# Worst Names Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2001, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913 "2001-10-07T10:05:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/21 "2001-10-08T01:13:01Z")
In previous jobs I’ve had, for various reasons we would have loads of customer names run through our hands, and always made a list of the interesting ones. I’ve seen a Larry Derryberry (daughter Sherry, but never verified if there was a wife Mary), Anita Bonar, Sharon Stitt, and my all-time favorite: Rhea Dyer. Imagine getting mail that’s addressed last name, first name. What I always wondered was did her parents to that to her (Rhea is a very unusual name, but I like it), or did she marry into the combination? If so, why not hyphenate, or something? ---
**Author:** ![bagkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/22 "2001-10-08T01:26:36Z")
Sister of a friend of mine from high school insisted on naming her kid Rocky. Her married surname was Rhodes. ---
**Author:** ![Spoonbender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spoonbender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoonbender)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/23 "2001-10-08T01:33:44Z")
In the movie and book _A Midnight Clear_, there’s a character named Will Knott. His friends call him Won’t. ---
**Author:** ![BigGiantHead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b4bc9f/32.png) [@BigGiantHead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigGiantHead)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/24 "2001-10-08T03:02:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Whammo \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by kniz \* > > \*\*… Unfortunately his name was **C.D. Lemons** … > > \*\* > > I dont get it. > \*\* I’m getting ‘seedy lemons’ from that. Don’t think it has anything to do with pie. I remember hearing, many moons ago, about a man with the family surname of Duck. Apparently, in a fit of misplaced pragmatism, he actually named his son Donald, because “that’s what everyone’s going to call him anyway.” Talk about making life hard on a guy! And no, I have no quote or source for the above. - Dave (whose own last name is a 9-letter pain in the royal butt) ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/25 "2001-10-08T03:09:50Z")
Some chick in my English class is named Mallory Mowery. Kinda sick. I uh, happen to know who **ARose** is referring to, and that poor girl gets called everything from “Cocky” to “G-Cock” and “Cock-Girl.” If it’s got “cock” in it, she gets called it. As far as I can recall, seems to me that he didn’t hold back making fun of her name either. But not that it matters to _me_. _coughs_ [sub][sup]Ima kill you, Mr. Rose ---
**Author:** ![ASD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@ASD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASD)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/26 "2001-10-08T04:07:37Z")
Chem professor at my alma mater was Harold Allcock. And as far as I can remember, he did go by Harry. [http://www.chem.psu.edu/profs/allcock.html](http://www.chem.psu.edu/profs/allcock.html) I went to high school with Richard Spotts. He went by Rich–but someone in one of our classes used to always call him “Dick Spotts”. I also went to high school with David Davis. Not funny–just unimaginative. (I think he may have been adopted as a child though and kept his original first name in which case it’s not really the result of poor parental planning) ---
**Author:** ![saudade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@saudade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saudade)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/27 "2001-10-08T04:27:02Z")
I once knew of a college track coach (In Arkansas I think) named Dickie Nutts. Closer to home, I went to school with one Chuck Spears. I know a guy named Randy Johnson. I think that name would be very amusing in England, as “randy” means horny. But I’m not sure if they call any body part a “johnson” there. If they do, that name would be really bad. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/28 "2001-10-08T04:59:20Z")
I once had a student named… Hung Wei Lo. Absolutely true! Friends didn’t believe me, so I had to photocopy pertinent documents to prove it. I also had a student named Bich, but that wasn’t nearly as bad as good old Hung Wei (Lo). My cousin once rented an apartment to a guy named Phuoc Yu. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/29 "2001-10-08T05:04:51Z")
Knew a Duc Phat once. ---
**Author:** ![ihrkelings](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/977dab/32.png) [@ihrkelings](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ihrkelings)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/30 "2001-10-08T05:20:36Z")
Saudade: Here is the link to randy johnson, the MLB Pitcher. His nickname is “The Big Unit”. [http://www.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/ari/team/ari\_player\_bio.jsp?frame=mlb&playerid=116615](http://www.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/ari/team/ari_player_bio.jsp?frame=mlb&playerid=116615) There’s a Harry Diehl auto sales in Imlay City, Michigan. Everytime we drive past I wonder…Is he big and fat? ---
**Author:** ![HairyPotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ab097/32.png) [@HairyPotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HairyPotter)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/31 "2001-10-08T05:34:59Z")
There was a “Sylvia Rottencrotch” in my junior high school class. Also, I knew a “Norbert”, poor soul. ---
**Author:** ![Philosophocles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Philosophocles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philosophocles)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/32 "2001-10-08T06:48:25Z")
Dick Trickle is of the same profession as Buckshot Jones. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/33 "2001-10-08T07:58:33Z")
An ex-boyfriend’s father’s name was John Johns. What makes it worse was that he was a plumber. No joke. ---
**Author:** ![bender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@bender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bender)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/34 "2001-10-08T09:14:09Z")
Brother of a bloke I went to school with was… Wayne Kerr Straight up ! …to be 10 years old and realising my olds weren’t that bad after all ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/35 "2001-10-08T09:44:11Z")
Rip Torn was actually born [Elmore Rual Torn Jr](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Torn,+Rip). I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… my great great great grandmother Fanny Leak was one unlucky lady. Still, it might have been worse… she could have married into my Higginbottom family. ---
**Author:** ![blur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dbc845/32.png) [@blur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blur)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/36 "2001-10-08T09:58:11Z")
I once worked at an insurance company, and one of the insured’s name was Fu Kin Hung. ---
**Author:** ![BigGiantHead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b4bc9f/32.png) [@BigGiantHead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigGiantHead)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/37 "2001-10-08T11:01:39Z")
Ooh! Forgot a good one. In my military days, many moons ago, I met up with a fellow fairly new recruit whose name was Swallower. Uncomfortable enough, by itself. But, to make it worse, we were both low-ranking members of the US NAVY – (wait for it … ) that’s right, he was a Seaman. Think about it. ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/38 "2001-10-08T14:24:31Z")
Knew a girl in college who’s lst name was Stankebusch. She was pretty good natured about it. My wife works for a insurance company so she sees all kinds of names. The best one I have heard of is, swear to God, someone named their poor daughter Fonda Cox. Bet she was popular in high school! ---
**Author:** ![BuddhaDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@BuddhaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuddhaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/39 "2001-10-08T14:55:29Z")
Comedian Andy Dick, or A. Dick for short (NewsRadio, The Andy Dick Show) ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/40 "2001-10-08T15:00:55Z")
I was in the army with a cajun guy named Richard Souleau, pronounced swallow. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913.md?page=3)