# Worst lyrics in rock/pop music **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 2, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759 "2009-12-02T21:22:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Pulp\_Friction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@Pulp\_Friction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pulp_Friction)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/41 "2009-12-03T04:57:30Z")
Also: Elton John: \*“If I was a sculptor, but, then again, no.” \*America: \*“There were plants and birds and rocks and things.” \* ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/42 "2009-12-03T05:00:51Z")
I humbly submit the lyrics of my favorite artist of all time, Madonna. (from a good song, Mother and Father): > [@](#): > > My mother died when I was 5 > And all I did was sit and cry > I cried and cried and cried all day > Until the neighbors went away > > … > My father had to go to work > I used to think he was a jerk So compelling. :rolleyes: ETA: Oh, and more from my other favorite artist: > [@](#): > > I think, er no, I mean, er yes, but it’s all wrong > That is I think it’s not too bad Shame on you if you don’t know where that’s from! ---
**Author:** ![Goofus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7feea3/32.png) [@Goofus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goofus)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/43 "2009-12-03T05:19:07Z")
Is there gas in the car? Yes, there’s gas in the car. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/44 "2009-12-03T06:42:23Z")
I guess the members of Toto were clergy because they were blessing the rains down in Africa. I wish I could take some time to do the things I never have. Despite this post, I actually like the song :o ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/45 "2009-12-03T07:08:16Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > I guess the members of Toto were clergy because they were blessing the rains down in Africa. > > I wish I could take some time to do the things I never have. > > Despite this post, I actually like the song :o You will LOVE [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05ip-N0H1Ig) then. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/46 "2009-12-03T07:45:57Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > You will LOVE [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05ip-N0H1Ig) then. What makes you think that? ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/47 "2009-12-03T07:57:30Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > What makes you think that? Ok, nevermind. Sorry I mentioned it. ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/48 "2009-12-03T07:59:25Z")
Surely thre must be a submission from KISS, I would assume! ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/49 "2009-12-03T08:07:56Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > Ok, nevermind. Sorry I mentioned it. I didn’t mean it like that. Anyway, even though I didn’t like the singing, the rain sound effects were good. Another song I’d like to submit: [Down Down](http://www.lyricsdownload.com/bachmanturner-overdrive-down-down-lyrics.html) by **BTO**. Another song full of stupid lyrics, but I like it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/50 "2009-12-03T08:16:45Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > And does anybody really need to “hope” the Russians love their children? There was some survey floating around at the time (don’t make me dig up a cite from 25 years ago) showing that a significant proportion of Americans believed that Russians loved their children less than Americans did. So yeah, obviously people \*did \*need to hope that. I totally got the point of the song… wouldn’t be a huge fan of it, but I definitely wouldn’t put it in the “dumb lyrics” category. I mean compare it to that Culture Club song that goes _War, war is stupid_ - yeah, stunning insight George :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/51 "2009-12-03T08:30:44Z")
> [@Goofus](#): > > Is there gas in the car? Yes, there’s gas in the car. That’s become a very popular line. When the Dan performs _Kid Charlemagne_ live, they let the audience sing the answer – which it always does. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/52 "2009-12-03T13:38:31Z")
The Piano Man’s full of them: “And he’s talkin’ with Davy who’s still in the navy And probably will be for life” What, like a career in the navy is some kind of embarrasment or punishment or something? ---
**Author:** ![Martha\_Medea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@Martha\_Medea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martha_Medea)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/53 "2009-12-03T14:20:03Z")
**Many Happy Returns** by **ABC** Like the phoenix coming back from the ashes I know what’s good but I know what trash is ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/54 "2009-12-03T14:25:39Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > I guess the members of Toto were clergy because they were blessing the rains down in Africa. > > I wish I could take some time to do the things I never have. > > Despite this post, I actually like the song :o And from the same song: I know that I must do what’s right As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serrrrr-engeti ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/55 "2009-12-03T14:32:43Z")
As promised, more cack from Train: “Can you imagine no love, pride, _deep fried chicken_ Your best friend always sticking up for you even when you know you’re wrong” Fried chicken is now on a par with love & pride? These dudes will apparently stick anything in a song to make a rhyme. One that has always bugged me, apart from Billy Corgan’s dead cat’s ass of a whiny voice is the line from " Disarm" “I used to be a little boy”. When I finally got around to looking up the full lyrics I found out the next part of it is “so old in my shoes” which makes it a _little_ better in context, but the line alone just sounds stupid as all hell. The next line, “What I choose is my choice” is unforgivable, though. Add me to the (short) list of people who love the song “Russians”, though I think if the music wasn’t so evocative the lyrics would be kind of silly. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/56 "2009-12-03T16:10:26Z")
There are, of course, countless horrible lyrics in obscure rock and pop songs. If we stick to hits, then the one I always think of, the one that for me stands out above the crowd, is this couplet from Sonny and Cher’s “Beat Goes On”: ``` * And men still keep on marching off to war Electrically they keep a baseball score* ``` That second line – I guess it’s the combination of the tortured phrasing and the fact that the songwriter is attempting to make a point about the craziness of modern life by citing (a) perhaps the greatest tragedy of human history and (b) electric baseball signs. Pure gold! If we venture into obscure songs, then I submit this, from “Dandelions” by Friend & Lover. Please imagine it being delivered with great earnestness and a sense of profundity. ``` * What if a dandelion could talk? We'd be so careful where we'd walk! Maybe a dandelion would say "Please be my friend today."* ``` Or maybe a dandelion would say, “OW!! SON OF A BITCH!!! PICK UP YOUR GODDAMN FEET, ASSHOLE!!!” ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/57 "2009-12-03T16:27:54Z")
I’ll trot out the same stanza I always do for these threads, from “Athena” by The Who: _Consumed, there was a beautiful white horse I saw in a dream stage He had a snake the size of a sewer pipe living in his rib cage And I felt like a pickled priest that was being flambed You got me requisitioned, blondie_ WTF, Pete? ---
**Author:** ![Headrush042](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Headrush042](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Headrush042)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/58 "2009-12-03T16:33:12Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Well, I was “there” in the sense that I was politically conscious in '85 (though in America, not Europe), but yeah, I’d say “Russians” is dumb. A simplistic appeal to emotion on the subject of geopolitics. And does anybody really need to “hope” the Russians love their children? I get the point, but it sounds like a 5th grader’s essay, to me. I always read that as a swipe against the leaders of America and Britain demonizing the Russians, as opposed to a simplistic appeal to our basic humanity. In fact, the message I took away from that song was that the Russians weren’t the “bad guys” of the cold war, the politicians were (on both sides). I didn’t think it was dumb at all. When I read this thread title, Alanis Morisette immediately sprang to mind, but after reading through I’ve decided there’s far, far worse! ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/59 "2009-12-03T17:23:22Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I love Zager & Evans but even I have to admit they have some ridiculous lyrics. How about the following from “In the Year 2525”: _Now it’s been ten thousand years Man has cried a billion tears_ Actually, if you think about it, Man probably cries a billion tears every two or three weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759/60 "2009-12-03T17:40:09Z")
I always get a giggle out of The Warrior, by Scandal: You talk, talk, you talk to me Your eyes touch me physically Ewww. Not to mention shootin’ at the walls of heartache, bang bang! > [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > Muskrat, muskrat. Candlelight… Whoa, whoa! You win the thread, okay? Let’s just…stop right there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-lyrics-in-rock-pop-music/519759.md?page=4)