# Worst Names Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2001, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913 "2001-10-07T10:05:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/41 "2001-10-08T16:22:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HairyPotter \* > There was a “Sylvia Rottencrotch” in my junior high school class. How is that even possible? ---
**Author:** ![Candlemas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a8b319/32.png) [@Candlemas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candlemas)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/42 "2001-10-08T16:32:00Z")
I went to school with a kid named, no joke, **Phil McCracken**. He was tortured daily as a result. Kids can be so mean. Another notable from my high school was **Trip Buckmaster**. I think his real name was Robert, but we went by Trip because he was Robert Buckmaster III or some such thing. Not that the combo is bad, but there was also a **Tanya Kamneosophophal** at my school. As I recall she was very cool and everyone just called her Kam. A buddy of mine swears he knew an **Eric Blowenfuk** but I have requested documentation on several occasions and to date have seen none. ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/43 "2001-10-08T16:44:36Z")
My cousin grew up in the Russian River area in Northern California. She went to school with some kids with really odd names. The family I remember best had the last name Palikis (pronounced puh-lee-kiss). They had a son named Freakus (yes, rhyming with the last name) and a daughter named Groovy Nipples. The unfortunate thing about the name Groovy Nipples is that you can’t even have a decent nickname! (yes this is my first post; I’m a newbie, please be nice) ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfyre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfyre/32/9972_2.png) [@Shadowfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfyre)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/44 "2001-10-08T16:46:00Z")
I always hesitate in a thread like this because I’m always afraid the people might see it. But since they won’t be able to figure out who I am… I once knew a Steven Peters and a Peter Stevens. They didn’t know each other. Not really funny, but rather odd. For a Cox riff: Know a guy, Randy Cox. That should go over well with the homosexual British. Also, I knew a girl in grade school. Joy Coxhead. Poor girl. Were her parents that clueless? When my wife was pregnant, I did my best to make sure to pick a name that was rather difficult to make fun of. Luckily I have a last name that is difficult to make fun of already, so I was half way there. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/45 "2001-10-08T16:47:35Z")
One of my friends is named Sarah. She’s engaged to a young man by the last name of Rera. She’s going to be keeping her own last name once they’re married… can you imagine being Sarah Rera? (…bo berra, fee fi fo ferra, me mi mo mera, Sarah Rera!) ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/46 "2001-10-08T16:49:08Z")
**Philosophocles** , Buckshot Jones’ real name is Roy. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/47 "2001-10-08T16:51:45Z")
I was shown \*\* Henauder Titzhoff’s\*\* name in the Waco phonebook. Went to school there with a \*\* Constance Cummings\*\*. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/48 "2001-10-08T19:00:10Z")
My grandmother’s name is **Merk Eula**. For many years in the Atlanta phonebook there was a **Straiton Hard**. Later joined by (presumably) his son, **Straiton Hard Jr.** ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/49 "2001-10-08T19:18:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blur \* > \*\*I once worked at an insurance company, and one of the insured’s name was Fu Kin Hung. \*\* Thank you, Blur; you jogged my memory of a waiter at the Tropicana in Vegas whose name was Dung. And a friend of mine had a student whose last name was DeCunto. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/50 "2001-10-08T19:45:40Z")
Years ago, I worked for an insurance company, and one of our clients was a Korean-American doctor named… Yoo-suck Kim. How a guy can go through life being addressed as “Yoo-suck” every day is beyond me. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/51 "2001-10-08T19:47:55Z")
Definitely **Elwood “Woody” Johnson.** There was a guy in my high school with the unimaginative name of **Robert Roberts**. When I was a teenager, I saw a game show hosted by Wink Martindale (not the joke, but a weird name in itself; I think he’s really Winston or something) on which one contestant’s name was **Charlie McCarthy**. Wink made the obvious joke, to which the man blandly replied to the effect that he’d heard it about a million times. Then Wink looked into the camera and said, “Looks like **I’m** the dummy!” Ha ha ha ha. Oh, yeah, and then there was my friend’s boyfriend **Richie Cunningham**. He insisted on going by “Richie” but hated all the “Where’s Potsie?” jokes. Why bring trouble on yourself? ---
**Author:** ![GreatKingRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@GreatKingRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreatKingRat)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/52 "2001-10-08T19:50:53Z")
Former Seattle mariner Dick Pole ---
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/53 "2001-10-08T20:06:36Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by lieu \* > I was shown \*\* Henauder Titzhoff’s_\* name in the Waco phonebook. I found **Heywood Jablome** in the Albany phone book about 10 years ago, but I don’t believe it was real. ---
**Author:** ![naughty\_wicked\_zoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@naughty\_wicked\_zoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naughty_wicked_zoot)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/54 "2001-10-08T20:20:56Z")
went to high school with Rod Moorehead, and his sister Cheri. and since this was the south, her name was “cherry”, not “sher-RIE”, like the way it should have been pronounced. i also went to high school with twins named LaTrina and Septeria. don’t know where those names came from, but i think they were unfortunate enough. ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/55 "2001-10-08T23:52:09Z")
New kid on my Little League team, fresh off the boat from India: Sunhil Dikshit. ---
**Author:** ![kirk280980](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c77e96/32.png) [@kirk280980](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kirk280980)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/56 "2001-10-09T02:12:43Z")
Above a shop doorway in the South of England, a sign displaying the proprietor’s name as a Mr Bastard! My mother pointed it out, and we pissed ourselves laughing. Looking through the phone book later at home, I saw he was listed in there as well. I bet he didn’t look forward to telling people his name. Probably pronounced it B’stard or something to save face. Last year, when my partner and I were visiting Florida, I couldn’t resist looking through the phone book in the hotel room. I went straight to the W section to find one unfortunate soul with the surname Wankoff. I quite like that one actually 😃 Working in retail, I come across customers with all sorts of weird names. Mrs Cowmeadow stands out. Oh, and Mrs Shaglady. Hate to think what her job was. And folks with the surname Death, although they pronounce it De-Ath usually. Mr Tickle just rolled his eyes when I asked for his name, and Mrs Slapper cringed (in the UK, slapper means whore/slut/tramp). Never will I complain about my own surname again. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/57 "2001-10-09T13:10:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > There was a guy in my high school with the unimaginative name of **Robert Roberts**. Hey, I know him! He posts on another message board I visit. I wonder if it’s the same one. ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/58 "2001-10-09T13:46:57Z")
I once worked with a guy whose given name was Harold Peter. I also worked with a woman whose last name was Knauf. She told me that she came _that_ close to naming her son “Jack.” Just before she wrote it on the birth certificate her brother took her aside to enlighten her. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/59 "2001-10-09T14:04:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amazing Tiki God \* > \*\*I knew a kid named Mike Hunt. No one ever really gave him a hard time for his name. There was the occasional chuckle at it but nothing mean. \*\* So did I. Fortunately, his parents owned a Smitty’s restaurant, so as a matter of coruse he was invariably referred to as “Smitty,” thus avoiding his horrible name. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2001, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/60 "2001-10-09T14:07:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jmonster \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by lieu \* > > I was shown \*\* Henauder Titzhoff’s_\* name in the Waco phonebook. > > I found **Heywood Jablome** in the Albany phone book about 10 years ago, but I don’t believe it was real. \*\* Oh, and there was a “Jablowmee, Heywood” in the Kingston, ON phone book this year. It was a prank. Bell Canada was allowing people to sign up for phone numbers online and it made it through to the phone book. I also knew a guy in school named **"Evan Evans."** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913.md?page=4)