# Worst lyrics in rock/pop music **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 2, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759 "2009-12-02T21:22:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/1 "2009-12-02T21:22:54Z")
I’ve written about many of these before, but I’d like others’ input. Some of the dumbest ever lyrics, IMO (with explanations [if requested] later, as I’m about to be called away from my desk): **Sting** , “Russians” **Rush** , “The Trees” (almost bad enough to make you dismiss libertarians out of hand) Richard Harris\*\*, “MacArthur Park” (of course) I’ve always thought a lot of early **Dylan** - the more folky/ **Woodie Guthrie** -wannabe stuff - was horrible, especially “Blowin’ in the Wind” and “Masters of War” Your picks? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/2 "2009-12-02T21:26:25Z")
Sting should get a special lifetime achievement award for bad lyrics. Even in his Police days, the more serious he tried to be the worse he was. “I will listen hard to your tuition. You will see it come to its fruition.” Huey Lewis and the News have some terrible lyrics too, but never seem to take themselves seriously, so they get a bit of a pass: “Don’t need money, don’t need fame - don’t need no _credit card_ to ride this train.” ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/3 "2009-12-02T21:50:43Z")
Train gets the award for shit like “Hey soul sister, aint that Mister Mister on the radio” So, not only do they shove some totally irrelevant word in their just so they can rhyme with “sister” but that irrelevant word is the name of an irrelevant pop band from 25 years ago. And from the same song: “I’m so obsessed my heart’s about to beat right out (of) my _untrimmed chest_”. Sweet Sally, did this tool really just reference his chest hair? Actually every song of theirs I’ve heard is full of these kinds of pearls of dreck. If this thread is still alive tomorrow I’ll share more pain with you. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/4 "2009-12-02T21:52:58Z")
One of the true gems that gets trotted out for these lists: **I Am…I Said** , by Neil Diamond: I am, I said To no one there And no one heard at all Not even the chair ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/5 "2009-12-02T22:00:33Z")
Anything from Nickelback. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/6 "2009-12-02T22:01:17Z")
There were plants and birds and rocks and things… In the desert, you can remember your name, 'cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/7 "2009-12-02T22:09:23Z")
It has to be MacArthur Park. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/8 "2009-12-02T22:09:34Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > I’ve written about many of these before, but I’d like others’ input. Some of the dumbest ever lyrics, IMO (with explanations [if requested] later, as I’m about to be called away from my desk): > > **Sting** , “Russians” Funny, I was just warbling along to this on YouTube the other day. I have to agree, it’s a real shame the lyrics are so stupid. Not just dated because they were relevant at the time: “Kruschev said this, Reagan said that - frankly, our politicians suck and all their trash talk is scary! So I hope they want a future for their kids as much as I do for mine, so we don’t blow the planet apart.” Okay, I can get on board with that basic premise, but Jebus, do the lyrics have to be so cheesy? Anyway, I can’t listen to Lady Gaga because P-p-p-p-p-p-p-polker Face is too stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/9 "2009-12-02T22:49:58Z")
Van Hagar always wins this contest for me: Only time will tell if we can stand the test of time. “Brilliant! Amazing! Now here’s your mop. I need a clean up on aisle 6.” ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/10 "2009-12-02T23:07:48Z")
How about Bob Seager and “Shame on the Moon?” “Until you’ve been beside a man you don’t know who he knows.” Wha-huh? ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/11 "2009-12-02T23:08:55Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Sting should get a special lifetime achievement award for bad lyrics. Even in his Police days, the more serious he tried to be the worse he was. Sting has had some excellent lyrics as well, though. All This Time was a really good song lyrically. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/12 "2009-12-02T23:28:15Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > Sting has had some excellent lyrics as well, though. All This Time was a really good song lyrically. As was “Synchronicity II”. I think his pretentious dreck far outweighs his gems, though. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/13 "2009-12-02T23:36:09Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Van Hagar always wins this contest for me: > > Only time will tell if we can stand the test of time. > > “Brilliant! Amazing! Now here’s your mop. I need a clean up on aisle 6.” Good call. I always thought how bad that one was, too, whenever I heard the song (which, mercifully, hasn’t been for ages). ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/14 "2009-12-02T23:51:34Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > I > Richard Harris\*\*, “MacArthur Park” (of course) Sorry, but “MacArthur Park” is poetry compared to Jim Webb’s other paean to LA geography, “Rosecrans Boulevard.” At least “MacArthur Park” rhymed. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/15 "2009-12-02T23:56:24Z")
Thin Lizzy: “Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak…_somewhere in this town_” ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/16 "2009-12-02T23:58:16Z")
I Got My Mind Set On You Don’t Worry be Happy ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/17 "2009-12-03T00:07:25Z")
Seems like a loaded question. I agree that Neil Peart is a terrible lyricist, but a dumb lyricist? He at least sounds like he’s read a book or two. I imagine that he would be an interesting person to talk to, and not just for tales of rock group debauchery. I’m not seeing the dumb. But back on the lyrics themselves, what is wrong with Huey Lewis’s “don’t need no credit card to ride this train”? Scans well, makes some sense, it’s not a bad lyric to me. ---
**Author:** ![kevlaw](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kevlaw/32/2281_2.png) [@kevlaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevlaw)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/18 "2009-12-03T00:10:04Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > **Sting** , “Russians” > **Rush** , “The Trees” (almost bad enough to make you dismiss libertarians out of hand) > Richard Harris\*\*, “MacArthur Park” (of course) > I’ve always thought a lot of early **Dylan** - the more folky/ **Woodie Guthrie** -wannabe stuff - was horrible, especially “Blowin’ in the Wind” and “Masters of War” I can go with MacArthur Park. There are far worse lyrics (where yo mama gone/chirpy chirpy cheep cheep) but MacArthur Park is probably the worst for a song that is trying so hard to be profound. But Russians? Really? I guess you had to be there but it really captured a sentiment that was in the air in Europe in 1985 (No Trident! No Cruise!). I love that song. I wasn’t there but Masters of War has a similar quality of capturing a moment in history. I can understand not liking the politics or MoW or Russians but bad lyrics? No way! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/19 "2009-12-03T00:13:49Z")
Limp Bizkit: _I did it all for the nookie The nookie So you can take that cookie And stick it up your yeah Stick it up your yeah Stick it up your yeah Stick it up your yeah_ That’s not the radio version. He really says “yeah” And my Gold standard for all these threads, Lil’ Wayne: _Swagger tighter than a yeast infection Fly go hard like geese erection_ ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/20 "2009-12-03T00:27:52Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > I Got My Mind Set On You . . . Yet without it we wouldn’t have **This Song Is Just Six Words Long** , which was hilarious. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759.md?page=2)