Similarly with the biathlon for the winter games. A seemingly random mix of skiing and shooting, its supposed to simulate what a soldier in Arctic conditions must do - ski as hard as you can, then try to calm yourself enough to shoot straight.
Jerry Seinfeld (I think) has a bit about luge. The line goes something like this: “It’s the only sport I’ve ever seen where you could have people competing in it against their will and it would be exactly the same.”
They ought to take out the sports where the Olympics isn’t the be all and end all. Olympic basketball? Does anybody really give a rat’s ass who wins the Olympic basketball tournament? There are other basketball competitions that are a lot, LOT more important than the Olympics in basketball, so Olympic basketball is a low-stakes “all stars” kind of game. Stupid. Whereas those track and field people have worked their whole lives for this specific opportunity.
Axe tennis, basketball, baseball, definitely soccer, etc. Modern pentathlon is AWESOME and should indeed be done in period costume.
ETA - checking Wikipedia, did you guys know that between 1900 and 1920 we played tug of war at the Olympics? That is awesome.
Agreed. Unless they had to do it over rice paper without tearing it, while carrying a pot of coals, and big wooden mechanized dummies swung spears at them.
Kung fu movies are filled with training and test montages that would make uberawesome events.
It should be on Letterman’s ‘Stupid human tricks’. What is the point of it?
Well I am sorry for the language. The sentiment seems true.
You could turn that question on any athletic endeavor. What’s the point of spinning around and throwing a disc or a heavy ball? What’s the point of kicking a ball into a goal?
A grizzly bear can run 30mph. I don’t see how strolling away is going to help you. Especially if you are running into a cabin or something. And there is no event that I can think of where a race walker can beat a runner. Certainly no one is race walking in the Badwater Ultramarathon (Death Valley to Mt. Whitney race). They are walking at times, but that’s because it’s freakin’ 135 miles long. It has been won multiple times by a woman, however.
At least we can agree there.
However, I like synchronized gymnastics just because it has the hottest chicks. I still don’t think it’s a sport, but I find it pretty entertaining in a pervy kind of way.
What is the point of you posting to this board at all? What is the point of Life? What is the point of kittens?
I am sorry to have upset you.
the one i dont get is the first event where a team from each country carries a flag. its so stupid they dont even bother to announce the winner.
Well, the Greeks always seem to come in first. 
It’s still around. As the final paragraph of the linked article states, the events will not be contested in Beijing, but in Hong Kong.
Curling, if you can smoke while doing it it ain’t a fucking sport.
Thanks for missing the point. I wasn’t saying you should walk away from the bear really fast, the point is that it is extremely silly to judge olympic sports based on how useful it is in escaping a bear. Walking is no different in concept from any of the swimming strokes that aren’t as fast as the Australian crawl.
What if we actually added a bear to the contest?
A hungry one.
I would have to say that if you were sent down a luge run against your will, you would fall off the sled within seconds and you would have a long and painful slide down through the run. If you’re lucky, you’ll still be in one piece.
Way to suck all the life out of a joke!
Anyway, i’m another believer that, if an event requires a subjective evaluation by a panel of judges, it should be out.
Citius, Altius, Fortius. No mention of “most graceful” or “most competent at throwing long pieces of ribbon.”
I agree.
Unfortunately, even in the ‘objective’ sports one has to wonder nowadays whether the medals should be awarded to the equipment designers and/or team chemists rather than the sportsmen themselves.