# Worst Names Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2001, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913 "2001-10-07T10:05:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/121 "2001-11-12T05:41:25Z")
Stu Pedasso. I knew a lady named Petti Cash and she was a bookeeper. I met Frank Footer once. Not exactly the worst name but I met a woman with my identical name once. We both looked at each other and said “Oh _you’re_ the one” ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/122 "2001-11-12T08:20:32Z")
I can’t believe everybody has forgotten David Letterman’s [Top Ten list](http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/archive/ls_topten_archive1996/ls_topten_19960507.shtml) from awhile ago: Favorite California Names… each person came out and said their name while a copy of their California driver’s license was shown to prove it really was their name: 10- Dick Hertz 9- Phil McCracken 8- Anita Legg 7- Harry Dong 6- George Tittman 5- Justa Duck 4- Dick Weed 3- Teddy Bair 2- Harry Bush And the number one Favorite California name: 1- Dick Head And also Letterman got lots of mileage out of Joey Buttafucco and [Dick Assman!](http://www.nationalpost.com/content/features/festivals/080299a.html) Dick Assman sells gas for a living, no joke. ---
**Author:** ![Philosophocles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Philosophocles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philosophocles)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/123 "2001-11-12T08:46:48Z")
How about NFL football player Stalin Colinet? Who names their kid after a brutal dictator? It would have to be tough going through life with the name of a brutal dictator (or an infamous serial killer or child molestor, for that matter, unless it is a very common name). Imagine the awkward social situations: “What’s your name, sir?” “Bob Hitler” “Hitler, the doctor will see you now.” “Yes, I’d like to order a large pepperoni and mushroom for carryout.” “Great, and your name sir?” “Hitler” “Damn pranksters.” (pizza guy hangs up) ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/124 "2001-11-12T18:09:51Z")
Names to add: The unfortunate brother of Mike Hunt: Rock My mother’s college roomate: Fonda Dix My childhood sweetheart: Peter Seeman Once upon a time in the heady days of law school we took our perverted Civ Pro teacher’s seating chart and proceeded to give everyone an obscene name… Some of my favorites were: Ivana Vackoff, Pearl Nicklaus,P. Niss… Of course once the prof realized who the pranksters were, he referred to them by their obscene names the rest of the semester. As Fonda Dix I did, in fact, become hugely popular with the males in my class… ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/125 "2001-11-12T18:19:23Z")
I went to elementary school with a pair of twins named Kay and Gay Cox. I guess they didn’t want to rhyme Kay with Fay. Speaking of terrible, rather than just suggestive, names, I was named after my two grandfathers. I’m NOT, but could have been named Ira Hubert (last name). shudder! ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/126 "2001-11-13T12:27:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by KneadToKnow \* > > **All I can say is, if _my_ name were [John Dickson Stufflebeem](http://www.chinfo.navy.mil/navpalib/people/flags/biographies/stufflebeemjd.html)** > > Hey, that’s Robert Hoover from _Animal House_! \*\* Her father is a well-known politician called Nigel. Actually that’s an ancient Roman practice, eg Flavius would call his daughter Flavia, etc etc. A guy at work had an associate called **Judson Scrotum**. His daughter was called Louise Scrotum or something, which isn’t any worse, but proves it was the real family name and not a nickname. ---
**Author:** ![Tixenfleaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9a140/32.png) [@Tixenfleaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tixenfleaz)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/127 "2001-11-14T00:01:54Z")
I went to high school with a girl named Celia Wilner. She was supremely hot, but her name reminded me of bending metal. While studying Tae Kwon Do I met two young immigrant Vietnamese brothers with the unfortunate names of Dung and Dong. I doubt it was much of a problem though. They were fierce little bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/128 "2001-11-14T00:41:24Z")
Well…[this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1817257#post1817257) was supposed to go here. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Satori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@Satori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satori)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/129 "2001-11-14T05:16:16Z")
Went to school with a guy named Pino Porco (pronounced pee-no pork-o). How cruel is that? Also did telemarketing work for a while and compiled a list of what I considered unfortunate-named from the phone lists I had to work with. Some of the more memorable are: Woo Suck Criselda Calaycay Norah Boner Bezinda Bowkowy Jennifer Sliming Renata Wiggers Philippa Hung Tania Grabalowski Rotraut Bender Wish I could make stuff like this up. But then, a rose by any other name… right? ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913/130 "2001-11-16T20:00:23Z")
In North Carolina, there’s a Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-names-ever/85913.md?page=6)