# Worst Novel Of All Time! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036 "2000-09-05T03:07:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/42 "2000-09-06T15:44:05Z")
Some of these replies are really interesting. I suppose you have to have a certain sense of humor to enjoy **_Catcher in the Rye_** or **_Angela’s Ashes_** because I thought those books were hilarious and clever. Anyway, I would have to vote for **_Bridges of Madison County_** - I read the book in 20 minutes, threw it across the room and proceeded to berate my brother-in-law’s brother who gave me the book and told me it was great. I also hate **_The Horse Whisperer_** and all those other “delayed airplane” books that you have to buy because airport gift shops never stock anything good. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/43 "2000-09-06T15:58:03Z")
Sax—you don’t mean you go to the airport without at least TWO books in your bag?! ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/44 "2000-09-06T16:04:58Z")
_Slaves of New York_. I don’t know how this book was so highly touted. Awful, awful stuff. And add me to the list of people who didn’t like _Catcher in the Rye_. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/45 "2000-09-06T16:13:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wendell Wagner \* > \*\*javaman writes: > > \> Anything by Arthur C. Clarke when he polluted himself by > \> collaborating with the no-account Gentry Lee. The so- > \> called sequel to the Diaspar-Lys saga which was published > \> under their names is a meandering, pointless affront to > \> my memory of “The City And The Stars”. > > Aren’t you thinking of _Beyond the Fall of Night_ by Clarke and Gregory Benford? It’s a sequel to _Against the Fall of Night_. > > Clarke wrote and published two versions of this novel. First, he wrote _Against the Fall of Night_. Four years after it was published, he completely rewrote it. It was published under the title _The City and the Stars_. It’s arguable which version is the best. (I prefer _Against the Fall of Night_.) Decades later, Gregory Benford came to Clarke and said that he wanted to cowrite a sequel to _Against the Fall of Night_. This was published as _Beyond the Fall of Night_. \*\* Whoops, you nailed me, man. But I have seen Clarke/Lee collaborations (e.g. Venus Prime) that were way, way, way, WAAYYYY below Clarke’s solo output in quality. Maybe Gentry Lee is better by himself, too. ---
**Author:** ![Ptahlis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a8b319/32.png) [@Ptahlis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ptahlis)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/46 "2000-09-06T16:16:26Z")
Gotta go with Smeghead on this one. The worst thing I have ever read has to be the “Mission Earth” series. As above, I can only say that it has to be read before you can ever truly appreciate the incredible lack of literary talent this man had. Another piece of fiction I gagged on was “Interview With a Vampire.” What I wanted was a neat piece of vampire fluff, and what I got was a thinly disguised homo-erotic romance novel. Unfortunately, the freshly purchased series of (then) 3 books were among those I packed when I was off to Desert Storm, so I had little else available. As far as “literature” goes, I have never been so thoroughly disappointed by anything as I was in “Catcher in the Rye.” I was never forced to read the thing in school, but had heard it mentioned so many times that I had to satisfy my curiosity. Blecchh! It’s only saving grace was that it was mercifully short. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/47 "2000-09-06T16:21:57Z")
The longer an Ayn Rand novel is, the worse it gets. Her short story _Anthem_ would pass as a minor not-too-great SF novella, but _Atlas Shrugged_- as we saw on an episode of _South Park_, it makes people sorry to be literate. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/48 "2000-09-06T16:24:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mojo \* > **_Slaves of New York_. I don’t know how this book was so highly touted. Awful, awful stuff.** I’d LOVE to be able to say that the collected works of the Three Stooges of the New York Literary Scene, 1980s edition…McInerny, Ellis, and Janowitz…are the worst crap ever published. But I never read any of them (their hype was enough to make me vomit; I didn’t want to compound the nausea by actually purchasing and reading their work), so it would be…intolerant and wrongheaded to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/49 "2000-09-06T16:37:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by missbunny \* > I think Winona Ryder was once pegged to be in the movie - with her single expression - “deer-in-the-headlights” - she would have been perfect. I don’t know about Winona Ryder (who would she play? Not Camilla), but Robert Sean Leonard was definitely pegged to star as Richard. The story I heard was that Tartt wanted only no-names in the cast, but when she heard Leonard’s rendition of the audio book, she liked it so much that she immediately wanted him for the role. (Though I guess these days you could have Robert Sean Leonard for the lead and _still_ have a cast comprised entirely of no-names. Too bad; I like him.) ---
**Author:** ![DennisKy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58f4c7/32.png) [@DennisKy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DennisKy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/50 "2000-09-06T16:41:52Z")
I can’t knock the writing all that much, but this is NOT the sort of book you want to read if you ALREADY have problems with depression. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/51 "2000-09-06T16:48:45Z")
The Wheel Of Time series. Overblown, pretensious hack writing. Each book is at least 700 pages long, and the series shows no sign of ending. I made it through book three before waking up from my self-induced bout of masocism. High end stinker: The Great Gatsby. ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/52 "2000-09-06T18:03:13Z")
Uke, I actually liked _Bright Lights, Big City_ but not enough to read anything else by McInerney. The movie though has no redeeming qualities. After reading Janowitz I closed the “New York Stooges” reading club for good. ---
**Author:** ![KevinLeeC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@KevinLeeC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KevinLeeC)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/53 "2000-09-06T18:21:14Z")
THE TREASURE BOX by Orson Scott Card. I thought it was an absolute betrayal of his talent. KC ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/54 "2000-09-06T18:45:14Z")
“I Will Fear No Evil”, by usually-dependable Robert Heinlein. Ghastly, dull, opinionated. The very first book I didn’t finish; what a liberating realization, that I didn’t have to finish every book I started! “Red Storm Rising”, by Tom Clancy. The Russkies invade Europe, get stopped in Germany, then sit there for hundreds of pages, until in the end a deus ex machina sets everything right again. Atrocious. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/55 "2000-09-06T18:46:01Z")
**Mojo:** Yeah, I’ve heard that from lots of other people whose book opinions I trust. I just don’t want to give the son-of-a-bitch any money. What if it was _my_ ten bucks (fractionally) that he noticed on his royalty statement that tipped McInerny over the edge into novel-writing again? I just don’t want it on my conscience. ---
**Author:** ![Scribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Scribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribe)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/56 "2000-09-06T18:49:46Z")
The Pickwick Papers, by Dickens (I couldn’t finish it. I kept saying to myself “This is supposed to be funny?”) I did like other Dickens books though. I also remember George Eliot being hard slogging too. ---
**Author:** ![All\_School](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@All\_School](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/All_School)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/57 "2000-09-06T19:00:41Z")
If there is a single more unreadable book in the English language, please keep it away from me. I was first conned into attempting to read this book years ago, while in college. I got about 50 pages into it, and quit. A few times over the years, after reading one literary paean to Thomas Pynchon or another, I tried to read it again. Maybe I missed something, I thought, not realizing that the book was so horrible my memory had probably purged the previous attempts as a way of trying to protect me from my unfortunate choice in literature. Every time I see some literary snob allude to the genius of Thomas Pynchon, and especially his “masterpiece,” (sic) Gravity’s Rainbow, I have to laugh. My conclusion is that this is a little inside joke members of the literati like to play on unsuspecting would-be intellectuals. “I know…we’ll get them to read that horrid novel by Pynchon,” they no doubt chortled when this fiendish plot was first hatched. Anyone who can go cover to cover on this one is either a glutton for punishment, or possibly just brain dead. Ayn Rand is as light and amusing as Charles Schultz compared to this novel. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/58 "2000-09-06T19:14:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rocketeer \* > **"Red Storm Rising", by Tom Clancy. The Russkies invade Europe, get stopped in Germany, then sit there for hundreds of pages, until in the end a deus ex machina sets everything right again. Atrocious.** I read this book about fifteen years ago when it was first published, and I remembered liking it at the time. Of course, I was naive as hell then, and I almost believed Reagan and his cronies on the right side of aisle about the evils of Soviet socialism. Anyway, I don’t remember how it ended. What was the deux ex machina? ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/59 "2000-09-06T19:27:26Z")
Definitely has to be either David Coperfield or Knickerless Knickelby, by Edmund Wells. ---
**Author:** ![Bucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Bucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bucky)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/60 "2000-09-06T19:29:30Z")
Nobody has mentioned “The Bridges of Madison County?” I read one paragraph at random from a review. That one paragraph was more painful than even the fifty or so pages I managed to slog through of the excreble [sic?] “Mill on the Floss” or the horrid “Beast in the Jungle” or any number of other bad books. Bucky ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036/61 "2000-09-06T21:22:05Z")
In the “popular” category, I second the motion for “Message in a Bottle.” A man writing what he thinks a woman wants to read. As predictable as Tom Cruise grinning in order to evoke charm. In the “historical romance” section, I’ll nominate “Into the Wilderness.” Set in the 1700’s, our sheltered English heroine can navigate miles through the Canadian wilderness without so much as a compass. Oh, and she wants to free the slaves, too. Aarrrgh! In the “classic” category, it’s gotta be “Moby Dick.” In the “foreign classic” category, I have to nominate “Anna Karenina” simply because I cannot read more than 2 pages of this novel without falling asleep. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-novel-of-all-time/32036.md?page=4)