# worst pick-up lines EVER **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 1, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395 "2000-03-01T22:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/21 "2000-03-02T20:46:00Z")
The worst pick-up line ever used on me would have to be “Tonite when I masturbate, I’ll be thinking about you” (yes, he actually said that. Am I supposed to me flattered, or charmed?) with “Your eyebrows are really seperated. I’m not gay” in a close second. I wouldn’t have even thought that was a pick-up line if the “I’m not gay” wasn’t added. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/22 "2000-03-02T20:51:00Z")
At a gay bar: Hi, could I push that stool in for you? ---
**Author:** ![Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Stevie\_Rave\_On](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stevie_Rave_On)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/23 "2000-03-02T23:04:00Z")
The word for the day is “legs”. Now let’s go back to my place and spread the word. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/24 "2000-03-02T23:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Libertarian: > \*\*At a gay bar: > > Hi, could I push that stool in for you?\*\* ROFL! _YOU_ are one sick puppy 😃 * * * VB “Rudyard Kipling?” “Don’t know; I’ve never Kippled!” ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/25 "2000-03-03T00:54:00Z")
I always liked the line " If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me." Not that I would try it on anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/26 "2000-03-03T01:51:00Z")
If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, mind if I visit you between the holidays? * * * “People must think it must be fun to be a super genuis, But they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.” – Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) _/_ ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/27 "2000-03-03T05:00:00Z")
What screws like a tiger and winks? :😉: There is no way I could say any of those lines with a straight face. [Lucky Charms accent]Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?[/Lucky Charms accent] How would you like to be turned over and eaten like a watermelon? Walk up and pat a girl on the ass. “Is this seat taken?” Damn, now I’m wanting to try that last one. ---
**Author:** ![Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/67e7ee/32.png) [@Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/28 "2000-03-03T05:03:00Z")
Heard this one once. “Do you have a bit of Irish in you? Would you like some?” ---
**Author:** ![AuraSeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/29 "2000-03-03T05:27:00Z")
When I was living in the dorms at college, a guy down the hall decided to share with me his wisdom on how to pick up women. He explained that the best way to pick someone up is to walk over to her and say, “Hey, wanna fuck?” She will probably say no. You are then supposed to respond, “So I guess a blowjob is out of the quesion.” According to him, this will make the woman admire your persistence and sleep with you. I actually witnessed him attempting this line once. The scene wound up something like this: **Guy** : Hey, wanna fuck? (_ **Girl** glances at him and sneers)_ **Guy** : Hey, I said, you wanna fuck? **Girl** : Leave me the hell alone, RIGHT NOW. _(begins to turn away)_ **Guy** : Hey, wait a second… _(reaches out to grab Girl’s wrist.)_ I’m really glad I didn’t blink at this point, because the girl grabbed his wrist, spun around, and flipped him over her shoulder. He flew halfway across the room and landed flat on his back. Drunk as he was, I’m not sure if he ever quite figured out what happened. * * * Continued from lower abdomen ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/30 "2000-03-03T05:38:00Z")
" Nice ass, can I wear it like a hat?" * * * Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it. ---
**Author:** ![upstatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ce73a5/32.png) [@upstatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/upstatic)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/31 "2000-03-03T10:33:00Z")
Tyson says: Yo baby, check out this right hook. * * * R.J.D. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/32 "2000-03-05T10:01:00Z")
Kestrel, can you say “simulpost”? ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2000, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/33 "2000-03-05T22:36:00Z")
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled… or fertilized I was a line from a movie called 200 Cigarettes! Pretty funny. * * * That John Denver’s full of shit man! ---
**Author:** ![drollman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f04885/32.png) [@drollman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drollman)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2000, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/34 "2000-03-07T06:08:00Z")
Actually used (with no success): ## “We might as well. I’m gonna tell all my friends we did anyway.” My fate keeps getting in the way of my destiny. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395/35 "2000-03-06T19:49:00Z")
Let’s see…You’ve got a pulse. You **don’t** have a penis. You’ll do. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-pick-up-lines-ever/14395.md?page=1)