Some of these replies are really interesting. I suppose you have to have a certain sense of humor to enjoy Catcher in the Rye or Angela’s Ashes because I thought those books were hilarious and clever.
Anyway, I would have to vote for Bridges of Madison County - I read the book in 20 minutes, threw it across the room and proceeded to berate my brother-in-law’s brother who gave me the book and told me it was great. I also hate The Horse Whisperer and all those other “delayed airplane” books that you have to buy because airport gift shops never stock anything good.
Whoops, you nailed me, man. But I have seen Clarke/Lee
collaborations (e.g. Venus Prime) that were way, way, way,
WAAYYYY below Clarke’s solo output in quality. Maybe Gentry Lee is better by himself, too.
Gotta go with Smeghead on this one. The worst thing I have ever read has to be the “Mission Earth” series. As above, I can only say that it has to be read before you can ever truly appreciate the incredible lack of literary talent this man had.
Another piece of fiction I gagged on was “Interview With a Vampire.” What I wanted was a neat piece of vampire fluff, and what I got was a thinly disguised homo-erotic romance novel. Unfortunately, the freshly purchased series of (then) 3 books were among those I packed when I was off to Desert Storm, so I had little else available.
As far as “literature” goes, I have never been so thoroughly disappointed by anything as I was in “Catcher in the Rye.” I was never forced to read the thing in school, but had heard it mentioned so many times that I had to satisfy my curiosity. Blecchh! It’s only saving grace was that it was mercifully short.
The longer an Ayn Rand novel is, the worse it gets. Her short story Anthem would pass as a minor not-too-great SF novella, but Atlas Shrugged- as we saw on an episode of South Park, it makes people sorry to be literate.
I’d LOVE to be able to say that the collected works of the Three Stooges of the New York Literary Scene, 1980s edition…McInerny, Ellis, and Janowitz…are the worst crap ever published.
But I never read any of them (their hype was enough to make me vomit; I didn’t want to compound the nausea by actually purchasing and reading their work), so it would be…intolerant and wrongheaded to do so.
I don’t know about Winona Ryder (who would she play? Not Camilla), but Robert Sean Leonard was definitely pegged to star as Richard. The story I heard was that Tartt wanted only no-names in the cast, but when she heard Leonard’s rendition of the audio book, she liked it so much that she immediately wanted him for the role.
(Though I guess these days you could have Robert Sean Leonard for the lead and still have a cast comprised entirely of no-names. Too bad; I like him.)
The Wheel Of Time series. Overblown, pretensious hack writing. Each book is at least 700 pages long, and the series shows no sign of ending. I made it through book three before waking up from my self-induced bout of masocism.
High end stinker: The Great Gatsby.
Uke, I actually liked Bright Lights, Big City but not enough to read anything else by McInerney. The movie though has no redeeming qualities. After reading Janowitz I closed the “New York Stooges” reading club for good.
“I Will Fear No Evil”, by usually-dependable Robert Heinlein. Ghastly, dull, opinionated. The very first book I didn’t finish; what a liberating realization, that I didn’t have to finish every book I started!
“Red Storm Rising”, by Tom Clancy. The Russkies invade Europe, get stopped in Germany, then sit there for hundreds of pages, until in the end a deus ex machina sets everything right again. Atrocious.
Mojo: Yeah, I’ve heard that from lots of other people whose book opinions I trust. I just don’t want to give the son-of-a-bitch any money. What if it was my ten bucks (fractionally) that he noticed on his royalty statement that tipped McInerny over the edge into novel-writing again?
If there is a single more unreadable book in the English language, please keep it away from me. I was first conned into attempting to read this book years ago, while in college. I got about 50 pages into it, and quit. A few times over the years, after reading one literary paean to Thomas Pynchon or another, I tried to read it again. Maybe I missed something, I thought, not realizing that the book was so horrible my memory had probably purged the previous attempts as a way of trying to protect me from my unfortunate choice in literature.
Every time I see some literary snob allude to the genius of Thomas Pynchon, and especially his “masterpiece,” (sic) Gravity’s Rainbow, I have to laugh. My conclusion is that this is a little inside joke members of the literati like to play on unsuspecting would-be intellectuals. “I know…we’ll get them to read that horrid novel by Pynchon,” they no doubt chortled when this fiendish plot was first hatched. Anyone who can go cover to cover on this one is either a glutton for punishment, or possibly just brain dead. Ayn Rand is as light and amusing as Charles Schultz compared to this novel.
I read this book about fifteen years ago when it was first published, and I remembered liking it at the time. Of course, I was naive as hell then, and I almost believed Reagan and his cronies on the right side of aisle about the evils of Soviet socialism.
Anyway, I don’t remember how it ended. What was the deux ex machina?
Nobody has mentioned “The Bridges of Madison County?” I read one paragraph at random from a review. That one paragraph was more painful than even the fifty or so pages I managed to slog through of the excreble [sic?] “Mill on the Floss” or the horrid “Beast in the Jungle” or any number of other bad books.
In the “popular” category, I second the motion for “Message in a Bottle.” A man writing what he thinks a woman wants to read. As predictable as Tom Cruise grinning in order to evoke charm.
In the “historical romance” section, I’ll nominate “Into the Wilderness.” Set in the 1700’s, our sheltered English heroine can navigate miles through the Canadian wilderness without so much as a compass. Oh, and she wants to free the slaves, too. Aarrrgh!
In the “classic” category, it’s gotta be “Moby Dick.”
In the “foreign classic” category, I have to nominate “Anna Karenina” simply because I cannot read more than 2 pages of this novel without falling asleep.