children, a greenish, dank And snapping memory as I get older. And elderberry I have learned to call it. I love its blooms like saucers brimmed with meal, Its berries a swart caviar of shot, A buoyant spawn, a light bruised out of purple. We have these rhymes: “trunk/dank,” “solder/older,” “it/shot,” “meal/purple.” And his final couplet, rhymes “crouch” with “hush.” I’ve always enjoyed the sound of these subtler “rhymes.” (He does have a perfect rhyme with “wine/mine” in the third quatrain, but that’s the only traditional rhyme (depending on how “solder” and “older” are pronounced) in this particular sonnet. In the other ones in this sonnet cycle, he does use more perfect rhymes, but interspersed with many slant rhymes. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/70 "2021-09-03T05:35:27Z")
From ELP’s “Still You Turn Me On” comes this bit of deathless rhyme: “… Every day a little sadder A little madder Someone get me a ladder.” ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/71 "2021-09-03T05:36:58Z")
> [@SunUp](#): > > How niche can these be? > > Steve Taylor, a Christian music new wave singer from the 80’s, wrote in _Whatever Happened To Sin?_: > > _If the Lord don’t care and he chooses to ignore-ah > tell that to the people of Sodom and Gomorrah_ > > which to me is a literary atrocity much worse than anything the people of Sodom and Gomorrah ever did. Yeah, but Steve Taylor wrote satirical stuff. I’m sure he intended for that rhyme to be bad. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/72 "2021-09-03T06:19:48Z")
It’s a [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxDyXK93o6g) I like from a period when Neil Diamond was great, but _“I am,” I said_ _To no one there_ _An no one heard at all_ _Not even the chair_ is crap. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/73 "2021-09-03T06:44:38Z")
And the two opening verses, before that, have several rhymes that aren’t exactly the stuff of strenuous mental gymnastics. ---
**Author:** ![Newtosite](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/newtosite/32/8623_2.png) [@Newtosite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Newtosite)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/74 "2021-09-03T13:18:57Z")
Maybe it’s just me, but in I Need you to Turn to, Elton John sings, “You’re not a ship to carry my life You are nailed to my love in many lonely nights I’ve strayed from the cottages and found myself here For I need your love, your love protects my fears.” He also rhymes “control” with “cold.” ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/75 "2021-09-03T13:41:32Z")
From **Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat** : “Greatest man since Noah, Only goes to show-ah…” Quality of the rhyme aside, did no one point out to Tim Rice what “show-ah” sounds like? ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/76 "2021-09-03T14:09:26Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Yeah, but Steve Taylor wrote satirical stuff. I’m sure he intended for that rhyme to be bad. Considering that he wrote a deliberately bad rap song called “Bad Rap”, you may have a point. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/77 "2021-09-03T15:06:55Z")
I assume he must have known. If grammar tortured to make a rhyme counts, then “America” from “West Side Story” must be a contender, for this bit: > I like the island Manhattan, > Smoke on your pipe, > And put that in ---
**Author:** ![veryfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/87869e/32.png) [@veryfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veryfrank)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/78 "2021-09-03T18:20:08Z")
> [@Pardel-Lux](#): > > It’s a [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxDyXK93o6g) I like from a period when Neil Diamond was great, but > > _“I am,” I said_ > _To no one there_ > _An no one heard at all_ > _Not even the chair_ > > is crap. Dave Barry got four columns and a book out of this “rhyme” as it kicked off his Bad Songs Survey back in the 90s. [Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Barry%27s_Book_of_Bad_Songs) The other Neil Diamond lyric from which he got mileage was “Song she sang to me/Song she brang to me.” (“Of course, I think those lyrics are brilliant, but they brang out a lot of hostility in my readers.”) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/79 "2021-09-03T18:24:02Z")
I love that book. If you’re of the right age, or have knowledge of the songs of that period, it is pants-pissingly hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/80 "2021-09-03T18:25:13Z")
Perhaps I should clarify that I like this Neil Diamond song and others from that time because my mother played them often (well, mothers, you know…) and the music is good, but I did not speak English at the time, so the lyrics went right over me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876.md?page=5)