# Worst lyric rhymes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [September 1, 2021, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876 "2021-09-01T04:57:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2021, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/161 "2021-09-23T17:56:19Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Carson McKee has a great voice and it’s a nice cover I love this guy and all the folks he plays with. Through him, I was introduced to Josh Turner. Check out his solo on this song: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/ASi7lyg5gRI/maxresdefault.jpg "The Bare Necessities (The Jungle Book Cover)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASi7lyg5gRI) ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2021, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/162 "2021-09-23T21:37:51Z")
I’ve supported Josh through Patreon for some time now > [@Wow, that's a great cover of that song](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-thats-a-great-cover-of-that-song/851596/542): > > If you want to see any number of excellent covers, have a look on youtube at Josh Turner’s channel. No, not the country singer. This guy: He plays either by himself or - as The Other Favorites - with his friend Carson McKie or with a variety of other talented musicians. Alone or with others his covers are absolutely stellar, if you like voice and (usually) acoustic guitar. Josh is a gifted guitarist and arranger and Carson adds some guitar and a great voice. I won’t bother mentioning an… And yes great solo. One of many. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2021, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/163 "2021-09-24T00:21:37Z")
In “Acting Like Black Sabbath” by the Dayglo Abortions, Murray goes: _Tony Iommi is my god_ _His guitar solos have been osterized_ That, just, NO… And whatever the hell ‘osterized’ is. I’ve let him know. ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2021, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/164 "2021-09-24T00:27:25Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > And whatever the hell ‘osterized’ is. Put through the [osterizer?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osterizer#/media/File:Osterizer.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![alovem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@alovem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alovem)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/165 "2023-05-17T16:48:22Z")
I’m bumping this not-so-old thread. Somebody please say something if it’s preferrable to start a new one. I came across some truly awful verses last night on YouTube. From the kitchen, I heard a few words that made me stop what I was doing and back up the video for another listen. Yup, just what I’d thought: I’ll sing to him, each spring to him And worship the trousers that cling to him Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I What the hell? I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or groan, so I did both. I still can’t believe the great Ella Fitzgerald covered this stinker. A few verses later: Vexed again, perplexed again Thank God, I can be oversexed again Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I Wow. I had a look online this morning, and it turns out that it’s a well-known standard penned by Rodgers and Hart (included in The Great American Songbook). Maybe some of you are familiar with it, but I’d never heard of it. After looking at the rest of the verses, I think the concept is okay, as it’s about the cycle of infatuation, seduction and disenchantment, which IMO is always interesting (after that last verse I’ve posted, the refrain switches to “Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered **no more** ”). But it’s all so ham-fisted and cheesy! _Mmm… Ham and cheese…_ Here’s a link to a [video with lyrics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fzZ4l2H5-w). ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanubv.2/32/3260_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUBv.2)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/166 "2023-05-17T18:06:16Z")
My go for this topic: "I would swallow my pride I would choke on the rind **But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside** The lack thereof? Oh you sweet talker. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/167 "2023-05-17T22:21:54Z")
> [@alovem](#): > > What the hell? Quite a few of the standards have subpar lyrics. “Let’s Do It” is awful, I mean ‘educated fleas,’ really? The bridge to “These Foolish Things” is an exercise in lazy songwriting. “Polka Dots and Moonbeams” with the ‘pug-nose dream.’ Etc., etc. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2023, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/168 "2023-05-17T23:59:45Z")
“Educated fleas” isn’t so bad - it brings to mind the sideshow “flea circuses” that were still well known at the time. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/169 "2023-05-18T00:37:00Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > From ELP’s “Still You Turn Me On” comes this bit of deathless rhyme: > > “… Every day a little sadder > A little madder > Someone get me a ladder.” I always took it be Greg Lake having a sense of humor about how pretentious prog-rock lyrics were …including his own. (As mentioned upstream, Jon Anderson’s were some of the worst) It reminded me of the end of John Prine’s “Illegal Smile”: _And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile,_ _It don’t cost very much, but it lasts a long while._ _Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone,_ _I was just trying to have me some fun._ _Well done._ _Hot dog bun._ _My sister’s a nun._ ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/170 "2023-05-18T02:59:01Z")
I always thought this from _Happy Together_ was pretty lame: _So happy together And how is the weather?_ Makes no sense in the context of the song. It feels like he just couldn’t come up with a good rhyme for “together”. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/171 "2023-05-18T10:32:39Z")
Jason Mraz’s song _Unlonely_ never fails to make my heart smile. That said, this couplet is either insane or inspired: _I give you my word although I’m making words up Unlonely ain’t a word, but I don’t give a fuck_ (There’s an argument to be made that the actual “word” in the song is _fruck_, but I don’t see that as an improvement.) ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/172 "2023-05-18T12:52:01Z")
_So happy together_ _Is that sofa pleather?_ Easy peasy. ---
**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/173 "2023-05-18T13:18:08Z")
Maybe it’s my general fondness for Larry Hart as a lyricist, but I’m not clear on what’s supposed to be so bad about the “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered” lyrics. The song is from Rodgers and Hart’s 1940 show _Pal Joey_, sung by a rich, married woman who Joey is having an affair with. She’s older than he is, and for both of them it’s pretty much a purely sexual relationship, even if they occasionally pretend otherwise. The lyrics support that. Even though Vera claims throughout the song that she loves Joey, the actual things that she finds attractive: “the trousers that cling to him,” the very blatant “oversexed,” and one that you didn’t quote, “horizontally speaking, he’s at his very best,” make it clear that she’s really in this relationship because he gives her a sexual excitement that she hasn’t been getting from her husband. The lyrics all speak to the physical aspects of attraction in a way that wasn’t at all common on Broadway of that era. It’s an example of Hart giving the character exactly the right thing to say at that moment in the show, revealing character through song, as the best Broadway writers do. It was a tremendously popular song, and has been covered by everyone from Doris Day to Rod Stewart. ---
**Author:** ![alovem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@alovem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alovem)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2023, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/174 "2023-05-18T16:59:47Z")
I thought my post made it clear that I get what the lyrics are about. I didn’t post more verses in order to avoid copyright infringement. I don’t think they’re scandalous but rather clumsy and poorly constructed. If you like them, more power to you. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/175 "2023-05-19T00:47:26Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > I always thought this from _Happy Together_ was pretty lame: > > _So happy together > And how is the weather?_ > > Makes no sense in the context of the song. It feels like he just couldn’t come up with a good rhyme for “together”. Kaylan and Volman were quite the irreverent types, though, so I can ride with that one. From “Elenore”: _You’re my pride and joy, etc._ ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/176 "2023-05-19T01:39:23Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > > [@markn\_1](#): > > > > _So happy together > > And how is the weather?_ > > Kaylan and Volman were quite the irreverent types, though, so I can ride with that one. > > From “Elenore”: > _You’re my pride and joy, etc._ Kaylan and Volman played with Zappa for a long time. And they are Flo and Eddie. So, yeah, irreverent. I love that they sing the whole punctuation: "You’re my pride and joy, _et cetera…"_ 🎶 ---
**Author:** ![the\_art\_of\_rolling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@the\_art\_of\_rolling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_art_of_rolling)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/177 "2023-05-19T09:09:58Z")
“What is a man, what has he got, If not himself, then he has naught”. Also, has anyone ever said “window pane” other than to rhyme with “rain”? ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/178 "2023-05-19T09:42:15Z")
Given that _And how is the weather?_ occurs once at the end of the song and, at least attempts to, break this up, _So happy together_ _And how is the weather?_ _So happy together_ _We’re happy together_ _So happy together_ _Happy together_ _So happy together_ _So happy together_ I’m not really sure it even should be noticed let alone count as a “Worst lyric rhyme”. Every other part of that is just rhyming _together_ with _together_ . . . that’s not rhyming! ---
**Author:** ![WhyKickAMooCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc29f/32.png) [@WhyKickAMooCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyKickAMooCow)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/179 "2023-05-19T10:12:55Z")
Couple of gems from Macclesfield… The Macc Lads - God’s Gift to Women: She said I was good looking and I looked a bit like George Michael But she didn’t want a f\*ckin’ she were on her menstrual cycle The Macc Lads - Charlotte: She’s the type of crack that you’ve heard about, the sort they call infamous Peroxide hair, dead long legs, and bog paper stuck to her an\*s ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2023, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876/180 "2023-05-19T12:01:43Z")
> [@Crane](#): > > I think Sullivan just got tired: > > When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, > When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery– > In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental strategy, > You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. > > You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. > You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. > You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee. > > For my military knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury, > Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century; > But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, > I am the very model of a modern Major-General. > > In the case of ‘gee’ he couldn’t fix it so he featured it. And, adventury isn’t even a word. But, who cares? It’s a song about a guy who’s faking everything else. I know this is an old post but I couldn’t let it go. Firstly: lyrics by Gilbert, music by Sullivan. So the words are Gilbert’s fault. Secondly: As the rest of the song indicates and as you somewhat note, the ludicrousness of the MG’s claims and the way he states them is entirely the joke. Thirdly: A “gee” is a horse. “Sat a gee” means “rode a horse”, although the obvious forced rhyme of the phrasing is, as I said, entirely the joke. > [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Kaylan and Volman were quite the irreverent types, though, so I can ride with that one. > > From “Elenore”: > _You’re my pride and joy, etc._ I love “Elenore” because they build the rhyme off the first syllable of the name, not the last: _El- -enore, gee I think you’re swell And you really do me well…_ As for “worst lyric rhymes”, Des’ree’s “Life” sometimes rhymes but at a terrible cost: _I’m afraid of the dark 'Specially when I’m in a park And there’s no one else around Ooh, I get the shivers I don’t want to see a ghost It’s a sight that I fear most I’d rather have a piece of toast And watch the evening news_ “Toast”. Seriously, those are not so much lyrics as a cry for help. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyric-rhymes/949876.md?page=10)