# Worst movie title? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 20, 2007, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180 "2007-11-20T14:36:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/101 "2007-11-21T04:09:19Z")
[QUOTE=xizor] I totally agree with this, and would like to add that **Love in the Time of Cholera** sounds like a romance novel that Marge Simpson would be seen reading. [/QUOTE] The title is a pun in Spanish. The word “colera” in Spanish means the disease, cholera, as well as “rage.” So it’s love during a cholera epidemic as well as love during tumultuous times in history. As far as bad movie titles go, can we submit TV movies? Because my favorite bad movie title belongs to the Lifetime movie “Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?” If not, I vote for “Freddy Got Fingered” ---
**Author:** ![tonedef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@tonedef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonedef)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/102 "2007-11-21T04:10:45Z")
I always hate when they make a sequel to a movie and they just add onto the original movie’s title. \*\*I Know What You Did Last Summer \*\* the sequals are; \*\*I Still Know What You Did Last Summer \*\* & **I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer.** [QUOTE=Marley23] **Snakes on a Plane** should probably get a mention as well. And if I can mention Z-grade movies, I’d add **The Incredibly Strange Creates Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies.** Granted, they weren’t really trying with that one. [/QUOTE] Snakes on a plane is a good title, straight to the point no thinking required. I cant wait for the sequel with a worse name. Anyone seen [Snakes on a Train](http://imdb.com/title/tt0843873/)? [QUOTE=Marley23] The title was stupid, which is basically what drew people to the movie in the first place. It was so stupid that it was greatly amusing, don’t get me wrong - I saw the thing opening night. But if “Snakes on a Plane” was a good title, Titanic should have been “Girl on a Boat,” Speed should have been “Guy on a Bus,” and Schindler’s List should have been “Jews on a Train.” [/QUOTE] When ever i hear Schindler’s List I’m reminded of the Ricky Gervais joke; [QUOTE=Ricky Gervais] I think Schindler’s List is a fantastic film. And I didn’t watch it at the cinema actually. I got it out on video, about a year later - by mistake - 'cause I’d never heard of it and I was in Blockbuster sort of late one night. I was a bit drunk, and I thought it was a porn film. No, 'cause I saw 18 certificate, top shelf. I thought, oh, black and white - dodgy home movie, German sounding - they’re the best, and what swung it was that quote on the back from Barry Norman: “Have a box of Kleenex ready”. Rubbish, I used about two. There was a shower scene. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/103 "2007-11-21T04:38:15Z")
I hear **American History X** was a good movie. I didn’t bother seeing it, though, since I’d never seen the first nine.\* (\*Joke shamelessly stolen from… can’t remember where.) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/104 "2007-11-21T05:23:57Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] But that conveys so much sense of a tide turning in a long story. Obviously that’s the title of a film that would come second or third, I don’t know, maybe fourth, in a long series, and would convey to the faithful audience that the dismal turns and wretched developments we had seen in the earlier acts were at last to be put away, with promises of better things to come. Unless, of course, it’s the title of a film with nothing before it to establish all that, in which case, it’s a wretched choice. [/QUOTE] Of course, they didn’t invent the “A New Hope” title until some time later. “Star Wars Episode II: The Attack of the Clones” is surely the worst title ever, isn’t it? It’s even worse than “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever.” It’s too long, and sound retarded. I also never understood why the original movie was called “Pirates of the Carribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.” There’s no need for the addendum, because it was the first movie. Just “Pirates of the Caribbean” would have been fine, with additional titles for the sequels. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/105 "2007-11-21T05:43:12Z")
[QUOTE=tonedef] Anyone seen [Snakes on a Train](http://imdb.com/title/tt0843873/)? [/QUOTE] No, but now I want to. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/106 "2007-11-21T05:48:53Z")
[Inside Monkey Zetterland](http://imdb.com/title/tt0107220/)- a way too self important art house film written/directed/produced by/starring Steve Antin. Only redeeming part was Katherine Helmond as his mother. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/107 "2007-11-21T05:52:26Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] Ugh. Still, the title isn’t quite as bad as the movie itself, and it does give you a very accurate impression of the pretentious, irredeemably horrible piece of trash a viewer will be confronted with if he ever sits down to watch this disaster. Worst movie I’ve ever seen. [/QUOTE] I remember paying cash money to see **Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?** in a movie theater because it featured nudity in a non-porn movie, which was fairly rare at the time. It was awful. Batman would not have been prepared for this. Nonetheless, it won an award. A **WRITING** award, from the Writer’s Guild of Great Britain in 1970. Perhaps the awards committee couldn’t understand it either, and thought that made it so avant garde it was cool. Believe me, it wasn’t. The only outstanding thing was Milton Berle as The Devil, aka Goodtime Eddie Filth In fact, the character names may have been enough for the writer’s guild. Joan Collins is Polyester Poontang. Other characters are named: Mercy Humppe (of Course) Filigree Fondle Trampolena Whambang Maidenhead Fern Miss Hope Climax Rivals only **Skidoo!** in overwrought inanity starring a bunch of big stars who should have known better. ---
**Author:** ![Clark\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@Clark\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clark_K)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/108 "2007-11-21T06:20:03Z")
I particularly dislike **Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever** because it sounds like it’s almost a pun. I keep thinking it’s a joke that I’m just not getting: “Hmmm. Could it be ‘X versus Ever’? Or some variation on ‘Sex’ and ‘Ever’? Be funny, dammit!” ---
**Author:** ![Pel2na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Pel2na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pel2na)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/109 "2007-11-21T06:36:08Z")
Back in the 80’s, one of the first breakout indie features was a black comedy called **Eating Raoul**. Funny film, but the morons made the Big Twist the title! Can you see a movie marketing meeting and some pinhead pipes up, "I know, instead of **The Crying Game** , let’s call it **She’s Got a Penis**! ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/110 "2007-11-21T06:49:46Z")
Has anyone mentioned **Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever** yet? ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/111 "2007-11-21T06:55:01Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] I also never understood why the original movie was called “Pirates of the Carribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.” There’s no need for the addendum, because it was the first movie. Just “Pirates of the Caribbean” would have been fine, with additional titles for the sequels. [/QUOTE] Ah, but that’s the genius that would’ve been missed out on. Having just “Pirates of the Caribbean” implies a one-off, and then the sequels sound like sequels. having all three fit the same format makes it sound like an ongoing series, the first anticipating its continuation. There was a decision made to change the title partway through production to its extended chapter-like form once they saw what a great movie they had emerging. Also, it’s so much more intriguing a title when it implies such classic swashbuckling adventure as cursed pirates. For those unfamiliar with the ride (and outside of the US there are many such people) it added the right amount of detail to make the movie worth paying attention to. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/112 "2007-11-21T07:12:37Z")
Sorry to ruin the thread, guys, but the winner is [Monsturd](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0364527/). Although a close runner-up is **Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow**. The title itself made me completely uninterested in what was apparently a decent movie that has since been covered up by the sands of time. > [@Marley23](#): > > Schindler’s List should have been “Jews on a Train.” Well, I know what _I’m_ doing with my camera over winter break. > [@vetbridge](#): > > At the opposite end of the spectrum, the movie Being John Malcovich is a movie about being John Malcovich! I, for one, loved the fact that such a surreal movie had such a clear and simplistic title. > [@Peak Banana](#): > > I hear American History X was a good movie. I didn’t bother seeing it, though, since I’d never seen the first nine.\* It’s actually a pretty fitting title, in the context of the movie. It _sounds_ dumb. But American History X is an unofficial high school history class about why it’s a bad idea to be a Nazi in LA. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/113 "2007-11-21T07:35:57Z")
I have an authoritative answer from _Movie Facts and Feats_ (1980), by Patrick Robertson, page 182: > [@](#): > > **The least compelling title** > The editor would like to nominate _Chairman Mao Reviews the Mighty Contingent of the Cultural Revolution for the Fifth and Sixth Times_ (China 67). ---
**Author:** ![tonedef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@tonedef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonedef)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/114 "2007-11-21T12:09:18Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] Of course, they didn’t invent the “A New Hope” title until some time later. “Star Wars Episode II: The Attack of the Clones” is surely the worst title ever, isn’t it? It’s even worse than “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever.” It’s too long, and sound retarded.. [/QUOTE] You sure about that? Cause didn’t George Lucus write 9 star wars movies? And after being rejected from a heap of movie studios only finally picked him up and said they would do 3 so he did 4,5 & 6. I could be wrong with this, but its what I have been lead to beleav for many years. [QUOTE=Pel2na] Back in the 80’s, one of the first breakout indie features was a black comedy called **Eating Raoul**. Funny film, but the morons made the Big Twist the title! Can you see a movie marketing meeting and some pinhead pipes up, "I know, instead of **The Crying Game** , let’s call it **She’s Got a Penis**! [/QUOTE] If thats what its called then i would see the movie. but with a title like the crying games it just sound like to much of a chick flick. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/115 "2007-11-21T12:24:08Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] Closed for Remodeling [/QUOTE] Let us not forget that annual double feature at all the drive-in theaters in Michigan (at one time anyway): **Closed For The Winter** -and- **See You In The Spring** ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/116 "2007-11-21T14:51:04Z")
[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman] Do the words “Single White Female” strike fear in your heart? [/QUOTE] Oh I see. I sort of thought that was the point, that something so innocuous and every day turned out so horribly wrong but I see what you’re saying. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/117 "2007-11-21T17:04:25Z")
[QUOTE=Millit the Frail] “House” is actually supposed to be a pun on “Holmes,” as in Sherlock. [/QUOTE] Oh, right, I think they mentioned that when it first came on. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/118 "2007-11-21T17:08:08Z")
[QUOTE=Lute Skywatcher] Oh, right, I think they mentioned that when it first came on. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Truly inapposite, however. Holmes was a **gentleman.** ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/119 "2007-11-21T17:27:45Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Truly inapposite, however. Holmes was a **gentleman.** [/QUOTE] Not to mention that characters in the Sherlock Holmes stories were actually, you know, characters–interesting fictional people with personalities that consisted of more than their squabbles or sexual tension with the main character. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180/120 "2007-11-21T18:04:16Z")
Another vote for **Prick Up Your Ears** , if only for the awkwardness it posed to marquee title-changers everywhere. There was no polite way to abbreviate it if your sign was too short. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-title/427180.md?page=7)