# Worst. Lyrics. EVAH! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 28, 2007, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465 "2007-12-28T14:09:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/41 "2007-12-28T19:02:59Z")
_“She’s like, so whatever”_. It just doesn’t get any better than that. ---
**Author:** ![bauble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@bauble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bauble)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/42 "2007-12-28T19:03:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Though I never will forget from where it is that I come from By John Cougar. Or John Cougar Mellencamp. Or John Mellencamp. It may not compare with these others, but it’s enough to make me change the station or turn off the radio when it comes on. (and **A Priori Tea** , you’re quickly becoming one of my favorite posters. Hope you’ll stick around) ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/43 "2007-12-28T19:04:52Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] How many of things on this list are your favorite: Raindrops on roses Whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles Warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings Cream colored ponies Crisp apple strudels Doorbells Sleigh bells Schnitzel with noodles Wild geese that fly with the moon on their winds. Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes Silver white winters that melt into Springs [/QUOTE] I’ll take the schnitzel, noodles, and apple strudels… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/44 "2007-12-28T19:08:47Z")
[QUOTE=Kizarvexius] I’ll take the schnitzel, noodles, and apple strudels… [/QUOTE] Started your New Year’s diet a few days early, did you? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/45 "2007-12-28T19:12:00Z")
_What if God was one of us Just a slob like one of us Just a stranger on the bus Trying to make his way home_ I think this song started out as an intersting idea, but the refrain and chorus just don’t work. ‘God’ and ‘slob’ don’t rhyme; and they’re in the middle of the line, setting up a pattern that the third line breaks. And if the rhyme is supposed to be on the end of the line, repeating the phrase “one of us” looks incredibly lazy. ---
**Author:** ![Octalcode](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Octalcode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octalcode)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/46 "2007-12-28T19:13:19Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Which version? [/QUOTE] All of them Richard Harris Donna Summer The Fifth Dimension Waylon Jennings Frank Sinatra Beggar’s Opera Hugo Montenegro The Queers The Negro Problem Glen Campbell Maynard Ferguson Stan Kenton Sammy Davis, Jr. Justin Hayward The Four Tops Stephen Adams Vic Damone Michael Feinstein The Three Degrees Liza Minnelli Ed Ames The Four Tops Madison Scouts Drum and Bugle Corps in several productions in the mid-1970s And there is a spanish version of this song (Palabra De Mujer) permormed in live by Mónica Naranjo in the 1990s. Did I miss any? ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/47 "2007-12-28T19:21:57Z")
Ihttp://www.lyricsfreak.com/c/cream/im+so+glad\_20034190.html Im so glad im so glad im glad im glad im glad etc ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/48 "2007-12-28T19:23:34Z")
[Gloria Lyrics - Van Morrison - Soundtrack Lyrics](http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/thesopranospeppersandeggs/gloria.htm) And then Gloria has writers seething jealously. ---
**Author:** ![ShadowFacts](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfacts/32/2934_2.png) [@ShadowFacts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadowFacts)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/49 "2007-12-28T19:27:05Z")
How the hell did this thread get so far along with no mention of _My Humps_? Is it just too obvious? [QUOTE=Black Eyed Peas] What you gon’ do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out) [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/50 "2007-12-28T19:32:52Z")
[QUOTE=A Priori Tea] Every single rock song ever that’s decided that the way to make a real impact is to say the same line or two over and over and over and over and over. [/QUOTE] I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. I’m getting closer to my home. 🙂 (Yeah, it really is repeated 29 times in “I’m Your Captain.” I counted once.) > [@Robot Arms](#): > > What if God was one of us How can you mention this song and forget the worst lines of all? “Nobody’s calling on the phone, 'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome.” Regarding other replies in this thread, I have just come to the conclusion that there is a definite correlation between songs about fat girls and bad lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/51 "2007-12-28T19:34:11Z")
Raindrops keep falling on my head And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed… What is this? A song about Sideshow Bob? ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/52 "2007-12-28T20:50:53Z")
I’m pretty sure I’ve got trump on this one. I present the legendary Rob Base: > [@](#): > > I wanna rock right now > I’m Rob Base and I came to get down > I’m not internationally known > But I’m known to rock a microphone > Because I get stupid, I mean outrageous > **Stay away from me, if you’re contagious** > 'Cause I’m the winner, no not a loser > To be an M.C. is what I **choose-uh** > Ladies love me, girls adore me > I mean, even the ones who never saw me > Like the way that I rhyme at a show > The reason why? Man, I don’t know! This song has it all: random, out-of-the-blue misophobia, mangling of the English language to rhyme “loser” with “choose-uh”, and wrapping it all up with an admission by the author that he has no clue why anyone would enjoy his lyrics. And for the record, I _love_ this song. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ro\_Carter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7feea3/32.png) [@Ro\_Carter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ro_Carter)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/53 "2007-12-28T21:01:39Z")
My personal un-favorite is the opening lyric from a Backstreet Boys song: _Empty spaces fill me up with holes_. Just hearing that will set me off ranting for the rest of the song. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/54 "2007-12-28T21:06:52Z")
“I like the Whopper! FUCK the Big Mac.” Brilliant. 90’s rap has some of the dumbest lyrics. **Digital Underground’s** _Humty Dance_ has some gems: > [@Humpty](#): > > I’m sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack > but sometimes I get ridiculous > I’ll eat up all your crackers and your licorice > hey yo fat girl, c’mere–are ya ticklish? And this line, which I’m simply cracking up at because I never realized he actually said it: > [@Humty](#): > > I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid, > I use a word that don’t mean nothin’, like looptid ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465/55 "2007-12-28T21:18:50Z")
The popularity of “It Takes Two” et. al. (Spin magazine’s best single of all time 😕 ) just shows why 99% of all rap is popular for the (stolen) sample, not the lyrics. I saw something on this duo once, and they said since they didn’t credit the sample, they got sued or otherwise had to pay big and earned nothing on the song, which is pretty funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-evah/431465.md?page=2)