# Worst Names Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2001, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913 "2001-10-07T10:05:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/101 "2001-11-08T18:37:02Z")
Working in a store, I met a guy whose last name was Whacker. This led me to ponder the endless annoyance of having an odd name. In roll call, he had to answer for Whacker. Whacker was written on all his uniforms. When people want to be respectful to this man, they call him Mr. Whacker. ---
**Author:** ![djbdjb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@djbdjb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djbdjb)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/102 "2001-11-08T19:20:58Z")
I have a cousin named Knight who named her daughter Rainy Summer. My mother swears she once found a “Hepatitis Jackson” listed in LA phone book. Finally, after reading this thread, we should all pop in the tape(?) of the SNL skit with Nicholas Cage and Victoria Jackson where NC keeps finding excuses not to name the new baby any of VJ’s suggestions. At the end of the skit, gets a package addressed to Mr. Asswipe (that’s Ahs-WEE-pay). ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/103 "2001-11-08T20:14:16Z")
AAAghhh, my sides hurt! On our city council we have a **Jew Don Boney**. How do you top that? It’s Jew Don Boney, Jr. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/104 "2001-11-09T00:45:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Philster \* > **Anita Dick once wrote in.** Did I mention (this thread is getting long) that I once ran across an Anita Bonar? Anita makes a good first name, as Stitt makes a good last name. The one I **cannot** figure out is a performance artist whose name I heard several years ago: [Akilah Blakwomyn](http://www.santosart.com/mask.html). How, pray tell, does this NOT sound like “I’ll kill a black woman”? Doesn’t this offend _anyone_?? Is this a given name? An intentionally taken one? Why in the WORLD hasn’t she changed it to something less offensive? It’s like Akickah Dekytteez. Ick. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Damage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@Mister\_Damage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Damage)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/105 "2001-11-09T06:08:20Z")
What, does no-one remember Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo? (“that’s the worst name I ever heard” - Moe) Personally, I always felt bad for the former Japanese Prime Minister Takeshita ---
**Author:** ![Justin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ab097/32.png) [@Justin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/106 "2001-11-09T18:41:36Z")
TRUE STORY… While at the hospital for a broken arm, i over heard a black woman with a small child at the reception desk. during check in, the nurse asked the childs name. “Sha Thead” replied the woman. The nurse asked her to spell it. “S-H-I-T-H-E-A-D” replied the mother. Shithead…the child is destined for a horrible life. Also, there was a girl i went to high school whos first name was pronounced Dee O Gee. However, it was spelled Dogg. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/107 "2001-11-10T00:00:40Z")
I went to high school with a girl named Dwendolyn D. Daggett. We just called her Dwen. ---
**Author:** ![Medievalist2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19adc/32.png) [@Medievalist2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medievalist2)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/108 "2001-11-10T00:48:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Scarlett67 > There was a guy in my high school with the unimaginative name of **Robert Roberts**. I read in a “Texas History” column in my local newspaper about a man who lived in Texas in the 1800’s whose name was “James James.” His last name (family name) was James, and his first name was James, too. He didn’t have a middle name. His nickname was “Double Jimmy.” ---
**Author:** ![Medievalist2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19adc/32.png) [@Medievalist2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medievalist2)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/109 "2001-11-10T00:52:41Z")
I’m a Texan. I know all about Ima Hogg, and the urban legend about her sister, Ura. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dlb \* > \*\*Are there **no** texans on this board? > > Surely one of the most famous unfortunate names is Ima Hogg, daughter of Governor James Stephen Hogg. She is a well known philanthropist and patron of the arts in Texas. Upon her death, she established the Ima Hogg Foundation in 1964. > > There is an urban legend that she had a sister, Ura. Not true. I looked it up. > > Everyone who met her said “Miss Ima” was a gracious, intelligent, truly lovely lady of the old school. It is possible to turn out well with a bad name. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Medievalist2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19adc/32.png) [@Medievalist2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medievalist2)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/110 "2001-11-10T00:56:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GuanoLad \* > \*\*One of the customers where i work has recently changed his name to… > > Cloud Of Unknowing > > Clearly the guy is a grade 1 moron. His Credit Card says Cloud O. Unknowing. > > He is our office Dickhead of the Month. \*\* Is that man a medievalist? The Cloud of Unknowing is the name of a famous medieval religious treatise. ---
**Author:** ![emorphien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@emorphien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emorphien)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/111 "2001-11-10T01:31:35Z")
Its not Hue Jass, its Hugh Jass, sounds the same, but Hugh is a real name you doof! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/112 "2001-11-10T05:20:54Z")
I went to school with Ronald McDonald. No, really. He didn’t even have orange hair then…go figure!?! When we questioned why his parents would have saddled him with that name, we discovered McDonalds hadn’t started the Ronald campaign when he was born. My mom also told me that she knew a guy named Hollowpeter who married a gal named Longerbone. Sorry, no cites there! ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/113 "2001-11-10T20:58:15Z")
I went to high school with a girl named Charity Muff. Popular girl. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/114 "2001-11-10T23:45:55Z")
**Crunchy Frog** went to school with a girl named Velvett Beavers. [sub]I saw the yearbook entry[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2001, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/115 "2001-11-11T06:40:49Z")
I’m a vision screening tech for the district’s elementary schools. You can imagine the names I see every day. Some of my recent favorites: SirJohn Governur Millhouse (this one really stuck with me!) Titi’kaka Floribama Goneria (just reminds me of an STD) Mr. C (I asked him why his name was Mr. C and he said his momma already had a Clarence Jr.) Exclamation! (with the exclamation point), who had sisters named Temptation, Lonjer’a, (yes, pronounced like Ladies’ Lingerie) and Heavenleigh. Last name Lee. What really gets me is the weird spellings of common names or the names that could be pronounced a number of ways, yet the kids get all irate when you mispronounce. Of all the names I’ve seen, Wanda’full Williams is my favorite. It’s just so darn cheerful. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2001, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/116 "2001-11-11T07:27:39Z")
Here in town there is a Dr. Slaughter - a dentist. I haven’t decided if that’s appropriate or not. While working at H&R Block, I came across a number of doozies, but only one has stuck in my mind. Virginious “Smith.” Now there’s a boy who’s going to learn to fight early. There is also the Funking Conservatory, run by Dori & Marty Funk. Be real careful saying that; it’s a school for professional wrestlers. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/117 "2001-11-12T00:25:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > **All I can say is, if _my_ name were [John Dickson Stufflebeem](http://www.chinfo.navy.mil/navpalib/people/flags/biographies/stufflebeemjd.html)** Hey, that’s Robert Hoover from _Animal House_! ---
**Author:** ![BalmainBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@BalmainBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BalmainBoy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/118 "2001-11-12T01:28:48Z")
A well-known TV chef in Britain is Nigella Lawson. She has one sibling, a sister called Thomasina. Dontcha think they have realised their parents were waiting for sons [to call them Nigel and Thomas], but ended up with a couple of girls instead? How depressing it must be for them. ---
**Author:** ![shimmery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@shimmery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shimmery)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/119 "2001-11-12T03:36:55Z")
My best friend’s dentist used to be, not sure of the spelling on this, Dr. Shlockter. My brother’s best friend has an uncle named Richard Head. ---
**Author:** ![Chickenhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Chickenhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chickenhead)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/120 "2001-11-12T05:22:20Z")
Shitty McItchfuck. That’s an _awful_ name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913.md?page=7)