# Worst Movie Lines **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 1, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256 "2000-10-01T17:48:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/41 "2000-10-03T17:56:25Z")
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Are they nuts? Uggh. We were really hoping for Haley Joel Osmet, now HE would have been perfect. ---
**Author:** ![OrcaChow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e47c2d/32.png) [@OrcaChow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrcaChow)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/42 "2000-10-03T18:39:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andyman \* > \*\*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! > > Are they nuts? Uggh. We were really hoping for Haley Joel Osmet, now HE would have been perfect. > > \*\* Yep, Haley would’ve been fantastic for the part. But casting occurred shortly after TPM and before Haley was ever on the radar screen. Unfortunate timing. (Apologies to the gallery for going off-subject on this.) ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/43 "2000-10-03T19:29:49Z")
An all-around bad movie, **The Haunting** has one of the worst, er, dialog exchanges I’ve ever witnessed. Owen Wilson is walking the halls at night, Liam Neeson comes around a corner, and they scare each other. What follows is about two minutes of this: Owen: Oh - you scared me Liam: I’m sorry - Owen: No, no, no, it’s just - Liam: Yeah, I was just - Owen: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no - you gotta - Liam: Well I - Owen: No, no . . . and so on. Wow. Did they bring in David Mamet to script that exchange? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/44 "2000-10-03T20:32:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Did they bring in David Mamet to script that exchange? Nope, because if they did, it would go something like th \*whoops gotta go boss coming \* ---
**Author:** ![JoshMoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ebca7d/32.png) [@JoshMoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoshMoses)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/45 "2000-10-03T20:59:56Z")
Batman. “This town needs an enema.” That’s retarded. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/46 "2000-10-03T21:06:02Z")
The last 2 lines in the newly-released _Godzilla 2000:_ ‘Why does Godzilla always come to our rescue?’ “Maybe because Godzilla is in each of us.” (Whereupon we cut to the “heroic” Godzilla torching what remains of Tokyo. The end.) ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/47 "2000-10-04T00:09:52Z")
> [@](#): > > ‘Why does Godzilla always come to our rescue?’ > “Maybe because Godzilla is in each of us.” That’s brilliant. It approaches the sublime. And as for all this debate over the Kessel Run, I don’t think it’s too great a stretch to believe that Lucas had no idea what he was talking about when he wrote that line, and subsequent contributors to the Star Wars Universe cobbled together plausible story to explain what was pretty obviously a mistake. In which case, whoever wrote the Han Solo series gets a no-prize. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/48 "2000-10-04T00:29:52Z")
What about the stupid lines from MST3K movies? The Touch of Satan: “This is where the fish lives.” Final Justice: “You think you can take me? Well go’head on. It’s your move.” (Delivered by the puffy greasy Joe Don Baker) The Pumaman: “I’ve never made love in the air before.” “That’s how little Pumamen are made.” The Deadly Bees: “Have you seen the dog’s meat?” ---
**Author:** ![zenith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zenith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zenith)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/49 "2000-10-04T01:02:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jman \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by zenith \* > > \*\*I have to go with the part in Titanic where Kate Winslet tells Decaprio’s dead body that she will never let him go… and then promptly does. \*\* > > She doesn’t mean that she’ll not let him go physically. I did get a chuckle from it right away, but that’s not what she means. > > Jman \*\* I got what she meant but the timing in that scene destroyed what would have been a very touching moment. ---
**Author:** ![DavisMcDavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@DavisMcDavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavisMcDavis)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2000, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/50 "2000-10-04T04:00:54Z")
If we’re talking about lines at the end of movies that leave you saying “Huh?” there’s always the winner at the end of Barbarella: Jane Fonda (Barbarella): What did you save her for after all the mean things she did to you? Paygar: That’s because an angel has no memory! Which wouldn’t be so stupid except throughout the movie he’s bringing up shit from the past, like how he can’t fly “Atrophy of the greater alia muscle” “No, he’s lost the will to fly!” and stuff…come to think of it, the whole movie’s full of bad lines… ---
**Author:** ![Show\_Biz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Show\_Biz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Show_Biz)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/51 "2000-10-15T17:20:48Z")
The worst line was in **Star Wars** when **Carrie Fisher** (as Princess Leia Organa) has to complain to **Peter Cushing** (as Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin) that she could tell it was him by his foul stench. She complained in her book that that the entire line (which I can’t rcall exactly) was so unlike real speach, and such a tongue twister, that they had twenty takes of just her close-up saying it, and in the end they had to splice 3 snipets of film together and have “post production” people smooth out the jarring changes of voice. ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/52 "2000-10-16T00:47:19Z")
From _The Phantom Menace_: …when Anakin is flying the ship into outer space and says “Now _this_ is pod-racing!” First of all, it’s a bad analogy to begin with, and second of all, **it’s NOT pod-racing you little $#!\*!** You’re flying a damn spaceship! From _The Haunting_: That movie was full of horrible dialogue. Most notably, “It’s all about family! Well, I’m family grandpa!” I almost puked when I heard that line. From _The Lost World_ (or maybe it was the original Jurrasic Park, I’m not entirely sure): When the girl is trying to unlock the doors, she browses through the computer system (with a neat-looking 3D GUI, BTW) and says “I’ve gotta find the right file!” Woo boy, you can tell the writers knew a lot about computers because they used the word “file.” Also, Re: the “parsecs”: I’ve heard the “distance from black hole cluster” argument before, and it makes sense, but I’m more in favor of BlackKnight’s explanation; Han wanted to see if Luke or Obi Won (yes, it’s “won,” but it’s pronounced “wahn”) understood. Many a time have I seen people acting as computer tech support jokingly say “Your RAM is getting in the way or the DPMI/IPX ports, so you should defrag your CPU,” only to have the customer say “Okay! I’ll do that right away!” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/53 "2000-10-16T19:44:47Z")
KJ wrote: > [@](#): > > From _The Phantom Menace_: …when Anakin is flying the ship into outer space and says “Now _this_ is pod-racing!” First of all, it’s a bad analogy to begin with, and second of all, **it’s NOT pod-racing you little $#!\*!** You’re flying a damn spaceship! In the Terry Adams (?) novelization of the movie, what Anakin says is: “This is **much better** than pod racing!” My suspicion is that that line was originally in the movie script, but Lucas changed it to “this is pod racing!” because there was a pod-racing video game coming out and he didn’t want to besmirch its sales by having Anakin say there was something better out there. ---
**Author:** ![JBENZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@JBENZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBENZ)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2000, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/54 "2000-10-17T02:58:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DavisMcDavis \* > \*\*If we’re talking about lines at the end of movies that leave you saying “Huh?” there’s always the winner at the end of Barbarella: > > Jane Fonda (Barbarella): What did you save her for after all the mean things she did to you? > > Paygar: That’s because an angel has no memory! > > Which wouldn’t be so stupid except throughout the movie he’s bringing up shit from the past, like how he can’t fly “Atrophy of the greater alia muscle” “No, he’s lost the will to fly!” and stuff…come to think of it, the whole movie’s full of bad lines… \*\* Yeah well…I don’t think it was the lines that it wuz about: [http://www.geocities.com/~jbenz/barbare2.jpg](http://www.geocities.com/~jbenz/barbare2.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2000, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/55 "2000-10-22T19:49:29Z")
JoshMoses wrote: > [@](#): > > Batman. > “This town needs an enema.” > > That’s retarded. Well, at least the Joker didn’t follow this up by saying, “And I’m public enema number one!” ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/56 "2000-10-23T00:33:57Z")
…And so Ronald Reagan is standing in in front of this dork in black robes, see, then he raises his hand and says stuff like"…protect and defend the Constitution…" A howler. ---
**Author:** ![shimmery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@shimmery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shimmery)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256/57 "2000-10-23T02:00:06Z")
In First Knight (a pretty bad movie, but it still makes me cry cuz, well, Sean Connery dies! :o( ) , the part that always cracks me up is when they go, “Look to the trees! It’s an ambush!” hehe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-lines/35256.md?page=2)