# Worst Novel Of All Time! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036 "2000-09-05T03:07:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/21 "2000-09-05T22:55:14Z")
> [@](#): > > The Regulators by Stephen King. I loved this book. It was the only one by King that has ever scared me in anyway. Mainly because the book is almost exactly what my nightmares are like. So, I would have a nightmare, wake up read the book, go to sleep and have another nightmare, and it would be like I never woke up at all. I don’t really have anything else to contribute to this thread, because I have never met a book I didn’t like. And if I disliked a book on the 1st reading, I re-read it about a year later to pick up on things i may have missed bore. > [@](#): > > ``` > Low-end—A friend in Romance Publishing gave me a Harlequin Romance once; I thought maybe I'd write one and > earn some freelance cash. I got through, I think, ONE chapter before chucking it out the window. > > ``` I used to read these in 4th-7th grade. I thought they were great. I recently read another one, because hey, they used to be great. Oh, it was horrible! I could pull a better novel out of my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Amok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Amok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amok)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/22 "2000-09-05T22:55:21Z")
I’d have to go with **Looking Backward: 2000 - 1887** by Edward Bellamy. I’m sure most of you have never heard of it (for good reason), but apparently it was quite popular at the end of the 19th century in the US, being one of the top selling books of its time. I read it in a college class on utopian literature, and we all commented on how bad the fictional elements of it were. Of course, in a utopian novel the fictional parts are usually just there to make the philosophy more accessable, or perhaps serve as an example of how the philosophy would better people, and it’s not like **News From Nowhere** or **Walden Two** (which I also read in that class, among others) were literary classics, but even within that context it was just plain bad. I don’t even remember what Bellamy’s idea of a utopia was anymore, just the horribly cliched dialogue and plot. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/23 "2000-09-05T23:16:48Z")
Anything by Arthur C. Clarke when he polluted himself by collaborating with the no-account Gentry Lee. The so-called sequel to the Diaspar-Lys saga which was published under their names is a meandering, pointless affront to my memory of “The City And The Stars”. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/24 "2000-09-05T23:38:44Z")
Javaman, Remember Rama II, I nearly threw up! ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/25 "2000-09-05T23:49:54Z")
javaman writes: \> Anything by Arthur C. Clarke when he polluted himself by \> collaborating with the no-account Gentry Lee. The so- \> called sequel to the Diaspar-Lys saga which was published \> under their names is a meandering, pointless affront to \> my memory of “The City And The Stars”. Aren’t you thinking of _Beyond the Fall of Night_ by Clarke and Gregory Benford? It’s a sequel to _Against the Fall of Night_. Clarke wrote and published two versions of this novel. First, he wrote _Against the Fall of Night_. Four years after it was published, he completely rewrote it. It was published under the title _The City and the Stars_. It’s arguable which version is the best. (I prefer _Against the Fall of Night_.) Decades later, Gregory Benford came to Clarke and said that he wanted to cowrite a sequel to _Against the Fall of Night_. This was published as _Beyond the Fall of Night_. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/26 "2000-09-05T23:51:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Montfort \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by missbunny \* > > \*\*One of the worst I’ve ever read was **The Secret History** by Donna Tartt. \*\* > > **Wow** , I _love_ this novel. I mean, I’ve read it almost ten times now, and her writing is a major influence on my own. > > You’re the first person I’ve encountered who’s hated it. I’ve met quite a few people who feel as passionately about it as I do, but never anyone who disliked it as much as you. > > I can’t wait for her next novel, which is supposedly due out this fall… \*\* I think _The Secret History_ is fantastic as well. Beautiful writing; one of the only books (along with _Catch-22_ and Tom Robbins’s collective _oeuvre_) that I can turn to any page in and start reading. The worst book I’ve read recently was, regrettably, _Watch Your Mouth_ by Daniel Handler. I _ **loved** _ his first book, _The Basic Eight_, which I recommend to everyone. But _Watch Your Mouth_, a self-proclaimed “incest comedy,” was pretty well incomprehensible and it made me extremely uncomfortable as well. I couldn’t bring myself to finish it, no matter how amazing his first book was. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/27 "2000-09-06T00:15:20Z")
The worst fiction book I ever read was a Star Wars novel… _The New Jedi Order: Vector Prime_, by R.A. Salvatore. I hated it for two reasons… A: He didn’t have any grasp of Star Wars jargon/mechanics, and B: The son-of-a-bitch killed Chewbacca. I mourned Chewie’s loss for weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Gomez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d78d45/32.png) [@Gomez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gomez)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/28 "2000-09-06T00:19:28Z")
I like almost everything I read but I have to say that I can’t stand James Patterson, the guy just doesn’t have any talent, he was just lucky enough to stumble onto the psychological thriller genre just when it was at it’s most popular. Also I read Hard Times by Charles Dickens as part of my English course and I have to say that it is without doubt the most dull, depressing, morbid, bleak, humourless, prosaic and downright boring piece of crap I’ve ever read. A memorial service should be held for all the trees which sacrificed their lives for this appalling, pointless waste of time. Words cannot express my absolute loathing for this ridiculous “satire” so I’ll stop now but I’ll just say it’s put me off Dickens for a long, long time. Also, what’s the big deal about Catch-22? It’s quite good and very funny in parts but I don’t know how it became a classic. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/29 "2000-09-06T00:26:03Z")
John Grisham has gotten worse and i was extremely disappointed with the ending of THE RAINMAKER and THE TESTAMENT even thoUgh i did like THE STREET LAWYER. i am really tired of V.C Andrews, her plots all blend together, for instance: evil grandmothers, shallow, beautiful, and selfish mothers in the cutler and dollanganger series. alcoholism, incest, and abuse, ad infinitum… plus she has been dead for about ten years and has posthumously published several more series. douglas coupland is so overrated, i can’t stand it. i do not undertand how danielle steele manages to write so much pablum, i flipped thru one of her poetry books “bleah!” the trash i cannot help reading is jackie collins, i know it is crap but i cannot help it! ---
**Author:** ![rs0522](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9a28c/32.png) [@rs0522](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rs0522)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/30 "2000-09-06T01:10:53Z")
Did you by any chance go to the University of Wisconsin-Madison? I took a course on utopian literature there and read the same books. Ignore this if it feels like I’m stalking you. ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/31 "2000-09-06T01:16:57Z")
The Testament was a huge disappointment. The ending was awful. Well, the whole book was pretty much awful. No more Grisham for me. I read a V.C. Andrews book from cover to cover once. Horrified fascination compelled me to persevere- could it possibly get worse?? Yes, it could. And it did. Tabithina ---
**Author:** ![iksova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/59ef9b/32.png) [@iksova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iksova)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/32 "2000-09-06T01:57:25Z")
I’m embarrassed to admit that I read about 6 Catherine Cookson novels before I realised that they’re all the same. Right now I’m reading Gormanghast. I love/hate it. The guy is so descriptive that I’m glued…the colours of the book glow, but its the middle of the second book and I’m still waiting for something to happen. ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/33 "2000-09-06T02:21:11Z")
Hey, how about starting a LET’S TRASH JOHN GRISHMAN thread? ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/34 "2000-09-06T02:22:23Z")
I really hated Silas Marner . I was just soooo dull and pointless . The worst book was a piece of crap that I can’t remember the name of . It was about a guy who bred a giant preying Mantis ( about 8ft )and used it to carry out his revenge . It was the most hate filled bucket of pigs vomit I ever read . ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/35 "2000-09-06T05:10:16Z")
I’ve never read a John Grisham novel. But when I was in high school, my friends and I would hang out at a local coffee shop which boasted an “honor system” book exchange. One day we happened to find a copy of The Pelican Brief there, and since I was bored, I started reading it. I think I read about a page before I started laughing - the prose was that bad. I read a few paragraphs aloud and my friends were equally amused at how hideous it was. The stupid book became a running joke between us; something truly horrible was “like the Pelican Brief.” The movie sucks too, and makes zero amount of sense. Complete waste of Denzel Washington’s talents. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/37 "2000-09-06T14:26:33Z")
Geez, I must have been reading a different version of **The Secret History** from y’all! I did like the beginning - I can’t remember how far exactly, since I read it about 7 years ago - but overall I thought it was really bad. IMO, there were too many “set-ups” that were never resolved. I did think that _stylistically_ the book was very well written, but I thought the story was unfinished. I think Winona Ryder was once pegged to be in the movie - with her single expression - “deer-in-the-headlights” - she would have been perfect. I do agree that **Hannibal** sucked big time. But **y** , I LOVED **Hawaii**! Michener is one of my favorite authors of all time - I’ve read almost everything he’s written - many times over - and I love all of it. I am pretty sure that **V. C. Andrews** was a man. **Flowers in the Attic** and all those other books are an embarrassment to bookbinding glue everywhere. But they were certainly popular, so I guess people will pay for anything under the right circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/38 "2000-09-06T14:38:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by missbunny \* > \*\*Geez, I must have been reading a different version of **The Secret History** from y’all! I did like the beginning - I can’t remember how far exactly, since I read it about 7 years ago - but overall I thought it was really bad. IMO, there were too many “set-ups” that were never resolved. I did think that _stylistically_ the book was very well written, but I thought the story was unfinished. \*\* Unfinished, eh? I didn’t want it to finish, and it took a few readings to accept the ending it does have (which I won’t mention since I hope a few people lurking here give it a read). The last page or so (the narrator’s dream) is a brilliant ending. I think I’m about due for my annual re-reading of it… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/39 "2000-09-06T14:56:17Z")
Dean Koontz wrote a pile of kindling called Tick Tock. It was purely awful. I left it on the plane when I finished it. I have never been more disappointed in a book. ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/40 "2000-09-06T14:56:55Z")
V.C. Andrews is a lot like L. Ron Hubbard – not even death can stop her from churning out one crappy book after another. [Pretend to be your favorite V.C. Andrews character!](http://www.angelfire.com/va/vcroleplay/) ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/41 "2000-09-06T15:09:30Z")
Catcher in the Rye. It sucks. sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. Angela Ashes- I finished this book and then burned it. what a horrible book. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036.md?page=3)