# Worst Movie You've Paid To See **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 30, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872 "2001-08-30T03:06:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![k.os](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@k.os](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k.os)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/81 "2001-08-30T20:40:45Z")
I saw Cocktail with Tom Cruise. It was the only thing playing at the theater near my parent’s house in the 'burbs before they built a 4-screener at another mall. I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover. ::sits in corner hugging his knees rocking back and forth staring blankly:: ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/82 "2001-08-30T20:49:43Z")
I apparently have no luck in choosing movies to go see. I usually just hit the movies when I have nothing better to do. I will regularly hit the $1 movie theater here in town. Never have I gotten my money’s worth. I actually paid $1 to see \*\*Weekend at Bernie’s 2, Gremlins 2, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, Fear, \*\* (with Mark Wahlberg) and that crappy movie where Jennifer Aniston falls in love with her gay best friend after she finds out she’s pregnant. (It was so bad that I have blocked the name.) Granted, these were never highly recommended movies, but for some reason I was drawn to them. I like going to bad movies with a bunch of friends, though. (i.e. all the **Friday the 13th** movies…) I went to see the last one with friends, and we were the only people in the theater… Perfect time for a little MST3K action. ---
**Author:** ![Spyderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@Spyderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spyderman)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/83 "2001-08-30T21:02:28Z")
I remember I once dated a girl in and on our first nihgt out we went to see [Hudson Hawk](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0102070). I don’t think ther ever was a second date, and to this day I blame Bruce Willis. Although I have to admit that he has made a lot of decent movies since. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/84 "2001-08-30T21:04:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > **…and Star Trek V** _twitch_ I had forgotten about that one. This abomination has been blessedly expunged from my memory. And then you brought it back to me! [Sam Kinison] AAAGGHHH! [/Sam Kinison] This movie _did not happen_, OK? It is non-canonical. It was just a bad dream. Just a bad dream… Just a bad dream… ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/85 "2001-08-30T21:07:24Z")
_Blow_ was not just a title. P.S. Very few people (and critics) get that _Starship Troopers_ is supposed to be a satire. To quote the director, “When we show people in Gestapo uniforms, we are saying that they are _bad_.” ---
**Author:** ![MeCorva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MeCorva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeCorva)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/86 "2001-08-30T21:31:40Z")
I agree, Highlander II is probably the worst movie. But HEAVY was probably the most boring movie. I personally think someone said “Why are there so many movies about people who are interesting or doing interesting things? Why don’t we rebel and show boring people doing _NOTHING_. That’ll b enew and different!” GOD, by the end I wished I had something interesting to do like watch paint dry. Me’Corva ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/87 "2001-08-30T21:46:18Z")
I paid a dollar to see\*\* Quest For Fire\*\* 'round about 1983 and I’m still not over the thought that I paid a whole dollar and wasted 100 minutes of my life AND I paid a dollar to do it. Yes, I’m still bitter. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/88 "2001-08-30T21:57:52Z")
What about **Cool World**? God, what a sucky movie ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/89 "2001-08-30T22:47:13Z")
Some truly horrid movies have been mentioned here, and you all deserve credit for owning up to having seen some of this crap, but you’ve missed the target. Hands down, without a doubt, to the point that Ike should close the thread now, the worst movie ever made was **There’s Something About Mary** All the critics - whom I normally take with a grain of salt anyway - RAVED about this peanut encrusted turd. Then, several of my friends - whose opinions I normally trust - talked about this smegma drip with such glee that they actually went into giggle fits talking about scenes or even mentioning lines. I went to see it. I sat like a father watching his little girl get run over by a truck for an hour and a half as the people around me howled with laughter. I didn’t even smile, much less laugh. No worse movie has ever been made, scripted or even imagined. Gods, it was not funny. It was moronic drivel that should have resulted in jail time for the director and cast. All this, and I LIKE low humor, for crying out loud. By the way, there was no Highlander II. It’s a myth. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/90 "2001-08-31T00:41:14Z")
That’s it. Y’all are NOT getting invited to my next GWTW pawty. Hmmmph! \<–done in my Scarlett O’hara voice Worst movies I’ve ever paid to see: **Pacific Heights** - don’t know what was more tedious: the unbelievably stupid plot or Melanie Griffith’s Minnie Mouse voice. **In Dreams** - I felt embarrassed for the actors. Horror films done badly end up being unintentional comedies. **Eyes Wide Shut** - Yeah, yeah, Stanley Kubrick is a cinematic _genius_. And my grandma could make a movie more erotic than this piece of dung. BONG! \<–that’s the sound of me striking a piano key. ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/91 "2001-08-31T01:14:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > **Laserblast - I paid money to see it when years later I could have seen it on MST3K…** ahh **HAHAHAHA** HaHaHaa!!! This movie more than sucked…it swallowed! _However_…I made out with my high school sweetheart in the back of her van at the drive-in during this, so it wasn’t a _total_ loss. MST3K covered LaserBlast??? Ohh, man…I _gotta_ find this… ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/92 "2001-08-31T01:25:15Z")
I would say _Battlefield Earth_ but we knew that would be horribly bad and went just to see how bad it was. It did not disappoint, and it’s one of my favorite bad movies (I even have the DVD). So I will have to say it was _Pearl Harbor_. It got bad reviews. I knew from the first preview I saw that it would be bad. I held out very little hope that it would have any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Why did I see it? I have no clue. I guess on one level I was curious (much like with _Battlefield Earth_). On another level, I guess I just couldn’t believe it could be that bad. On yet another level, they were showing the trailer for _LOTR_. I should have trusted my better judgement. (Okay, the _LOTR_ trailer was worth it though:) ) ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/93 "2001-08-31T01:31:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by poohpah chalupa \* > MST3K covered LaserBlast??? Ohh, man…I _gotta_ find this… Oh yes, and it is as glorious as you would imagine. Beware of “Back fat.” ---
**Author:** ![Gregor\_Samsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@Gregor\_Samsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gregor_Samsa)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/94 "2001-08-31T01:33:11Z")
I paid $12 (TWELVE DOLLARS) to see **Loser** last year. I thought, well, Jason Biggs was pretty funny in **American Pie** and Mena Suvari was pretty good in **American Beauty** - how bad could it be? Really bad. Really really bad. I don’t know, maybe you have to be a teenager to get it. But the only movie I’ve ever paid money to see and then walked out of was **Yentl**. Jesus, what an awful movie. ---
**Author:** ![xanakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/7bcc69/32.png) [@xanakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xanakis)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/95 "2001-08-31T01:55:54Z")
Jaws 3 in 3d - most unintentionally funny film Ive ever paid to see. Closely followed by Independence Day, closely followed by Scrooged starring Bill Murray (made me want to throw up). ---
**Author:** ![Aguecheek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Aguecheek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aguecheek)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/96 "2001-08-31T02:54:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DynoSaur \* > \*\ ***Starship Troopers**. No contest. There were one or two redeeming qualities to the movie, but they were both attached to the redhead… \*\* Yup. You beat me. My favourite Heinlein ever, and they…and they…Oh god. I can’t go on. “They suck _brains_!” [sub]Oh dear lord…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Zaphod\_Beeblebrox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/0ea827/32.png) [@Zaphod\_Beeblebrox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zaphod_Beeblebrox)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/97 "2001-08-31T04:23:22Z")
Re: GWTW > [@](#): > > The movie portrays the Civil War as seen by Southern society. The novel was incredibly well researched. That’s the way it was, folks. So, are you saying that slaves really were these happy people who sang away as they toiled? Were they really happy to be slaves? That’s the way the movie portrayed them. Apologizing for the thread drift, and returning you to the scheduled discussion. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/98 "2001-08-31T05:46:21Z")
Amateurs. _Spice World_ Yeah, I kinda enjoyed it, which I was expecting. But I really can’t pretend that it had any actual quality. Actually, I’ve paid to see way too many of the movies mentioned here. And kinda liked many of them. _Robocop 2_ and _The Fifth Element_ are both on my short list of favorites, though I will admit that the former is deeply lacking in any sort of cinematic greatness, I just like watching it. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/99 "2001-08-31T09:18:32Z")
Cool World _Holly Wood naked couldn’t have made up for that POS- only redeeming part- Brad Pitt & his cartoon girl_ Robin Hood-Men in Tights _no redeeming parts_ Mars Attacks- SFX thrown at ya with minimal plot Jurassic Park II:Lost World- the same (btw, I enjoyed JP III) Hanging Up (Lisa Kudrow, Meg Ryan, Diane Keaton & Walter Matthau- how could THAT go wrong? and yet!) ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872/100 "2001-08-31T10:08:04Z")
I think it’s a tie between ‘Bless the Child’ and ‘Dungeons and Dragons’, both movies my wife dragged me to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movie-youve-paid-to-see/78872.md?page=6)