# Worst Possible First Contact Message From An Alien Race **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 20, 2016, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-first-contact-message-from-an-alien-race/749690 "2016-03-20T20:39:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-first-contact-message-from-an-alien-race/749690/101 "2016-03-24T16:38:57Z")
I guess one of the worst first contact messages could be a thread on a message board, with a title like: [If any alien race wanted to eradicate humans but leave all other creatures on earth](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=788093) ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-first-contact-message-from-an-alien-race/749690/102 "2016-03-24T18:16:25Z")
How YOU doin’? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-first-contact-message-from-an-alien-race/749690/103 "2016-03-24T18:27:44Z")
Greetings, Earthlings. We would like you to take us to your Earth leader to whom you revere as “The Donald.” ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-first-contact-message-from-an-alien-race/749690/104 "2016-03-24T18:36:25Z")
“No, no, no… it’s ‘Blessed are the cheese-makers.’ Can’t you people get anything right? You screwed up our teleport system we set up in Egypt, the regeneration facility we put down in South America…why do we bother?” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-first-contact-message-from-an-alien-race/749690/105 "2016-03-24T18:40:02Z")
“What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and five tentacles in the evening?” ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-first-contact-message-from-an-alien-race/749690/106 "2016-03-24T18:42:20Z")
Do you guys still have that book I left with you a few thousand years ago – you, know, my creation diary? I need to add a chapter. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-first-contact-message-from-an-alien-race/749690/107 "2016-03-24T19:45:48Z")
\*Bend over Earthlings. We’ve gotta lotta deep probing to do. …sorry if our middle tentacles are a little stabby.\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-first-contact-message-from-an-alien-race/749690.md?page=5)