# Worst lyric rhymes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [September 1, 2021, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876 "2021-09-01T04:57:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![veryfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/87869e/32.png) [@veryfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veryfrank)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/81 "2021-09-03T18:31:20Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I love that book. If you’re of the right age, or have knowledge of the songs of that period, it is pants-pissingly hilarious. It’s a perfect bathroom book. Still, 95% of the songs listed were from a kind of cruddy couple of decades of American MOR music that would come to fill the airwaves of easy-listening stations by the eighties. Skimming through it sends me flashing back to a high school job at a stationery store where the fuddy-duddy owner kept the radio locked on an easy-listening all day. The station had precisely one playlist that never varied in years, and I got burned out for life on Ronnie Milsap, Nana Mouskouri and Lee Greenwood (not to mention a hideous instrumental version of “Light my Fire” that I think had been transposed into a major key). The New Musical Express used to have a weekly column called “Bismillah! (no, we will not let him go)” that served much the same purpose as the Barry book, but of actual good punk/funk/new wave songs. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/82 "2021-09-03T19:16:35Z")
Lots of rhyming with “now,” but they mostly took care of the word before it (stand, man, can) as well. > [Verse 1] > Well, she got her daddy’s car > And she cruised through the hamburger stand, now > Seems she forgot all about the library > Like she told her old man, now > And with the radio blasting > Goes cruising just as fast as she can now > > [Chorus] > [And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-bird away](https://genius.com/1311536/The-beach-boys-fun-fun-fun/And-shell-have-fun-fun-fun-till-her-daddy-takes-the-t-bird-away) > (Fun, fun, fun, 'till her daddy takes the T-bird away) ---
**Author:** ![KMS94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ad7895/32.png) [@KMS94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KMS94)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/83 "2021-09-03T19:30:03Z")
From the Humpty Dance, by Digital Underground. Always bugged me. I get laid by the ladies, you know I’m in charge, both how I’m livin’ and my nose is large. I get stupid, I use an arrow like Cupid, I use a word that don’t mean nothin’, like “loopid” Conversely, I’ve always gotten a kick out of Alice Cooper’s School’s out Well, we got no class And we got no principals We ain’t got no innocence We can’t even think of a word that rhymes ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/84 "2021-09-03T19:35:17Z")
> [@jnglmassiv](#): > > Does anyone ever feel _blue_ outside of song lyrics? Along these lines, nobody’s ever talking about their _brain_ outside of songs. I actually can’t think of any examples right now but I know they’re out there and they drive me nuts. It’s always a super lazy word choice. Also: “If ever a wonderful Wiz there was The Wizard Of Oz is one **because** **Because because because because because** **Because** of the wonderful things he does!” ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/85 "2021-09-03T19:57:35Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Along these lines, nobody’s ever talking about their _brain_ outside of songs. You mean my membrane? ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/86 "2021-09-03T20:01:41Z")
I think Sting deserves some derision, just because he tries so hard. A few examples from one song (Wrapped Around Your Finger): _You consider me the young apprentice_ _Caught between the Scylla and Charybdis_ _Mephistopheles is not your name_ _I know what you’re up to just the same_ _I will turn your face to alabaster_ _When you’ll find your servant is your master_ ---
**Author:** ![Reno\_Nevada\_Jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecc23a/32.png) [@Reno\_Nevada\_Jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reno_Nevada_Jr)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/87 "2021-09-03T20:08:33Z")
> [@Drsunflower1](#): > > Tom Lehrer is great at deliberately making far-fetched rhymes/puns. I would have gone with the verse from Folk Song Army: _The tune don’t have to be clever,_ _And it don’t matter if you put a couple of extra syllables into a line,_ _It sounds more ethnic if it ain’t good English,_ _And it don’t even gotta rhyme._ Excuse me: _rhyne_. ---
**Author:** ![veryfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/87869e/32.png) [@veryfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veryfrank)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/88 "2021-09-03T20:19:01Z")
Since I don’t want to start a new thread, and now that Tom Lehrer has been mentioned, I have to drop one of my absolute favorite lyrics ever with a flawless rhyme scheme, from Allan Sherman’s “The Ballad of Harry Lewis.” _Oh Harry Lewis perished_ _In the service of his Lord_ _He was trampling through the warehouse_ _Where the drapes of Roth are stored_ “Drapes of Roth.” Utter genius. Then even though that honestly couldn’t be topped, he goes ahead and rounds out the verse: _He had the finest funeral_ _The union could afford_ _And his cloth goes shining on_ Of course, it makes little sense out of context because the first verse sets up that he works for Irving Roth and…okay, there’s a “…really?” rhyme in the first verse, when he rhymes “Roth” with “fourth” so I guess this still qualifies for the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/89 "2021-09-03T20:36:53Z")
Sherman and Lehrer are both brilliant in their own way. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/90 "2021-09-04T00:05:32Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > From ELP’s “Still You Turn Me On” comes this bit of deathless rhyme: > > “… Every day a little sadder > A little madder > Someone get me a ladder.” Mentioned in post #13 but worth repeating. The worst moment in the worst song in the finest album of the 70’s. In fact, the _only_ bad track on the album. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/91 "2021-09-04T00:20:07Z")
“You do nothing but socialize And become a menace Put on some Reeboks and Go play funky tennis” - Reverend Black Grape _It’s Great When You’re Straight_ On the first part of the journey I was looking at all the life There were plants and birds and rocks and things There was sand and hills and rings - America, _A Horse With No Name_ ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/92 "2021-09-04T11:29:12Z")
Tom Lehrer rhymes “The Elements” almost perfectly, but ends it with the lines: “These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard And there may be many others but they haven’t been discovered.” When he sings it, it sounds like they rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/93 "2021-09-04T13:13:59Z")
> [@anny\_m](#): > > “A very merry Christmas > And a happy New Year > I hope it’s a good one > Without any fear.” This. I hate that song so much. And I love Lennon. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/94 "2021-09-04T13:16:28Z")
That makes me shake and cough. Just like the old man in that book by Nabokov. ---
**Author:** ![Drsunflower1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drsunflower1/32/12711_2.png) [@Drsunflower1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drsunflower1)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/95 "2021-09-04T15:45:20Z")
That’s just Sting being a pretentious twat IMHO. “The West is the best” from The End by The Doors always makes me cringe. ---
**Author:** ![Drsunflower1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drsunflower1/32/12711_2.png) [@Drsunflower1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drsunflower1)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/96 "2021-09-04T15:47:40Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > _You consider me the young apprentice_ > _Caught between the Scylla and Charybdis_ > > _Mephistopheles is not your name_ > _I know what you’re up to just the same_ > > _I will turn your face to alabaster_ > _When you’ll find your servant is your master_ However since it’s my favorite song from The Police I’ll give it a pass just this once ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/97 "2021-09-04T16:08:04Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I prefer near/slant rhyme to true rhymes myself. (Not to be contrarian—I just think they usually sound better, Same here. Near rhymes are a thing. Perfect rhyming can seem too one the nose. I’ve seen instances where attempting to force a perfect rhyme results in interjecting something that doesn’t really make sense. To my ear, Dylan is the worst. You can see the rhyme coming from a mile away. “The pump don’t work ‘cause the vandal stole the handle”. Really? ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/98 "2021-09-04T21:56:10Z")
These two from “San Francisco Nights” by the Animals: “Angels sing leather wings Jeans of blue Harley Davidsons too” and maybe even worse: “The children are cool, they don’t raise fools It’s an American dream, includes Indians too” 🙄 ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/99 "2021-09-04T22:06:34Z")
> [@Drsunflower1](#): > > “The West is the best” from The End by The Doors always makes me cringe. Sheer poetry! Just like “There’s a killer on the road/his brain is squirming like a toad.” And “Like a dog without a bone/an actor out on loan(?)” ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/100 "2021-09-04T23:18:56Z")
I could tire-necklace Jon Anderson for a lot of his lyrics, and really: _The music dance, and sing-uh,_ _the make the chil-dren really ring._ oh ffs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876.md?page=6)