# Worst movie cop-outs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 10, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926 "2005-09-10T02:11:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/81 "2005-09-13T00:41:00Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Well, that makes all _kinds_ of sense. See, “merkins” are well-known for their tendency to genital baldness resulting from malnutrition or genetic defect, while “furriners” take pride in their carefully cultivated and luxuriously furry pubic mats. Everybody knows that 99% of all merkins ever used have been sold within the contintental United States. > > How silly of me to have thought that they were both ironic lampoons of a regional accent often associated with a peculiar nationalism that borders on religiosity. 😉 You see, you’re making the mistake of thinking the insult MADE SENSE. My objection to it was that it DIDN’T. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/82 "2005-09-13T00:53:00Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > Anyway, I’ve often heard that the film **Fatal Attraction** as released in theatres had a tacked-on remade ending (in which Anne Archer shoots Glenn Close, thus ending all problems.) Originally, in the scene after Douglas breaks into Close’s apartment, threatens her with a knife, then leaves, Close’s character initially killed herself with the knife. But, since Douglas’s fingerprints were on the blade of the knife, and a mountain of extenuating circumstances, he ends up going to jail for her murder. Thus, the original ending had the evil bitch triumphing even in death. The released ending showed Douglas, Archer (and by extension the Rockellian nuclear family) walking away from it all. Awwww. > > I wish they’d had the guts to release the original ending to this. Didn’t the original ending ALSO have a cop-out (the wife is shown going to the police at the very end with the evidence that will clear her husband, after a brief internal debate about whether he’s worth saving)? Also, I don’t mind “cop-out” endings being called on account of overall theme or logic, but in some of these cases, it seems like you’ve got two perfectly plausible endings, and one of them is being preferred _just because_ it’s the “depressing” one. Is that really fair? I mean, it’s like some folks think a story can’t be “deep” or “relevant” without having a tragic result, and I just don’t think that’s true. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/83 "2005-09-13T01:30:57Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Not that I’m in the middle of reading that book or anything. Dammit. ☹ Sorry 'bout that. I really shoulda spoilerboxed it. On the other hand, if my revelation of the _Da Vinci Copout_ is going to ruin the book for you, the ending of the book was also going to ruin the book for you, so you were going to get there sooner or later. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/84 "2005-09-13T01:45:10Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > You see, you’re making the mistake of thinking the insult MADE SENSE. My objection to it was that it DIDN’T. Well ok…why didn’t it? Because “ironic lampoons of a regional accent often associated with a peculiar nationalism that borders on religiosity” is pretty much what I was going for and Larry did seem to get that out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/85 "2005-09-13T02:03:17Z")
Somehow, the ending of _The Iron Giant_ didn’t bother me. I really liked the image of the Giant’s bits and pieces, perhaps scattered over half the world, gradually making their way to join his head and put themselves back together.I probably wouldn’t have written it that way, but somehow it didn’t seem like a cheat to me. At least it wasn’t logically inconsistent with what we’d been shown earlier. I really liked the movie _Tears of the Sun_, but Bruce Willis’ character should have died at the end, along with the rest of his unit, all doing the best thing they’ve ever done. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/86 "2005-09-13T02:24:33Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > You see, you’re making the mistake of thinking the insult MADE SENSE. My objection to it was that it DIDN’T. Sorry to continue this hijack, but I think it’s hilarious. **RikWriter** , “merkin” doesn’t make sense if you assume a connection to pubic wigs, but it makes perfect sense if you ignore that coincidence and only think about why people actually say “merkin.” If you’re getting hung up on the accidental homograph, look at all the variants: [I guess I wanna “bah Amurkin” too.](http://groups.google.com/group/rec.music.synth/msg/6605a82ec163f5cf?dmode=source&hl=en) [I see you Awzies have taken to using the L-word too. That good ole Amurkin kultcha, huh?](http://groups.google.com/group/alt.flame/msg/96789263b198392e?dmode=source&hl=en) [I can’t actually imagine a bunch of Aussies lining up to hassle the Amerkin tourists, but I suppose the Tourism Authority wanted to be safe.](http://groups.google.com/group/alt.flame/msg/fa1d1eb375f5c09c?dmode=source&hl=en) [“Ah monly drivin 50 mahls pur air” (Amerkin)](http://groups.google.com/group/bit.listserv.hellas/msg/8adb536d6ab7ebd7?dmode=source&hl=en) [I think it’s time for white-trash America to put down that quart of beer, take that cigarette outta their mouths, git their butts off that couch and demand that we all talk “Murkin.”](http://groups.google.com/group/ba.transportation/msg/751c45fa7c20485d?dmode=source&hl=en) [I’ve been hearing variations of “Murrican” all my life, but rarely saw it in print. When I have seen it, it was spelled “Merkin.” To my ear, “Merkin” is closer to the way real, live, mush-mouthed Americans pronounce the word.](http://groups.google.com/group/rec.crafts.textiles.needlework/msg/14afde817224adfe?dmode=source&hl=en) This last is why it is usually rendered as “merkin” in print. It’s just the closest way to render it phonetically. And that’s what it’s all aboot. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/87 "2005-09-13T03:58:22Z")
_Changing Lanes._ The first, oh, hour and twenty-five minutes is pretty good. Not brilliant, necessarily, but pretty good: morally ambiguous, shades of gray stuff. Implausible, but even-handed and thought-provoking.And it should have ended with the scene showing Jackson in Affleck’s office, returning the document. The dialogue shows the relationship between the characters is still tense but that they mutually understand they’ve both fucked up, and there will be consequences they can no longer control. If they’d rolled credits right there, it would have hovered between three and three-and-a-half stars. But no: Affleck has such a change of heart that he goes on to fix Jackson’s life and break with his prospective in-laws. Grrr. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/88 "2005-09-13T12:29:56Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > ☹ > > Sorry 'bout that. I really shoulda spoilerboxed it. > > On the other hand, if my revelation of the _Da Vinci Copout_ is going to ruin the book for you, the ending of the book was also going to ruin the book for you, so you were going to get there sooner or later. Eh, s’allright. I usually go read spoilers for everything anyway - I don’t tend to for books, but I can’t say it bothers me much. ---
**Author:** ![zeldarae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/f14d63/32.png) [@zeldarae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zeldarae)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/89 "2005-09-13T18:01:12Z")
Regarding **The Bad Seed** , my drama class did the play when I was in 9th grade (myself in the title role - he he). the mother gives the little girl and herself some “vitamins” before going to bed that night. She even reads her daughter to “sleep.” My mother always said I was typecast. ---
**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/90 "2005-09-13T18:01:49Z")
I have to agree about Stephen King’s novels–he just doesn’t do endings well. But, I love his short stories. They’re usually creepy and don’t pull any punches. Maybe because he doesn’t have time to get too attached to his characters to kill them off if the story needs that. One movie that was almost good was One Hour Photo. Then it got to the end and revealed that [spoiler]he was sexually abused as a child and that was why he did everything that he did. It would have been a much creepier movie if there were no reason for it. No explanation is, IMO, more frightening.[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/91 "2005-09-13T18:47:59Z")
> [@](#): > > This shows that yes, Kevin made a different choice, but he’s still so prideful that it will still bring him down, the devil will have to just use another way, but it’s not over. I think it was a fitting ending because after all that happened, Kevin never changed deep down. When I saw that, I said outloud to my friends, “Well, that’s just mean.” I don’t think that was neccesarily the meaning of the ending to the Devil’s Advocate. Realistically, there will never be an easy, simple way to get Satan to stop bothering him. There will always be new temptations to avoid. This is the point. Evil is always waiting and won’t go away because we won once. But it also doesn’t that Satan will win; that’s up to Kevin [Keanu Reeves’ character]. In fact, the ending as given is decidedly unambiguous. But I guess it’s unambiguous in an ambiguous way, if that makes any sense. Well, anyway, that’s what I think the meaning was intended to be, but maybe the dircertor’s just wanted the classic horror movie, “but it’s not really over!” scene at the end. > [@](#): > > As much as it pains me to say it, don’t get me started on Luke falling to his death in Empire Strikes Back…except he’s saved b/c he falls into a slightly angled tube, which cushioned the fall in such a way that…actually I’m not sure why it didn’t kill him. That wasn’t a copout. Luke wasn’t particularly angling to die. He just needed to get away, and fast. In theory, that tube was supposed to have strong gusts as part of the air filtration system. Besides, he’s a Jedi. They regularly fall long distances with no injury. Anyway, I might be being to harsh on that Bablyon 5 episode, but I’m not a huge fan of certain branches of exrtemely literal Christianity, either. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/92 "2005-09-13T19:21:39Z")
> [@smiling bandit](#): > > That wasn’t a copout. Luke wasn’t particularly angling to die. He just needed to get away, and fast. In theory, that tube was supposed to have strong gusts as part of the air filtration system. Besides, he’s a Jedi. They regularly fall long distances with no injury. I thought for sure that Luke meant to fall to his death in that scene. Hear receives the Earth shattering news, then declares “I’ll never join you!”. Plus the look on his face as he lets go is someone resolved to his fate; not someone who just wants a quick getaway. As for the long fall, well, that’s one LUCKY Jedi, compared, to, say, the Emperor’s fall to his death. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/93 "2005-09-13T20:38:08Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > I’ve always heard it was intended to invoke the meaning of merkin as pubic wig. YMMV. Not even the Master can say with confidence exactly what the word means. [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3\_232.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_232.html) ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/94 "2005-09-13T21:44:47Z")
…Or Cop-Outs that worked quite well Buffalo 66Billy’s reconsidered assasination of Scott Norwood Funny GamesThe mindfuck rewinding of Anna’s shotgun revenge ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/95 "2005-09-13T21:52:39Z")
> [@moonstarssun](#): > > One movie that was almost good was One Hour Photo. Then it got to the end and revealed that > > [spoiler]he was sexually abused as a child and that was why he did everything that he did. > > It would have been a much creepier movie if there were no reason for it. No explanation is, IMO, more frightening.[/spoiler] Probably, but I can imagine most moviegoers complaining about the dangling thread if that had happened. People want explainations. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/96 "2005-09-14T07:46:19Z")
It’s already been somewhat mentioned, but I do get pissed at any movie where a a main character is killed off, only to be shortly brought back to life. Why? It’s cheating. You do it to get an emotional response from their death, but then you still want to use the character, so you bring them back in some contrived way. No. If you wanted to use them some more, you shouldn’t have killed them. Just one of the many things I hated about Star Trek 10. It also pissed me off when they pulled it in Dungeons and Dragons(though that was a pretty bad movie anyway), Sgt. Peppers and Final Fantasy 2(Almost everyone who “died” turned out to still be alive somewhere. Makes you stop caring about their “sacrifice” after the 2nd time they pulled it). Though I make exceptions for shows/movies/games where dying and returning to life/being replaced is part of the premise(South Park, Battlestar Galatica, Planescape: Torment). Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruger get a pass because that’s par for the course for such movies. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/97 "2005-09-14T09:53:40Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > It also pissed me off when they pulled it in Dungeons and Dragons(though that was a pretty bad movie anyway)… Dungeons And Dragons was a pretty bad movie in the same way that the Hindenburg was a pretty big bang. ---
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/98 "2005-09-14T10:43:17Z")
> [@HubZilla](#): > > “Eye for an Eye” Sally Field is tempted to use her gun to kill Keifer Sutherland pre-emptively. Then the guys arrives and gives her no choice and she kills in self-defense. It’s been a while since I saw the movie, but I got the impression she deliberately lured him to her house to attack her so she would have the excuse of killing him in “self-defense”. > [@Marley23](#): > > Any number of romantic movies, usually comedies, where a woman is inexplicably paired with an unappreciative jerk so she can leave him for a nice guy. Can’t have her leave a good guy for someone else who she prefers; somebody would feel bad. The other guy has to be a total cretin. One exception to this (that I can think of; there may be others) is _Sleepless in Seattle_. Bill Pullman’s character was kind of annoying, but a sweet guy nonetheless. > [@Art Vandelay](#): > > Anyway, I’ve often heard that the film **Fatal Attraction** as released in theatres had a tacked-on remade ending (in which Anne Archer shoots Glenn Close, thus ending all problems.) Originally, in the scene after Douglas breaks into Close’s apartment, threatens her with a knife, then leaves, Close’s character initially killed herself with the knife. But, since Douglas’s fingerprints were on the blade of the knife, and a mountain of extenuating circumstances, he ends up going to jail for her murder. Thus, the original ending had the evil bitch triumphing even in death. The released ending showed Douglas, Archer (and by extension the Rockellian nuclear family) walking away from it all. Awwww. > > I wish they’d had the guts to release the original ending to this. I still haven’t seen that ending, but I read about it a year or so ago and I seem to remember that after Michael Douglas is arrested, Anne Archer finds some piece of evidence that proves he’s innocent. It ends with her heading off to the police station to turn the evidence in. I remember this because I’d heard that it ended the way you described and was kind of disappointed that, in a way, it still ended well for the protagonist. The reason, though, that they didn’t release the original ending was that test audiences _hated_ it. At least now, we can see it on DVD. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/99 "2005-09-14T19:50:32Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > Dungeons And Dragons was a pretty bad movie in the same way that the Hindenburg was a pretty big bang. Well, two scenes were good, but the problem is, they had both been ripped straight from other movies. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926/100 "2005-09-15T01:30:22Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Though I make exceptions for shows/movies/games where dying and returning to life/being replaced is part of the premise(South Park, Battlestar Galatica, Planescape: Torment). Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruger get a pass because that’s par for the course for such movies. Does LOTR get a pass? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-cop-outs/320926.md?page=6)