# Worst possible remake casting: the RPG **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 12, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835 "2004-05-12T19:07:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/21 "2004-05-13T14:34:33Z")
**The Bells Of Saint Mary’s** --starring Woody Allen, with Robin Willliams as Sister Benedict. > **[The Bells of St. Mary's (1945) - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0037536/)** > > The Bells of St. Mary's: Directed by Leo McCarey. With Bing Crosby, Ingrid Bergman, Henry Travers, William Gargan. At a big city Catholic school, Father O'Malley and Sister Benedict indulge in friendly rivalry, and succeed in extending the school... ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/22 "2004-05-13T15:08:36Z")
> [@Mausmagill](#): > > **Birth of a Nation** doesn’t matter who stars or directs, the studio would be burned down and bankrupt within an hour of its release. Oh, I don’t know. Following the theory that black folks can say “nigger” all they want, I’d make the director Spike Lee, cast a whole lot of bleeding-heart white liberals as the “heroic whites” and a bunch of bad-ass rappers as the “evil blacks”. Imagine Warran Beatty leading the Klan. That’d be sooooooo bad it’d be funny! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/23 "2004-05-13T15:49:32Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > **There’s Something About Mary** - with Dame Edna as Mary. Or **The Passion of the Christ** - with Dame Edna as Mary. “Possum, if just have to behold somebody as my son, couldn’t it be that beefy Roman guard?” ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/24 "2004-05-13T15:56:30Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Or **The Passion of the Christ** - with Dame Edna as Mary. “Possum, if just have to behold somebody as my son, couldn’t it be that beefy Roman guard?” **The Passion of the Christ** … starring Rip Taylor! They hammer him onto the cross and confetti starts pouring out of the wounds… ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/25 "2004-05-13T15:58:03Z")
No need for a remake- how about making a sequel to **Black Dog** with the original cast (Patrick Swayze, Randy Travis, and Meatloaf). ---
**Author:** ![figenschoug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a698b9/32.png) [@figenschoug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figenschoug)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/26 "2004-05-13T21:06:02Z")
Hollywood needs no help in this. Premium example: Get Carter starring Sylvester Stallone??? ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/27 "2004-05-13T21:16:49Z")
How about a series of remakes – maybe the _Pink Panther_ films? Inspector Clouseau = Steve Martin Kato = Jean Reno Dreyfus = Kevin Kline (which would be doubly objectionable for anyone who’d ever listened to his French accent in _French Kiss_) This is one of the worst ideas I can think of, other than trying to do live-action versions of Dr. Seuss books or something … and it’s coming to a theatre near you in 2005. Hollywood sucks. ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/28 "2004-05-13T21:22:35Z")
**Annie Hall** starring Arnold Schwarzeneggar. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/29 "2004-05-13T21:37:30Z")
> [@Scupper](#): > > Dreyfus = Kevin Kline (which would be doubly objectionable for anyone who’d ever listened to his French accent in _French Kiss_) Is it worse than Peter Seller’s was? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/30 "2004-05-13T21:38:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Get Carter starring Sylvester Stallone??? I may be utterly alone in the universe for this opinion, but I was rather taken aback by how much this one _didn’t_ suck. True, they candied up the ending, which was stupid, but I thought the rest of it was appropriately grim and brutal. Stallone, in particular, played an effective gangster. The fight scene in the elevator was excellent. It had the feel of a real fight…dirty, graceless, and unchoreographed, which made Carter’s brutally direct tactics all that more initially ineffective when he faced an opponent in the climactic scene that actually was a trained fighter. Too bad the movie didn’t have a better story to drive it, because Stallone actually did a hell of a good job with the Carter character. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/31 "2004-05-13T21:53:38Z")
**Jaws** : Jim Carrey as Chief Brody, Will Smith as Quint, and Tom Hanks as Hooper make 30 million dollars each as they chase a CGI shark across a CGI sea. Directed by Jim Jarmusch. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/32 "2004-05-13T22:12:42Z")
_Gentlemen Prefer Blondes_ —Starring **Nancy Reagan!!** :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/33 "2004-05-13T22:15:18Z")
**One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest** would be the story of the rebellious outsider McMurphy (Harvey Fierstein) and his struggles with the dominating Nurse Ratched (Elizabeth Berkley). Along the way , McMurphy befriends a quiet young man named Billy (Rob Zombie) and a towering Native American named Chief (Danny DeVito) and teaches each of them something about life. That something he teaches them is that he is a rat bastard as he sells them out to Nurse Ratched in exchange for sexual favors and weekend passes from the asylum. The movie ends with the wedding of McMurphy and Nurse Ratched, who drive off into the sunset to their honeymoon hotel and have fish-flopping sex in the pool. Fin. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/34 "2004-05-13T22:21:36Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Is it worse than Peter Seller’s was? Come to think of it, is it any worse than Herbert Lom’s, who played the original Dreyfuss with, as far as I can remember, a _British_ accent? ---
**Author:** ![jimmmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@jimmmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimmmy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/35 "2004-05-13T22:48:37Z")
**Star Wars** Revisited Starring: Kirk Cameron as Luke Tracy Gold as Leia Ben Affleck as Han Bob Hoskins as Ben Puffy as Lando C3PO - voice of Sean Connery Ed McMahon as the voice of Darth Vader ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/36 "2004-05-14T00:34:15Z")
> [@jk1245](#): > > **One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest** would be the story of the rebellious outsider McMurphy (Harvey Fierstein) and his struggles with the dominating Nurse Ratched (Elizabeth Berkley). Along the way , McMurphy befriends a quiet young man named Billy (Rob Zombie) and a towering Native American named Chief (Danny DeVito) and teaches each of them something about life. > > That something he teaches them is that he is a rat bastard as he sells them out to Nurse Ratched in exchange for sexual favors and weekend passes from the asylum. The movie ends with the wedding of McMurphy and Nurse Ratched, who drive off into the sunset to their honeymoon hotel and have fish-flopping sex in the pool. > > Fin. [Harvey Fierstein]I just wanna be loved, it that so wrong?[/Harvey Fierstein] I just had to add that. The only crazy casting I could think of was the real talk about John Travolta starring in a remake of Harvey, that would be just so wrong. ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/37 "2004-05-14T02:49:34Z")
> [@jimmmy](#): > > **Star Wars** Revisited > > Starring: > > Ed McMahon as the voice of Darth Vader God, I can hear that now: "You are my son, Luke. _Har, har, har, har, har, har, har, har!"_ ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/38 "2004-05-14T03:01:04Z")
**Return of the Jedi-Redux** with same cast as the Kirk Cameron post above except the role of Princess Leia (gold bikini and all) is now played by Rosie O’Donnell **The Birdcage/La Cage aux Folles** with Mel Gibson as Armand, Don Johnson as Albin, Charles Nelson Reilly as the straightlaced senator and Linda Hunt as his wife. **Lawrence of Arabia** with Chris Rock as T.E. Lawrence, Dom Deluise as Ali and Burt Reynolds as Prince Hussein. **The Godfather** with Bill Paxton as Don Corleone, Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie as Sonny, and David Spade as Michael ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/39 "2004-05-14T06:53:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Bill Paxton as Don Corleone You’re going to hell. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835/40 "2004-05-14T08:03:47Z")
Pick random movie, cast the cast of _ **Friends** _. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-remake-casting-the-rpg/244835.md?page=3)