# "Worst" movies of the 80s **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 30, 2008, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147 "2008-05-30T15:02:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/41 "2008-05-31T00:18:44Z")
1980: Popeye. Much as I dig Robin Williams when he’s good, this was just a dog turd piece of shit waste of celluloid. 1984: Johnny Dangerously. Michael Keaton, WTF were you thinking? 1982: Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. Steve Martin, after “Let’s Get Small” and other promising material, you really fucked up. And the worst turd of the 1980s, coming from 1981, goes to: Cannonball Run. It was funny reading about this in Car & Driver magazine, and the movie had great potential for hilarity. I remember watching it and thinking, ‘This is going to get funny any second now!’ and it just. never. happened. Burt Reynolds was probably already a total dickhead. None of the other stars could rescue this steaming pile. It was the very first time I realized that the the few cool parts in the movie were slapped together as a trailer for TV and there. was. no. more. How do I get this 95 minutes of my life back? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/42 "2008-05-31T00:32:40Z")
How can you not like **Short Circuit**?? That movie was sooo cute! And I am glad to see someone already gave Bauhaus the credit for their song. I saw them in concert about 2 years ago. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/43 "2008-05-31T00:35:17Z")
[QUOTE=lobotomyboy63] 1984: Johnny Dangerously. Michael Keaton, WTF were you thinking? [/QUOTE] Um…they were thinking this movie will be funny as hell? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/44 "2008-05-31T00:44:33Z")
Love _Johnny Dangerously_ and _Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid_. Not as funny as \*The Man With Two Brains \* but still pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/45 "2008-05-31T00:58:25Z")
[QUOTE=Love Rhombus] Also Goonies, which I never really liked. [/QUOTE] That’s an interesting one. When it first came out, I really liked it. At the time, I was newly into RPGs, and was starving for source materials that would give me a feel for gaming. I was, in fact, just counting down the decades until LOTR would be released. Goonies was the closest thing to fit the bill at the time. I saw it in theatres maybe half a dozen times. It has not stood up to the test of time well at all. Kerri Green was in it (once again, I had a major crush on her, but she epitomized bad 80s movies), it had a drum machine end title, it had a Cindi Lauper song, it had bad boy yuppie frat boys, rudimentary ILM effects, and it borrowed heavily from the Indiana Jones movies (and even had one of the actors). Oh, and it had Corey Feldman and Martha Plympton. On the other hand, Sean Aston went on to fantasy greatness. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/46 "2008-05-31T01:13:46Z")
[QUOTE=Love Rhombus] I nominate Killer Klowns from Outer Space. It was very bad not good! [/QUOTE] No, KKFOS was a _documentary_, not a movie, it proved incontrovertibly that clowns (or, as they are _truly_ known, Klowns) are _EVIL_ **Electric Dreams** OTOH… yes, spilling wine on your primitive IBM XT PC will make it sentient, suuuuure… ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/47 "2008-05-31T03:07:36Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] Of course, no mention of trashy 80’s bar movies would be complete without the Filmed In Glorious Mullet-O-Vision epic that was [Road House](http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Road_House_1989.aspx). Bonus 80’s points for Patrick Swayze! [/QUOTE] The Agony Booth has a fantastic in-depth commentary of that [film](http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Road_House_1989.aspx) and it is **awesome**! It is complete and freakin’ hilarious. “And then, suddenly, there he is, standing in front of the bar, nodding along to the Cruzados beat. His mullet is indeed mighty, and it forms a silhouette not unlike the head of the proud American bald eagle. It is the man of the year, of the century, perhaps even the millennium. Men want to be him, women just want him. It is he, and only he, that may be called The Swayze.” "Mr. $100 Bill: Okay, Dalton! I’ve always wanted to try you! I think I can take you! If a man has ever written his own epitaph, this would be it. " It’s magic. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/48 "2008-05-31T03:11:56Z")
[QUOTE=MacTech] **Electric Dreams** OTOH… yes, spilling wine on your primitive IBM XT PC will make it sentient, suuuuure… [/QUOTE] It was a common problem with the PC jrs. Just one of many faults with that computer. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/49 "2008-05-31T03:39:14Z")
You know, **Robocop** wasn’t a\* bad\* movie, but it sure piles up the 80’s-ness in a big, big hurry. The hair, the clothes, the corporate greed-is-good mentality. Cocaine on the table with the fashion models and getting kneecapped by Kurtwood Smith. And let’s not forget the techno-music in the dance club. It sounds like the opening theme to the Tracy Ulman show. It all makes me want to put on my Members Only jacket. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/50 "2008-05-31T03:49:25Z")
I was gonna nominate _The Wizard_, but the king of cheesiness, Mike Nelson, gives a good argument for _Road House_ in his book _Movie Megacheese_: > [@Mike Nelson](#): > > What I really believe is that a film should be judged on how well it comes off when compared with the Patrick Swayze film Road House. For Road House is the single finest American film. Certainly it stinks, but I believe the filmmakers meant it to, and succeeded grandly. (PS: The Agony Booth is a great site. Be sure to read their reviews of the works of Mr. T, another great campy '80s star. Campy in a good way, fool!) ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/51 "2008-05-31T04:50:08Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] The 80s were special. The hair, the music, the spandex, and leg warmers made it a unique decade. I’m looking for movies that may have been considered watchable at the time, but have been rendered so incredibly obsolete by that culture that they are laughable today. I’m talking movies that make you grateful that that terrible decade is long since dead and buried. Include your reasons. Some possible earmarks of bad 80s movies: -Includes a fantasy sequence with a 3-minute pop song, obviously designed to get airplay on MTV. -Main character has Flock of Seagulls haircut. (Or for the inginue, a poodle cut.) -Leg warmers appear in any part of it. -A part has been cast with a pop star. -The plot is intricately linked with the politics of the time, i.e. Reagan-era cold war. -Brat Pack vehicle -Main title music uses a drum machine -Punks feature prominently [/quote] No love for **Weird Science**? MTV montage thing - all over the place Bad 80s hair cuts - in spades! Leg warmers - don’t remember any Pop Star - do models count? cold war politics? - the boys do hack into a super secret military computer and accidentally create a nuclear missile Brat Pack - Bill Paxton + Robert Downey Jr. Punks - crash the boys party Drum Machine? - If Oingo Boingo weren’t using one, Id be be very surprised. Also, bonus points abundant use of really bad computer graphics. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/52 "2008-05-31T05:08:06Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] Campy in a good way, fool!) [/QUOTE] Dude, I’m STRAIGHT and I know that campy = good. And I miss the unselfconscious tackiness of movies from the 80s. Maybe the enormous money in modern movies prevents it…aw, hell, who am I kidding? The money back then was just as (relatively) big and the studios let coked-up morons without the slightest inkling of how to make movies beyond, “That last one worked so let’s copy it,” make movies. I was always a sucker for “Escape From New York.” I think I will watch it tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/53 "2008-05-31T05:42:38Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] And I am glad to see someone already gave Bauhaus the credit for their song. I saw them in concert about 2 years ago. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Me three. A Bauhaus fan? Where were you when I started a thread on their new album? > **[Bauhaus - Go Away White](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=461519)** > > To be honest, If I’d had a chance to listen first, I probably wouldn’t have spent the money. It’s not like I have the complete discography anymore, and need this 25 years after effort to be complete. But it comes with a completely retro 1980’s black... I last saw them on the ‘Ressurection’ tour, 2001 I think. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/54 "2008-05-31T06:04:51Z")
Top Gun for “everyone loved it before but now it’s a steaming pile of garbage”, political relevance (sort of, i guess), bad “do it for the single” music, and gratuitous skin. The volleyball-leads-to-sex scene was abyssmal, but I loved the crap out of that movie when i was 10 years old. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/55 "2008-05-31T06:14:35Z")
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin] No love for **Weird Science**? [/quote] I actually mentioned that movie in my post because I loathed it, but I deleted it because I didn’t think it met enough of the criteria in the OP. “Fortunately” you remember it much better than I do. I just thought it was sort of crass and bad in a way that was very 80s, but you’ve made a very strong case for it. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/56 "2008-05-31T11:54:12Z")
Its about a bunch of idiotic kids, who decide to occupy their run-down military HS. How these kids got hold of machine guns is not clear-and their senile commandant shoots a kid by mistake? Anyway, the best scene is when the acting commander (Tim Hutton) gets caught in the crossfire. I kept wondering “why”?? ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/57 "2008-05-31T12:37:09Z")
Is it really reasonable to condemn a movie because it reflects the fashions, politics, and social mores of its time? Granted, a great many of the nominees so far are crap because they’re crap, but I’m not sure that the presence of the hairstyles of the day makes them so. In 20 years will you be saying the same things about the movies of today? ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/58 "2008-05-31T12:43:53Z")
[QUOTE=Licentious Ectomorph] Is it really reasonable to condemn a movie because it reflects the fashions, politics, and social mores of its time? Granted, a great many of the nominees so far are crap because they’re crap, but I’m not sure that the presence of the hairstyles of the day makes them so. In 20 years will you be saying the same things about the movies of today? [/QUOTE] 20 years? You obviously haven’t read any of the reviews on the internet about the latest blockbuster summer hits, which will automatically be called derivative and shallow. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/59 "2008-05-31T12:44:04Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] Of course, no mention of trashy 80’s bar movies would be complete without the Filmed In Glorious Mullet-O-Vision epic that was [Road House](http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Road_House_1989.aspx). Bonus 80’s points for Patrick Swayze! [/QUOTE] Road House has one of the best lines ever. “I used to fuck guys like you in prison.” ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2008, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147/60 "2008-05-31T13:19:08Z")
**Batteries Not Included** Ok, it’s not bad, and the graphics are great for the time. Actually, it’s not a very 80’s film at all. Never mind. However, I must submit Night of the Creeps, for it is awesome in a multitude of ways. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-movies-of-the-80s/451147.md?page=4)