# Worst Movie Lines **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 1, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256 "2000-10-01T17:48:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/21 "2000-10-03T01:48:11Z")
**Billy Jack** “…I…just…go…ber…ZERK!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/22 "2000-10-03T02:11:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > I can explain the parsec thing-it meant finding a SHORT CUT, since you have to go near the Maw-a black hole cluster to GET to Kessel. (Yes, I read the novels, dammit!) Another explanation (from [http://us.imdb.com/Goofs?0076759](http://us.imdb.com/Goofs?0076759) ) > [@](#): > > Incorrectly regarded as goofs: Han Solo claims that the Millennium Falcon “made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs” when asked how fast the ship is. Parsecs are a measure of distance, not time, and thus either he is wrong or is using some form of slang. Some reports have director George Lucas claiming that this was done deliberately to show that Han Solo didn’t always know what he was talking about. Other explanations have been offered, but they typically rely on material not presented in the film. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/23 "2000-10-03T02:27:20Z")
> [@](#): > > FYI: The Kessel Run was not a race for time. It was a race for distance. I can’t remember where to find an after-the-fact explanation of it, but I’m sure there are plenty of Dopers who can. > [@](#): > > I can explain the parsec thing-it meant finding a SHORT CUT, since you have to go near the Maw-a black hole cluster to GET to Kessel. (Yes, I read the novels, dammit!) > [@](#): > > Other explanations have been offered, but they typically rely on material not presented in the film. I think the last quote got it. There is nothing in the film to indicate that Solo was talking about anything but time. In the context of the film, as the line was presented, it was a goof. ---
**Author:** ![DavisMcDavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@DavisMcDavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavisMcDavis)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/24 "2000-10-03T03:02:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blessedwolf \* > The worst movie line IMHO was from “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” The final line, when Nancy-Boy said “We’s better go inside. It’s raining.” Andie MacDowell (sp?) said, in a tone that should have gotten her kicked out of the SAG, “Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” \*\* Definitely without a doubt you are absolutely correct, that is in fact the most poorly delivered and ill-fitting lines in movie history. ---
**Author:** ![Amok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Amok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amok)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/25 "2000-10-03T03:40:15Z")
A bit off-topic, since it’s not a line from a movie, but **The Mummy’s Shroud** has one of the worst taglines ever: _Beware the beat of the cloth-wrapped feet!_ ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/26 "2000-10-03T03:44:57Z")
bad kung-fu movies are great places for stuff like this. Was watching one years ago with my Dad, Saturday afternoons, the new Fox affiliate here had Kung-Fu theater. Hysterical. Anyway, they have the usual fight going, then the villian stops, poses, and tosses off the line “I’m going to kill you now!” All I could think was “What in the hell have you been trying to do so far?” It was funny to me, at least. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/27 "2000-10-03T04:31:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > **There is nothing in the film to indicate that Solo was talking about anything but time. In the context of the film, as the line was presented, it was a goof.** Perhaps Han was simply pulling a fast one on what he considered to be two country bumpkins. They ask him if it’s a fast ship, he figures they don’t know anything about anything, so he says the Star Wars equivilent of telling someone to check their blinker fluid. From the look on Obi Wan’s face, he gets the joke; Luke looks clueless. (Which makes sense.) ---
**Author:** ![OrcaChow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@OrcaChow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrcaChow)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/28 "2000-10-03T04:41:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Saint Zero \* > \*\*bad kung-fu movies are great places for stuff like this. > > Was watching one years ago with my Dad, Saturday afternoons, the new Fox affiliate here had Kung-Fu theater. Hysterical. Anyway, they have the usual fight going, then the villian stops, poses, and tosses off the line “I’m going to kill you now!” > > All I could think was “What in the hell have you been trying to do so far?” It was funny to me, at least. \*\* One long-running SNL-type show in the Seattle area had a running skit about a badly-dubbed Kung Fu master named Billy Kwan (“Remember kids, _be like Billy_”). In every skit the pivotal line was, “You have offended my ancestors! Now you must die!” He’d end up flinging himself feet-first through the air on a long, meandering, physics-defying trajectory to nail the fleeing badguy. Sad (or funny) thing was, it was a lot less ridiculous than many real Kung Fu movies. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/29 "2000-10-03T05:48:12Z")
Obviously, the Kessel Run is becoming its own thread. Let me toss my two cents in…Lucasfilm has basically accepted several of the novels and all of the role-playing games as “cannon” for the “facts” of the SW universe. They all stick to the Kessel Run being measured by distance - the idea being that the faster the ship is, the closer it can skirt the black holes surrounding Kessel, and the shorter the trip is. So making the Kessel Run in under five parsecs meant that Han got a good, fast run in and cut his distance doing it. Besides, she’ll make .5 past lightspeed. She’s the fastest hunk of junk in the Galaxy. Take the Falcon. She’s the fastest ship in the fleet… Need I go on? As for stupid movie lines, this one comes from one of my favorite movies: Hudson, on the Drop Ship in Aliens - “We’re on the express elevator to hell, goin’ DOWN!!!” Egad, that line is STUPID. ---
**Author:** ![zenith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zenith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zenith)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/30 "2000-10-03T06:03:44Z")
I have to go with the part in Titanic where Kate Winslet tells Decaprio’s dead body that she will never let him go… and then promptly does. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/31 "2000-10-03T06:20:16Z")
> [@](#): > > As for stupid movie lines, this one comes from one of my favorite movies: Hudson, on the Drop Ship in Aliens - “We’re on the express elevator to hell, goin’ DOWN!!!” > > Egad, that line is STUPID. Yeah, it’s stupid when posted to a message board. But it’s entirely in-character for an egotistical, shallow blowhard like Hudson. 'Sides, it’s not like Hudson was the sharpest crayon in the box. ---
**Author:** ![sveglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@sveglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sveglio)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/32 "2000-10-03T06:31:48Z")
Here’s looking at you, kid. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/33 "2000-10-03T12:31:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zenith \* > \*\*I have to go with the part in Titanic where Kate Winslet tells Decaprio’s dead body that she will never let him go… and then promptly does. \*\* She doesn’t mean that she’ll not let him go physically. I did get a chuckle from it right away, but that’s not what she means. Jman ---
**Author:** ![Corixidae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Corixidae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corixidae)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/34 "2000-10-03T13:17:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andyman \* > \*\*From the X-Men, when Storm is about to fry toad… > > The whole “Do you know what happens” bit. I can’t even bring myself to type out the whole thing. ::shudder:: :eek: \*\* Hear hear. That line made me cringe both times I saw the flick and I still shudder just thinking about how utterly lame it was. You get the impression Storm is about to lash out with some devastatingly hip and/or ironic comment, but she peters out with **“The same thing that happens to everything else”** (or similar… I’ve tried to block it from my brane). gah! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/35 "2000-10-03T14:23:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by corixidae \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by andyman \* > > \*\*From the X-Men, when Storm is about to fry toad… > > > > The whole “Do you know what happens” bit. I can’t even bring myself to type out the whole thing. ::shudder:: :eek: \*\* > > Hear hear. That line made me cringe both times I saw the flick and I still shudder just thinking about how utterly lame it was. > > You get the impression Storm is about to lash out with some devastatingly hip and/or ironic comment, but she peters out with **“The same thing that happens to everything else”** (or similar… I’ve tried to block it from my brane). > > gah! \*\* The line would have worked IF TOAD HAD BLOWN UP. It’s a dismissive line; you’re nothing to me, pal, because I can French-fry a cruise liner and not even break a sweat, and I’ve spent my whole life with this ability/curse. If she’d said “The same thing that happens to everything else” and then Toad had been hit by lightning and had disintegrated into a million carbonized Toad-bits, it would have made more sense, and the line would work. You’d think; whoa, this is one ass-kicking mutant bitch, she just turned that guy to kibble and she doesn’t even care. Instead he went flying off into the sea (an awful visual effect, to boot) without obviouzsly dying so they can use him again in the sequel. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/36 "2000-10-03T15:28:03Z")
John Wayne in “The Greatest Story Ever Told” :“Truly he was the son of gawd” about you know who. Keith ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/37 "2000-10-03T16:00:00Z")
Most blatant example of ‘product placement’ I ever saw, in The Peacemaker: George Clooney and Nicole Kidman are in their hotel room in Eastern Europe, after having infiltrated the bad guys headquarters looking for information. Her laptop suddenly says, “You’ve got mail!” and Nicole says, “I e-mailed the files to my AOL account.” Yup, all the secret agents use AOL. ---
**Author:** ![tomas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tomas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomas)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/38 "2000-10-03T16:24:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > FYI: The Kessel Run was not a race for time. It was a race for distance. I can’t remember where to find an after-the-fact explanation of it, but I’m sure there are plenty of Dopers who can. > > > [@](#): > > > > I can explain the parsec thing-it meant finding a SHORT CUT, since you have to go near the Maw-a black hole cluster to GET to Kessel. (Yes, I read the novels, dammit!) > > > [@](#): > > > > Other explanations have been offered, but they typically rely on material not presented in the film. > > I think the last quote got it. There is nothing in the film to indicate that Solo was talking about anything but time. In the context of the film, as the line was presented, it was a goof. > > ``` > ** > > ``` No offense, but you guys really need to get out more! ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/39 "2000-10-03T17:11:48Z")
**"My name’s Anakin, and I’m a _person!_"** This kid is bucking for Keanu’s job. ---
**Author:** ![OrcaChow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@OrcaChow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrcaChow)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/40 "2000-10-03T17:48:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Edwardina \* > \*\ ***"My name’s Anakin, and I’m a _person!_"** > > This kid is bucking for Keanu’s job. \*\* Just an FYI: That kid got the role of Ender Wiggin in the upcoming big-screen production of “Ender’s Game.” Orson Scott Card held off until he was assured Hollywood wouldn’t [his phrase] “Culkinize” the movie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256.md?page=3)