# Worst Names Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2001, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913 "2001-10-07T10:05:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Theobroma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@Theobroma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theobroma)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/81 "2001-10-11T18:08:23Z")
Booklover- careful, I work in a hospital too and you really can’t do that. Of course, first names only ought to be okay, and my favorite of all time is LaTreen. We wondered if she had a brother John. (snort) Some of these names are making me laugh out loud! Let’s see, I knew a Mary Christmas, April Showers, and Ricky & Vicky Ricketts, twins. All nice folks, and none from the hospital. 😉 We had a bright and friendly student in our midst, with the unfortunate name of Mai Duong. The operator refused to page her overhead. I’m sure I’ll think of more, as soon as I turn off the computer. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/82 "2001-10-12T11:54:27Z")
Well, if you’re British then this guy’s name just gets funnier and funnier: Randy Bender [http://www.novell.com/education/cde/features/randy.html](http://www.novell.com/education/cde/features/randy.html) There is a football player called Argelico Fucks who now plays for Benfica. When he moved to Benfica, Eurosport (European sports TV network) had this headline on their site: Fucks off to Benfica [http://www.eurosport.com/News.asp?StoryID=102878&SportID=22&FetchDate=2001-06-06&LangueID=0](http://www.eurosport.com/News.asp?StoryID=102878&SportID=22&FetchDate=2001-06-06&LangueID=0) ---
**Author:** ![dlb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@dlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dlb)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/83 "2001-10-12T15:40:47Z")
Are there **no** texans on this board? Surely one of the most famous unfortunate names is Ima Hogg, daughter of Governor James Stephen Hogg. She is a well known philanthropist and patron of the arts in Texas. Upon her death, she established the Ima Hogg Foundation in 1964. There is an urban legend that she had a sister, Ura. Not true. I looked it up. Everyone who met her said “Miss Ima” was a gracious, intelligent, truly lovely lady of the old school. It is possible to turn out well with a bad name. ---
**Author:** ![Bindlestiff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Bindlestiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bindlestiff)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/84 "2001-10-12T16:15:48Z")
When I was a Linguistics student, a professor told us about a study he did on proper nouns. A side issue that developed was interesting first names. Turns out that there are a remarkable number of women in the U.S. named for female genetalia; first names like, Labia, Vulva, Clitoris, Vagina… Can you imagine growing up and finding out what your name means? They tend to be names that show up in welfare rolls later in life. My daughter was born on a Navy base in Charleston S.C. I don’t remeber the name of the attending physician but I never forget the name of the OB/GYN in the next office. He was Dr. Finger. I new a guy whose sister was named Lynn Mia Nickle. When I worked for a state health department we discovered a child on the immunization records named Positive Wasserman “Jones” (not the real last name) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/85 "2001-10-12T17:11:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigGiantHead \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Whammo \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by kniz \* > > > \*\*… Unfortunately his name was **C.D. Lemons** … > > > \*\* > > > > I dont get it. > > \*\* > > I’m getting ‘seedy lemons’ from that. Don’t think it has anything to do with pie. > > I remember hearing, many moons ago, about a man with the family surname of Duck. Apparently, in a fit of misplaced pragmatism, he actually named his son Donald, because “that’s what everyone’s going to call him anyway.” Talk about making life hard on a guy! > > And no, I have no quote or source for the above. > > - Dave (whose own last name is a 9-letter pain in the royal butt) \*\* Wasn’t Donald Duck the head of Marketing for all of IBM?? I don’t get the C.D. Lemons thing, either. Sounds like the guy who sold me a used car once, though. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/86 "2001-10-12T17:25:12Z")
Peter O’Toole. ---
**Author:** ![DaveX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/96bed5/32.png) [@DaveX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaveX)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/87 "2001-10-12T17:39:56Z")
This one has the added bonus of being an actually human being, as well… Fonda Cox ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/88 "2001-10-12T23:45:49Z")
My family was friends with a couple when I was very young; I don’t recall the last lame, but they had named their two daughters (first and middle name) Triana Brook and Arial Valley. Of course, some of us have odd names on purpose. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/89 "2001-10-12T23:49:24Z")
Oops… \*name. -Jin (Who is routinely called Jim when anyone is reading her name off a paper, and startles the person when a female walks up.) ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/90 "2001-10-13T01:49:18Z")
My best friends family bought their house from Richard Beiter. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/91 "2001-10-18T01:35:57Z")
A friend of mine worked for a fella that was the head of a major sports shoe company. His bosses name, a guy. – Sandy Semen. ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/92 "2001-10-18T01:51:48Z")
I worked with a guy named **Harry Dangler.**'Bout the funniest name I ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![labradorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@labradorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labradorian)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/93 "2001-10-18T02:24:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bindlestiff \* > **When I was a Linguistics student, a professor told us about a study he did on proper nouns. A side issue that developed was interesting first names. Turns out that there are a remarkable number of women in the U.S. named for female genetalia; first names like, Labia, Vulva, Clitoris, Vagina** /GATE AGENT/ Paging passenger Vagina Smith. Vagina Smith, please see the Indiana Airways agent at gate 32. /V.S./ My name is Va-GEEEE-na! Va-GEEEEEEEE-na! **Margaret Moyston-Cumming** works with Health Canada. Not sure if she still is, but she at least used to be a reproductive health analyst. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/94 "2001-11-05T23:05:06Z")
All I can say is, if _my_ name were [John Dickson Stufflebeem](http://www.chinfo.navy.mil/navpalib/people/flags/biographies/stufflebeemjd.html), there is no way I would join the Navy. And even if I did, I would refuse the promotion that made me a **Rear** Admiral. But maybe I’m just oversensitive. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/95 "2001-11-06T00:42:57Z")
There’s a family in the town I grew up in whose last name was Deadman, which is bad enough, but they owned a Funeral Home. I went to school with a Peter Reeter. ---
**Author:** ![Medievalist2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19adc/32.png) [@Medievalist2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medievalist2)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/96 "2001-11-08T07:56:00Z")
Bunt Moon Ben Dover My brother went to high school with a boy named Sang Fuc. I went to high school with a girl named Yang Pak. That wouldn’t be so bad, except that the name Yang means “six” (because she was the sixth child in the family). People called her “Six Pack.” She didn’t seem to mind. My best friend in elementary school had the last name Kirk. People called us Kirk and Spock. ---
**Author:** ![Osakadave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f07891/32.png) [@Osakadave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osakadave)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/97 "2001-11-08T09:24:52Z")
If one opens up the possibilities to include names of places and businesses, the central area of Japan known as “kinki” (yes, pronounced “kinky”) is a winner. My personal favorite is the “Kinki Love Hotel”. ---
**Author:** ![buddy1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@buddy1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddy1)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/98 "2001-11-08T13:53:10Z")
Has ANYBODY ACTUALLY named a male child “Algernon”? I can’t imagine a worse moniker than that!! ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/99 "2001-11-08T14:36:13Z")
I work at a national credit bureau, and I have files and files of people with some of the worst/best names ever. I make sure I keep them around for future use: Genghis Kahn, Jr… once wrote in to have us straighten out his file because he was mixed up with Genghis Kahn, Sr! Anita Dick once wrote in. Feel Good dropped us a line once. Dick Wood too. Dick Bulger as well. Phuc Long who lives in Longwood, FL. Elmer Christ wrote us. Sue Hiscock called. Rose Ballin Goodman too. Christine Kuntz Elmer Stucker Virginia Beach (by marriage) Velvet Busch Jimmy Fuchs Jim Stiffey X called and sued us. Manly Johnson (who lists himself as "self employed) Igor Fishkin I have files on all these folks. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/100 "2001-11-08T15:07:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dlb \* > \*\*Are there **no** texans on this board? > > Surely one of the most famous unfortunate names is Ima Hogg, daughter of Governor James Stephen Hogg. She is a well known philanthropist and patron of the arts in Texas. Upon her death, she established the Ima Hogg Foundation in 1964. > > There is an urban legend that she had a sister, Ura. Not true. I looked it up. > > Everyone who met her said “Miss Ima” was a gracious, intelligent, truly lovely lady of the old school. It is possible to turn out well with a bad name. \*\* I grew up in Texas, so I heard about Miss Ima (as well as the false rumors of sisters named Ura and Wera). You’d think that kind of unfortunate thing wouldn’t be done today, but…how about Mia Hamm? Also I knew a Steele Beam, a Crystal White, and an April May. Clever parents. :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913.md?page=6)