# Worst opening line of song lyrics **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 15, 2017, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947 "2017-10-15T16:38:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/61 "2017-10-17T14:23:18Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > _Breakfast In America_. :smack: right - thanks I might get some disagreements with this one, but Billy Joel’s “Bottle of red, bottle of white”, for some reason, just, sorta, [skeeves](https://youtu.be/jtrhwqdNCHM?t=44) me out a little. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/62 "2017-10-17T15:24:54Z")
> [@TonySinclair](#): > > A bunch of Neil Sedaka hits in the 60’s, like “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do,” began with just stupid nonsense lyrics, like dowm dooby dooby dowm dowm, comma comma… > > Maybe [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_L6jXY5COI)is the worst one. I wouldn’t really classify doo-wop or doo-wop style vocalizations as “lyrics,” though. That’s kind of part and parcel of the genre. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/63 "2017-10-17T21:33:29Z")
Sounds like Elvin Bishop was trying to get a little big for his britches by bragging _I must have been through about a million girls_ in “Fooled Around and Fell in Love”. In Kiss’s “Firehouse”, Paul Stanley wows us with “She’ll adore you, and she’ll floor you”. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/64 "2017-10-17T21:41:25Z")
Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam. Holy shit!!! Does it get any worse? I just heard this in a pub. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/65 "2017-10-17T21:58:28Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam > Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam. > > Holy shit!!! Does it get any worse? I just heard this in a pub. It’s an old field song from at least the early 1930s. [Here’s the Leadbelly version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYrK464nIeY) from 1939. If we’re including those types of songs, I’m sure you can find many that are “bad” on the page, but work wonderfully in the folk tradition. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/66 "2017-10-17T22:02:02Z")
I did not know that. ETA: That is wild and wacky stuff. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/67 "2017-10-17T22:04:58Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I did not know that. > > ETA: That is wild and wacky stuff. [Here’s a fairly thorough article about the song](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Betty) on Wikipedia. I didn’t know it was a cover, either, until maybe five or ten years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/68 "2017-10-18T03:02:37Z")
Annie’s twelve years old In two more she’ll be a whore -Sublime, “The Wrong Way” ---
**Author:** ![caligulathegod](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caligulathegod/32/9685_2.png) [@caligulathegod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caligulathegod)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/69 "2017-10-18T03:36:17Z")
(You’re) Having my baby What a lovely way of saying How much you love me. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/70 "2017-10-18T04:13:57Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Buying groceries yesterday and the insipid strains of England Dan and John Ford Coley’s “Really Like to See You Tonight” leached out of the P.A. > > Their oh-so-cazsh\* opening line “Hello, yeah, it’s been a while/Not much, how about you” made me think - ok - are there _really_ any other song lyric openings that are total and complete _ass_, like that one? > > If you think so - have at it. > > \*could never figure out the diminutive for “casual”. I have hated this song ever since I had to sing it in junior high chorus ( :eek: ) a couple years after it was on the charts. Not really a song for tweens, if you think about it. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/71 "2017-10-18T05:53:48Z")
May I recommend the definitive scholarly work on this subject, [Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Barry%27s_Book_of_Bad_Songs). It started as a survey of bad songs he did when he was a columnist for the Miami Herald that received such continuing overwhelming response that, well, it turned into a book. Before the book even gets started, in the introduction and the pre-introductory warning about how these songs are going to get stuck in your head and you won’t be able to dislodge them with a crowbar, we are introduced to such gems as: Martina McBride (and Lynn Anderson and many others) wailing the lyrics of “Rose Garden”: _I beg your PARdon, I never promised you a rose GARden!_ These aren’t the opening lyrics but I have to include them because they’re so priceless … Neil Diamond, “I Am, I Said”: _I am, I said To no one there And no one heard at all Not even the chair._ You gotta admit, there are few things as annoying as a chair that doesn’t listen when you’re pouring your heart out to it! And of course “MacArthur Park”, which needs no further comment and was honored in Barry’s book by taking the #1 spot for “Worst songs ever written”: _Someone left the cake out in the rain I don’t think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I’ll never have the recipe agaaaaaaaain! Oh, no!_ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/72 "2017-10-18T13:12:09Z")
_Spring was never waiting for us, girl It ran one step ahead As we followed in the dance Between the parted pages and were pressed In love’s hot, fevered iron Like a strip-ed pair of pants_ If you can write a worst opening line then that… ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/73 "2017-10-18T13:29:10Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > . . . Martina McBride (and Lynn Anderson and many others) wailing the lyrics of “Rose Garden”: > _I beg your PARdon, > I never promised you a rose GARden!_ We must forgive Joe South this indiscretion; he wrote so many works of genius. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/74 "2017-10-18T15:38:21Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > _Spring was never waiting for us, girl > It ran one step ahead > As we followed in the dance > Between the parted pages and were pressed > In love’s hot, fevered iron > Like a strip-ed pair of pants_ > > If you can write a worst opening line then that… Now that’s more like it! Have to look up what song this is, but this is pretty terrible! ETA: Ah, it’s the much-ridiculed McArthur Park. I do know the song, but I had no memory of the opening line whatsoever. That’s a good thing, I think. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/75 "2017-10-18T16:08:34Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Now that’s more like it! Have to look up what song this is, but this is pretty terrible! I warned you guys in Post 27. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/76 "2017-10-18T18:16:11Z")
Hello Darlin’ ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/77 "2017-10-18T18:42:47Z")
How about the opening line to _Careful with That Axe, Eugene_ ? ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2017, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/78 "2017-10-19T07:20:46Z")
“Your butt is mine” Michael Jackson. _Bad_ ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2017, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/79 "2017-10-19T18:23:23Z")
The lyrics that popped into my head when I saw the thread: For the benefit of Mr. Kite There will be a show tonight on trampoline ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2017, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947/80 "2017-10-19T20:55:17Z")
> [@That\_Don\_Guy](#): > > The lyrics that popped into my head when I saw the thread: > > For the benefit of Mr. Kite > There will be a show tonight on trampoline Most of those lyrics were taken directly from a [poster](https://kiteprint.com/collections/frontpage/products/mr-kite-limited-edition?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIm4mX6sj91gIVAwppCh2EogMLEAQYASABEgJBKfD_BwE) Lennon found at an antique shop. I think the opening lyrics perfectly capture the Victorian feel they were going for. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-opening-line-of-song-lyrics/798947.md?page=5)