# Worst lyrics in rock/pop music **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 2, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759 "2009-12-02T21:22:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/21 "2009-12-03T00:27:53Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > “I’m so obsessed my heart’s about to beat right out (of) my _untrimmed chest_”. JESUS…H…CHRIST… WHAT AN AWFUL LINE! Oh God, that might take the cake for “worst lyric ever written,” right there. Why didn’t somebody else in the band try to veto that one??? ---
**Author:** ![kevlaw](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kevlaw/32/2281_2.png) [@kevlaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevlaw)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/22 "2009-12-03T00:30:56Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > Oh God, that might take the cake for “worst lyric ever written,” It would have taken the cake if someone had not left it out in the rain. ---
**Author:** ![kevlaw](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kevlaw/32/2281_2.png) [@kevlaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevlaw)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/23 "2009-12-03T00:32:17Z")
Stop the thread … I have it… “One is the loneliest number” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/24 "2009-12-03T00:33:18Z")
How about “I’m Kan, the Louis Vuitton Don / Bought my mom a purse, now she Louis Vuitton Mom.” Rhyming Louis Vuitton Don with Louis Vuitton Mom. Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/25 "2009-12-03T01:24:00Z")
Muskrat, muskrat. Candlelight… ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/26 "2009-12-03T01:35:01Z")
I will continue to submit to threads like this that the song [Green Eyed Lady](http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/homealone3/green-eyedlady.htm) by Sugarloaf is the rock song with the best groove and the most awful lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/27 "2009-12-03T01:42:40Z")
I love Zager & Evans but even I have to admit they have some ridiculous lyrics. In this particular case they’re so awful that they’re hilarious: _When he reached the age of nine, he killed a frog with a kitchen knife He broke the wing of a noble bird with a jagged rock his slingshot hurled When he reached the age of ten, he stole the neighbor’s Guinea hen Wrapped its beak in masking tape, it starved to death in 13 days_ and _Now Fred was a-comin’ home Discharged with a broken bone Climbed aboard his plane at nine And roared off into the clear blue sky And that’s where planes always fly_ … _Fred found a seat in row number two Sat himself down and loosened his boots Along came a problem with long short hair He said, “hey man, you’re settin’ in my chair” Fred got up, and hit the poor man Forgot about the cast he had on his hand Killed him dead in one clean blow It didn’t bother Fred too much, though_ from _Fred_ ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/28 "2009-12-03T02:00:52Z")
> [@Ximenean](#): > > Seems like a loaded question. I agree that Neil Peart is a terrible lyricist, but a dumb lyricist? He at least sounds like he’s read a book or two. I imagine that he would be an interesting person to talk to, and not just for tales of rock group debauchery. I’m not seeing the dumb. Neil Peart’s lyrics aren’t usually what I’d call “dumb”, but “The Trees” is an exception. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/29 "2009-12-03T02:04:57Z")
> [@kevlaw](#): > > I can go with MacArthur Park. There are far worse lyrics (where yo mama gone/chirpy chirpy cheep cheep) but MacArthur Park is probably the worst for a song that is trying so hard to be profound. > > But Russians? Really? > > I guess you had to be there but it really captured a sentiment that was in the air in Europe in 1985 (No Trident! No Cruise!). I love that song. > > I wasn’t there but Masters of War has a similar quality of capturing a moment in history. > > I can understand not liking the politics or MoW or Russians but bad lyrics? No way! Well, I was “there” in the sense that I was politically conscious in '85 (though in America, not Europe), but yeah, I’d say “Russians” is dumb. A simplistic appeal to emotion on the subject of geopolitics. And does anybody really need to “hope” the Russians love their children? I get the point, but it sounds like a 5th grader’s essay, to me. “Masters of War” I always think of for the line “when the fast bullets fly”. “Fast” bullets? There must have been a less moronic word that scanned, if he’d have just picked up a dictionary. ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/30 "2009-12-03T02:05:16Z")
The Steve Miller Band, with this awful rhyme: Abra-abra-cadabra. I wanna reach out and grab ya. Abra-abra-cadabra. Abracadabra. I also nominate this song for worst riff in rock/pop music. “na na NA… NA na na”. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/31 "2009-12-03T02:17:09Z")
> [@Anamorphic](#): > > The Steve Miller Band, with this awful rhyme: > > Abra-abra-cadabra. > I wanna reach out and grab ya. > > Abra-abra-cadabra. > Abracadabra. > > I also nominate this song for worst riff in rock/pop music. “na na NA… NA na na”. Yes, but what about how he rhymed “Texas” with “facts is”? Or does that leap right over bad into so-goofy-it-works territory? ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/32 "2009-12-03T02:28:07Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Yet without it we wouldn’t have **This Song Is Just Six Words Long** , which was hilarious. [It’s really 7…] [Shhhh!] ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/33 "2009-12-03T02:43:27Z")
Mmmmmmmm Bop I rest my case. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/34 "2009-12-03T03:11:07Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > Yes, but what about how he rhymed “Texas” with “facts is”? Or does that leap right over bad into so-goofy-it-works territory? You forgot how he also rhymed both of them with “taxes”, which, IMHO, pushes it into so-goofy-it-works. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/35 "2009-12-03T03:18:29Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > You forgot how he also rhymed both of them with “taxes”, which, IMHO, pushes it into so-goofy-it-works. I have always loved that rhyme in _Take The Money And Run_ and I think it’s a legitimately good rhyme, just a “broken” one. ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/36 "2009-12-03T03:56:22Z")
My blood’s so mad, feels like coagulating (“Eve of Destruction”) ---
**Author:** ![Pulp\_Friction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@Pulp\_Friction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pulp_Friction)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/37 "2009-12-03T04:36:06Z")
People, people, listen up! Have you not heard “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro? It is laugh-out-loud bad: She wrecked the car and she was sad And so afraid that I’d be mad But what the heck Though I pretended hard to be Guess you could say she saw through me And hugged my neck ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/38 "2009-12-03T04:43:41Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Yet without it we wouldn’t have **This Song Is Just Six Words Long** , which was hilarious. Made even funnier because it’s actually _seven_ words long ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/39 "2009-12-03T04:49:52Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > Made even funnier because it’s actually _seven_ words long The title is really rendered as “(This Song’s Just) Six Words Long.” But it’s kind of moot, seeing as how there are all of those other words that Yankovic sings during the course of the song. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/40 "2009-12-03T04:57:22Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Sorry, but “MacArthur Park” is poetry compared to Jim Webb’s other paean to LA geography, “Rosecrans Boulevard.” At least “MacArthur Park” rhymed. Someone wrote about Rosecrans Boulevard??? I only know it from, oh, Compton to Buena Park, but pray tell what kind of inspiration is that street? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759.md?page=3)