# Worst Movie Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 23, 2001, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351 "2001-01-23T03:01:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/81 "2001-01-27T01:50:29Z")
Oh, Sattua – not “Clash of the Titans”! Not only am I a big Harryhausen fan, I have a special interest in that story of Perseus and Medusa. Ask anybody. If you’re looking for bad animated flicks there are a LOT of candidates indisputably worse than COTT. Look up “Jack the Giant Killer”, or any of the Rankin Bass productions (Rank and Base, I call 'em), or Ralph Bakshi’s “Wizards”. Or his best left forgotten “Lord of the Rings”. Or “The Crater Lake Monster” or “Laserblast” or “Starcrash” or … ahhh, there are just too many of them. ---
**Author:** ![Smitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Smitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smitty)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/82 "2001-01-27T03:06:20Z")
I may be the only person in America to have seen it, but **The Barbarians** has to be on this particular heap. To this day, I don’t know if it was the worst sword and sorcery picture ever, or the best and most subtle parody of sword and sorcery pictures ever ---
**Author:** ![DonQuixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@DonQuixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonQuixote)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/83 "2001-01-27T18:23:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ura-Maru \* > \*\* > > I CAN be justified in adding _the Fifth Element,_ though. How the hell can you make a live action Heavy Metal-esque movie boring? > > \*\* I happened to enjoy _The Fifth Element_ very much. I didn’t find it boring at all. There is a movie I haven’t even seen yet but already hate. Some of you have probably seen the commercials. Its called _MVP: Most Valuable Primate._ From what I can tell, a boy on a struggling pee-wee hockey team somehow finds a chimp that can play hockey. I caught the name of the hockey team too. You guessed it, _The Chimps._ Why do people bother with this crap? ---
**Author:** ![Orbifold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orbifold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orbifold)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/84 "2001-01-27T21:50:27Z")
I once sat through a Russian piece of dreck called _The Zone_. Part of the problem was the fact that it wasn’t completely translated; every once in a while a character would say a line and there would be no translation at all. But even once you got past the language barrier, the thing was awful. Let me try to summarize the plot: in the middle of Moscow there is “The Zone”, an area filled with supposedly deadly traps. At the center of “The Zone” is “The Room”, and if you get to “The Room”, you get to make a wish. So there’s this guy who makes a living smuggling people through “The Zone” to “The Room”. Why is this guy braving these incredibly deadly traps over and over when he has access to “The Room”? Lord only knows. Unfortunately, this film has _no_ special effects budget whatsoever, so we never get to see any of these deadly traps. The entire movie consists of the guide and three other people walking around, and every once in a while someone will say “My God! You nearly set off a trap and got us all killed horribly!”. Then they go into a 15-minute speech about something. Finally after about two hours of this, they get to “The Room”. One of the people, a scientist, tries to blow up “The Room” for reasons which are never adequately explained, using one of those handy pocket-sized atomic bombs that look exactly like a length of pipe, but the others stop him. Then the three men and the guide decide to…wait for it…_NOT GO INTO THE DAMN ROOM!_ Sorry, that still bugs me…I sat through two hours of that crap, and they _didn’t go into the #$$@#$%% room!!!_. Then they all leave “The Zone”, and the guide’s wife makes a 10-minute speech about how she hates the guide’s job, and then it’s revealed that the guide’s daughter has telekinetic powers and the movie ends. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/85 "2001-01-28T19:00:44Z")
New candidate… the Dungeons and Dragons movie. Being a player, having played for years, having had some amazing times playing this game, I built up some hopes. I valiantly tried to ignore the fact that it had a Wayans. I went in hoping to see some of the fantasy and spectacle I associate with the game. What I got was a bald guy in periwinkle lipstick (one of the Three Effeminate Villains With No Motivation Whatsoever), a nonexistent script, cheesy special effects, and no relation whatsoever to the game. But the discussion dissecting it in the Denny’s thereafter was fun. Also, if you’re into getting friends together and dissing a really awful film, try **Steele Justice**. A real stinker. Here’s the plot outline from IMDB: "Steele is ex-cop and Vietnam vet who is determined to bring down Kwan, former South Vietnamese general and now rich and powerful drug lord. " As you might suspect, a movie made of cliches, lame action sequences, non-stars, and general silliness. ---
**Author:** ![mighty\_maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@mighty\_maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mighty_maxx)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/86 "2001-01-28T19:46:14Z")
**Steel Magnollias** , Good god I hated that movie…but everyone else loved it…they’re all sheep I tell ya, sheep 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![brido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@brido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brido)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/87 "2001-01-28T20:43:51Z")
chasing amy is about as bad as it gets. ben affleck wants stabbing and that girl with the squeaky voice is unspeakably annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/88 "2001-01-29T02:10:03Z")
Left Behind It has been out on video for about three months now. I have yet to see it and will in all probibility never see it. It is by its advertising,a Funde film. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/89 "2001-01-29T03:40:32Z")
I agree with Left Behind. It’s a horrible movie. I have all the books. I like the books, they’re not the greatest, but they are good. The movie ruined the book. It was shallow, too short, and had hardly any prophecy. It’s supposed to be about the tribulation, but I really didn’t notice anything! The producers tried to make it into pop culture and that destroyed it. It’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, though. That goes to Urban Legend. What a sick excuse for a movie. I won’t even try to explain how bad it was. The next one is Friday the Thirteenth parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. I can get through 1, but the rest are all exactly the same. I’ve only seen half of them and I know they are all bad. I can probably think of some more later. ---
**Author:** ![Oblong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c0e974/32.png) [@Oblong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblong)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/90 "2001-01-29T05:10:18Z")
I haven’t read the entire thread but I think the worst movie ever made was Armageddon. We rented the movie and about halfway through just couldn’t take it anymore. What a waste of money. When you are talking about bad movies, I think relativity has to be emphasized. A movie with this budget, star power, and hype better be good. Ben Affleck gets more annoying in every movie. Steve Buscemi-come on! I expected better of you. Hopefully this was just an excuse to make some $$ so you can do the work youreally want to do. Liv Tyler? Horrible. And don’t think you fooled anybody, we heard the faint Aerosmith songs every time she came on camera. The action was dizzying. The storyline was stretched beyond any reason, even for science fiction. I think Roger Ebert said it best when he felt like he was in the middle of a pinball machine. Absolute piece of gargabe. Typical of Hollywood. Throw a crappy script out there but put some big stars on it and the sheep will come. Who cares about quality. ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/91 "2001-01-29T06:15:07Z")
Well, it may not be the _worst_ movie ever made, but **Caligula** certainly deserves to be mentioned here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie with as much gore and nudity as it had, and it was all incredibly boring! Fortunately, HBO showed a severly edited version (only 1:40, which means they cut out nearly an _hour_ of material). I don’t even know why I left it on, I guess I just had to see how bad it was for myself. What were Peter O’Toole and John Gielgud thinking? ---
**Author:** ![Oblong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c0e974/32.png) [@Oblong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblong)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/92 "2001-01-29T17:44:13Z")
I read where O’Toole and the other guy didn’t realize it would be as graphic. That was added after all their scenes were shot. ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/93 "2001-01-29T20:14:13Z")
That’s good to hear. That movie’s gotta be one of the worst things I’ve ever seen, and I just couldn’t understand why two such talented, classically-trained actors would have anything to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![shimmery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@shimmery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shimmery)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2001, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/94 "2001-01-30T01:15:13Z")
I forgot one… Magnolia. (with Tom Cruise, William H. Macy, Julianne Moore) It was TERRIBLE!!! Did I just not get it? ---
**Author:** ![frodosteve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e19adc/32.png) [@frodosteve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frodosteve)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/95 "2001-01-30T03:15:49Z")
The worst I have seen: Caligula - Disgusting Look Who’s Talking II - Hideous forced cuteness Jaws 3D - Underwater 3D; I couldn’t see a thing Showgirls - Too bad to even enjoy its badness Scary Movie - I hated it, but a lot of people must disagree ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/96 "2001-01-30T03:43:26Z")
chu chu and the philly flash as good as it gets (bite me, i hated it) forrest gump (see above) terror train club paradise spies like us ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/97 "2001-01-30T04:06:15Z")
I’d like to toss a vote in for “Executive Decision,” with Kurt Russell and Steven Seagal. Not only was it cliched and supremely dumb, but it was offensively racist as well. They did kill Seagal off early, though. ---
**Author:** ![Speleophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Speleophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speleophile)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/98 "2001-01-30T04:22:13Z")
This 1981 stinker tried to bring back 3D. It was absolutely mind-numbingly boring. Worse, they jacked up the 3D effect, probably by spacing the cameras too far apart. The only thing that will give you a headache faster than having depth perception out to 300 yards is using it to perceive inane, stupid lines delivered by bad actors. This movie’s **only** redeeming value was turning around and seeing the whole audience wearing those dorky cardboard glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/99 "2001-01-30T04:22:46Z")
I think **Blue Velvet** is the greatest movie ever made. The worst movie I’ve ever paid to see was **Grease 2**. I would say it was **E.T.** , but my grandparents paid for me to see that. ---
**Author:** ![Speleophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Speleophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speleophile)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351/100 "2001-01-30T04:27:18Z")
**Ple** ase dis **regard th** redundant _b **ol** d_ marks [in my prior post]. **i** t’ **s** lat **e** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-ever/51351.md?page=6)