# Worst possible time for an Erection? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 29, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076 "2005-09-29T19:53:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/1 "2005-09-29T19:53:33Z")
We have a lot of erection threads floating around. in [This one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=337378) Ahunter asks whether women would like porn where men get erections, and whether they prefered mortifying situations, or situations where the man wanted a boner. This got me thinking, what would be the worst time to get an erection? I think there are two elements in play: audience and subject matter. If you have a large audience it is of course more embaressing. I think it would be worse if the apparent subject matter was gross or inappropriate. With that in mind, my first thought was the worst boner would be getting one when giving a sermon on how we should cherish our children, or something of that sort. Then I realized it would be worse if the sermon were on Jesus getting nailed on the cross. What are your thoughts on the worst time to get an erection? ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/2 "2005-09-29T19:57:21Z")
On stage at the Super Bowl Halftime show, during an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/3 "2005-09-29T19:59:20Z")
Doctor’s office when asked to turn and cough. :eek: Disclaimer: Not speaking from personal experience. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/4 "2005-09-29T19:59:44Z")
Halfway through a circumcision. ---
**Author:** ![Mdr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@Mdr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mdr)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/5 "2005-09-29T19:59:45Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > We have a lot of erection threads floating around. in [This one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=337378) Ahunter asks whether women would like porn where men get erections, and whether they prefered mortifying situations, or situations where the man wanted a boner. > > This got me thinking, what would be the worst time to get an erection? I think there are two elements in play: audience and subject matter. If you have a large audience it is of course more embaressing. I think it would be worse if the apparent subject matter was gross or inappropriate. > > With that in mind, my first thought was the worst boner would be getting one when giving a sermon on how we should cherish our children, or something of that sort. Then I realized it would be worse if the sermon were on Jesus getting nailed on the cross. > > What are your thoughts on the worst time to get an erection? walking in on your mom in the shower and popping a hardon…not that, you know, it’s ever happened… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/6 "2005-09-29T20:00:16Z")
In the shower at the Marines boot camp ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/7 "2005-09-29T20:04:53Z")
Let’s just say I learned the hard way (har!) that I have to wear tighty-whities to church. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/8 "2005-09-29T20:08:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Let’s just say I learned the hard way (har!) that I have to wear tighty-whities to church. Yeah. I was about to say that being up at a non-concealing pulpit at church, while lecturing about the evils of Lust, would be about the worst time. During a Limbo contest At the Petting Zoo When your wife is giving birth. ---
**Author:** ![Meaty\_Beaty\_Big\_and\_Bouncy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Meaty\_Beaty\_Big\_and\_Bouncy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meaty_Beaty_Big_and_Bouncy)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/9 "2005-09-29T20:13:35Z")
When getting your pelvis x-rayed. When giving a speech to a class of junior high students. Your own crucifixion. In the shower in prison. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/10 "2005-09-29T20:38:38Z")
At a nudist collony. When dressed as Father Xmas giving out toys to children in a superstore. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/11 "2005-09-29T20:42:20Z")
As a juror at the Michael Jackson molestation trial. While reading the most famous **Hal Briston** thread. ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/12 "2005-09-29T20:59:50Z")
Onstage at Carnegie Hall while performing the violin solo from Schindler’s List. I hope you’re reading this, Itzhak. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/13 "2005-09-29T21:03:29Z")
> [@Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy](#): > > When getting your pelvis x-rayed. Depending on how well endowed you are, this X-ray could make a nice coffee table conversation starter. "Whats that thing sticking out of y… Oh… Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/14 "2005-09-29T22:51:31Z")
How about while performing an autopsy? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/15 "2005-09-29T22:58:14Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > How about while performing an autopsy? On a child. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/16 "2005-09-29T23:02:48Z")
While debating Al Gore on national TV. ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/17 "2005-09-29T23:24:58Z")
My SO tells this story (I think it’s cute!): When he was in 4th grade he had the hots for Ms. McNaughton. He describes her as a blonde bombshell who wore intoxicating perfume. So one day in class she asks him up to the board to do a math problem (I’m sure you can figure out where this story is going). Since he had pitched a tent in his pants he slinks down in his chair and says he can’t. She asks him again and says, “It’s a fairly easy problem, I’m sure you have the right answer”. He looks up at her and says “Ms. McNaughton, I can’t come up to the board”. The light bulb went off above her head when she realized why he couldn’t get up from his desk…he says she turned bright red and called on another student. Something tells me he headed straight for the lavatory after that class was over!!! ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/18 "2005-09-29T23:30:51Z")
At your grandma’s funeral, while giving the eulogy. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/19 "2005-09-29T23:46:22Z")
Slightly off topic, perhaps, with apologies. I remember my mom giving me a book when I was about twelve that was supposed to be a Christian take on how to handle puberty (this one was for boys – there was a girls’ equivalent, I think). This was her way of handling “the talk” since she was a single mom with no idea how to approach me on such things. At any rate, the only tidbit I remember from reading it was the commentary that, when you’ve arrived at your jr. high and high school years, it may very well happen that you’re walking down a crowded hallway, and you might brush against a pretty girl, inadvertently causing you to have an erection. What’s the appropriate thing to do, you may ask? You smile, and simply tell the girl, “Thank you.” Even at twelve, I knew that had to be the creepiest possible thing to do to someone. But I think the book’s attitude was that everyone _else_ your age would also have read the book, and would understand completely. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076/20 "2005-09-29T23:53:52Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > What are your thoughts on the worst time to get an erection? While looking at the backsides of dairy cattle while attending a county fair. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-possible-time-for-an-erection/324076.md?page=2)