# Worst Lyrics In Christendom (Thread #45464) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 29, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147 "2008-07-29T21:20:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/1 "2008-07-29T21:20:34Z")
Savage Garden’s Affirmation has to have the worst lyrics ever. I hope these lyrics were written by a robot whose first language wasn’t English. Either way they stink, they stink, they stink! _I believe the sun should never set upon an argument I believe we place our happiness in other people’s hands I believe that junk food tastes so good because it’s bad for you I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem I believe I’m loved when I’m completely by myself alone_ ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2008, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/2 "2008-07-29T21:25:59Z")
\*Cherish The Association Cherish is the word I use to describe All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I had told you You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could hold you You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could Mold you into someone who could Cherish me as much as I cherish you\* Starting with “You don’t know” it has a good melody, but those have to be some of the clumsiest lyrics ever for a hit song. It sounds almost like one of those “English to Hungarian back into English” examples. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/3 "2008-07-29T21:33:06Z")
[Folk Song Army](http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/folksong.htm) by Tom Lehrer. _The tune don’t have to be clever, And it don’t matter if you putacoupleextrasyllables into a line._😃 ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2008, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/4 "2008-07-29T22:21:25Z")
The worst? Easy. Because of the policies regarding lyrics I’ll spoiler these. And also because direct viewing without necessary protection can cause eyeball melting Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop Who put the dip in the dip-de-dip-de-dip Who was that man, I’d like to shake his hand He made my baby fall in love with me (yeah!) Although [spoiler]In the year 2525 If man is still alive If woman can survive They may find In the year 3535 Ain’t gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies Everything you think, do, or say Is in the pill you took today[/spoiler] Is definitely in the running. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2008, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/5 "2008-07-29T22:34:18Z")
I give you Runaway Love by Lucacris: _Now little lisa is only 9 years old Shes tryin to figure out why the world is so cold Why shes all all alone and they never met her family Mamas always gone and she never met her daddy Part of her is missin and nobody will listenin Mama is on drugs gettin high up in the kitchen Bringin home men at different hours of the night Startin with laughs–usually endin in a fight Sneak into her room while her mamas knocked out Tryin to have his way and little lisa says ‘ouch’ She tries to resist but then all he does is beat her Tries to tell her mom but her mama don’t believe her_ The lyrics get progressively worse for little Nicole, her friend Stacy, and little Erica. [http://www.completealbumlyrics.com/lyric/131098/Ludacris+-+Runaway+Love.html](http://www.completealbumlyrics.com/lyric/131098/Ludacris+-+Runaway+Love.html) ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2008, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/6 "2008-07-29T22:35:40Z")
[QUOTE=photopat] The worst? Easy. Because of the policies regarding lyrics I’ll spoiler these. And also because direct viewing without necessary protection can cause eyeball melting Although [spoiler]In the year 2525 If man is still alive If woman can survive They may find In the year 3535 Ain’t gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies Everything you think, do, or say Is in the pill you took today[/spoiler] Is definitely in the running. [/QUOTE] It is now officially your fault that I’m ordering the Cleopatra 2525 DVD’s from Amazon. And probably Jack of All Trades as well. Entirely your fault. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2008, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/7 "2008-07-29T22:43:12Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] It is now officially your fault that I’m ordering the Cleopatra 2525 DVD’s from Amazon. And probably Jack of All Trades as well. Entirely your fault. [/QUOTE] Heh. I worked on the packaging for Cleo. Never saw the show, but when your dvds arrive you can say “Photopat worked on the embossing.” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2008, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/8 "2008-07-29T23:48:32Z")
We gotta start from the start, only time will tell if we stand the test of time. Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain. You know they are a liar. And most Country songs, too. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/9 "2008-07-30T00:25:51Z")
Worst line in any song, ever, and it’s in many songs - “I know it’s crazy, but it’s true.” ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/10 "2008-07-30T00:50:20Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Worst line in any song, ever, and it’s in many songs - “I know it’s crazy, but it’s true.” [/QUOTE] Worse than “…and in this everchanging world in which we live in”? ---
**Author:** ![Ersatz\_Shmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@Ersatz\_Shmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ersatz_Shmoe)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/11 "2008-07-30T04:33:44Z")
I thought that line was “… in which we’re livin’”. That’s what it sounded like Axl was singing, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/12 "2008-07-30T05:08:50Z")
[QUOTE=Ersatz Shmoe] I thought that line was “… in which we’re livin’”. That’s what it sounded like Axl was singing, anyway. [/QUOTE] It was, even when Sir Paul first sang it. > [@](#): > > My my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender > Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny > In quite a sim’lar way > The history book on the shelf > Is always repeating itself … If only because Napoleon didn’t surrender at Waterloo. Lost the battle, yes, but retreated in relatively good order and didn’t abdicate for another 4 days, and then in Paris. ---
**Author:** ![Paige\_Turner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8797f3/32.png) [@Paige\_Turner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paige_Turner)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/13 "2008-07-30T06:10:05Z")
All from the same song (oh, my brain . . . ) Once upon a time I was falling in love But now I’m only falling apart Once upon a time there was light in my life But now there’s only love in the dark We’ll be holding on forever And we’ll only be making it right Cause we’ll never be wrong together We can take it to the end of the line Honestly - this post should just say “_Total Eclipse of the Heart_ - the whole thing”. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/14 "2008-07-30T12:14:22Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Worst line in any song, ever, and it’s in many songs - “I know it’s crazy, but it’s true.” [/QUOTE] There’s a whole set of “If you use this rhyme, I’m sorry but we’re going to have to shoot you” lyrics. eg: “Blah blah blah love, blah blah heaven above”, “Blah blah baby, blah blah maybe”. But it’s pretty hard to top “Boom boom boom boom/I want you in my room/Lets spend the night together/from now until forever” I also have to give a shout-out to “worst lyrics in an otherwise good song”: “Beat boys, fly girls, throw your hands in the air/Oh yeah like you just don’t care” I’m sory but I have NEVER seen anyone throw their hands in the air “like they just don’t care” and I bet you never did either. Stick their hands in their pockets and lean against the wall “like they just don’t care” - sure. Throwing their hands in the air is the bailliwick of people who DO care … about something, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/15 "2008-07-30T13:08:58Z")
I’ve yet to see anything that tops Des’ree’s _Life_ in sheer lyrical badness: \* I’m afraid of the dark Especially when I’m in a park […] I don’t want to see a ghost, It’s the sight that I fear most I’d rather have a piece of toast And watch the evening news. \* Really, the best line in that song is ‘doo doot doot doo’. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/16 "2008-07-30T15:38:45Z")
Why can’t people see the evil that is “Rock-a-bye Baby”? Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop When the wind blows, the cradle will rock When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall And down will come baby, cradle and all ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/17 "2008-07-30T16:09:15Z")
[QUOTE=Aspidistra] There’s a whole set of “If you use this rhyme, I’m sorry but we’re going to have to shoot you” lyrics. eg: “Blah blah blah love, blah blah heaven above”, “Blah blah baby, blah blah maybe”. [/QUOTE] Blah blah shake it Blah blah break it Blah blah fake it Blah blah make it Not necessarily in that order, but you get the idea. And for the 111th time, the line in “Live and Let Die” is “But **IF** this ever-changing world in which we’re livin’ makes you give in and cry…” ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/18 "2008-07-30T16:15:21Z")
_I am, I said, To noone there, And nobody heard me, Not even the chair Someone left the cake out in the rain, And I don’t think I can TAKE it, 'Cause it took so long to MAKE it, And I’ll never have that recipe again!_ ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/19 "2008-07-30T16:30:09Z")
I always think of this song [Angel by Shaggy](http://www.lyrics007.com/Shaggy%20Lyrics/Angel%20Lyrics.html). When I first heard it I thought it was a parody from Weird Al. > [@](#): > > Girl, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel > Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby > Shorty, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel > Girl, you’re my friend when I’m in need, lady ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147/20 "2008-07-30T17:31:10Z")
We’re this far into the thread without mentioning Rod Stewart? For sheer burning stupid, there’s: _Don’t say a word my virgin child Just let your inhibitions run wild_ For how not to woo a woman, there’s: _You’re an essay in glamour, please pardon the grammar, but you’re every schoolboy’s dream You’re Celtic United, but baby I’ve decided you’re the best team I’ve ever seen And there have been many affairs, many times I felt to leave But I bite my lip and turn around, 'cause you’re the warmest thing I ever found_ And for a combination of “ewww” and “whaa”, there’s: _They wake at dawn ’cos all the birds are singing Two total strangers but that ain’t what they’re thinking Outside it’s cold, misty and it’s raining They got each other neither one’s complaining He says I’m sorry but I’m out of milk and coffee Never mind sugar we can watch the early movie_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-christendom-thread-45464/458147.md?page=2)