# Worst. Product. Name. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 4, 2004, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027 "2004-12-04T05:27:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/41 "2004-12-06T01:03:51Z")
> [@pyrrthon1](#): > > [Why not slip into a pair of comfortable “Zyklon-Bs”](http://wirelessreview.com/ar/marketing_jewish_groups_angry/) Hmm. Clearly a sad coincidence. Sounds kinda sci-fi, if you ask me…“Wave upon wave of bloodthirsty Freakazoids from the planet Zycklon Beta descended on the helpless citzens of Futropolis, slobbering as they shoveled hapless victims into their fetid gastropores.” ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/42 "2004-12-06T01:42:47Z")
There’s also the Zyklon model of roller coaster. [Here is an article](http://www.jewishsf.com/content/2-0-/module/displaystory/story_id/11762/edition_id/226/format/html/displaystory.html) about a “wave-making Jew” and his attempt to have the name removed from the ride. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/43 "2004-12-06T01:43:57Z")
**Loopydude** , I’ll agree with you there, and add the comment that I personally think that the people who are claiming anti-semitism need to check their bullshit meters before they go claiming that British football industry is “deeply infiltrated by neo-Nazi skinheads.”\* I haven’t really ever heard of that, and it really smacks of paranoia to me. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong on that one; I’m not a follower of sports for the most part, and I don’t live in Britain. \*I also wonder when people make statements like that if they know of other genocidal occurrences in the world that have happened since the Holocaust. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Iacob\_Matthew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Iacob\_Matthew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iacob_Matthew)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/44 "2004-12-06T02:00:16Z")
“Vela Smooth, Shaper.” The comma and the period are part of the name. Syneron is adamant about that. It uses diode crystal laser energy, reaching from the high-infrared through most of the visible spectrum to destroy cellulite. In other words, it’s a back-massager with a heatlamp attached. I have happy memories of being paid $12/hour to stamp page numbers on about 16,000 pages of data proving it was safe, sort them into 28 separate 500-page binders, and take conference calls at 2AM Israeli time because they refused to admit that they didn’t know which direction the time change went. Best job of my life. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/45 "2004-12-06T02:03:30Z")
It probably wouldn’t be too far off the mark to associate organised football hooliganism with some forms of racist activism, including that which could reasonably be called neo-nazism, but AFAIK, the actual football authorities themselves are pretty clean (although I suppose this would just prove _how well-hidden the conspiracy really is_) ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/46 "2004-12-06T13:35:03Z")
One of my favorite tobasco sauce brands is called simply, **Butt Burner**. I think that says it all. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/47 "2004-12-06T16:04:30Z")
There’s a cologne out made by the Polo folks called [Ralph](http://www.polo.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1784861&cp=1760786.1765192.1765206&nav=lhn&parentPage=family). I’d hate it if someone walked up to me and said, “Gee, you smell like ralph today.” Well, at least they didn’t call it “Urp” or “Upchuck.” ---
**Author:** ![MisterThyristor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@MisterThyristor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MisterThyristor)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/48 "2004-12-06T16:57:12Z")
> [@Daithe Lacha](#): > > “Sen-Sen.” Kind of herbally-flavoured, like licorice to the n-th degree, as I recall. They surface from time to time. I seem to remember them making a bit of a comeback in the mid-80’s, probably after Billy Joel mentioned them in “Keeping the Faith.” Maybe it was just coincidence - _or was it?_ They still make and sell it – [here](http://www.groovycandies.com/NewCandyDetailFrFe.asp?Fletter=S&Submit2=FIND&CandyNumber=361), among other places. And Bag Balm was the original, as I recall. They got a boost in sales in the late 60s to early 70s when it got a great review as a hand creme in the Whole Earth catalog. I think that’s when a lot of the imitators first sprang up. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/49 "2004-12-06T18:17:45Z")
I work in a hospital and the person who does wound care is in my department. I told her that during the winter, my horse’s butt gets very messy from not being on pasture (I think the grass has or is probiotics and keeps his tummy flora very happy–when he’s not on grass, he gets “messy butt.”) She recommended that I use Butt Paste. It is basically diaper rash cream with some “natural” ingredient. It is used in the hospital and I got a tube for free. It does help “barricade” the skin. I also have a tin of Bag Balm that I use on my hands in the winter. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/50 "2004-12-06T18:34:49Z")
> [@peedin](#): > > “messy butt” Hmmm. My wife calls me that sometimes, but I thought it was only when I don’t clean up the house properly. Maybe I’m not getting the whole message… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![RadioWave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RadioWave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadioWave)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/51 "2004-12-06T21:15:18Z")
To me, this is a fine name for an Indian tribe but not something you want to put on top of a $250 million casino in 80 foot tall neon letters. [Moron Go!](http://www.casinomorongo.com) ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/52 "2004-12-06T21:52:38Z")
There’s a display rack in a local grocery store that has small cakes and other pastries and breads. The brand name is _ **Bimbo.** _ I looked around and found their website. I thought at first it had to be a misprint, but they all had Bimbo on them [http://www.bimbobakeriesusa.com/brand.html](http://www.bimbobakeriesusa.com/brand.html). ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/53 "2004-12-06T22:05:57Z")
> [@ccwaterback](#): > > There are various products that change their name outside the USA because the “English” name means something weird, sexual or just plain awful in a foreign country. I can’t think of a good example, but I know diet coke isn’t called diet coke in Europe. Vicks (as in the medicated nose-clearing paste)= F_ck in German. You seem to be running a cold. Here, slather yourself in f_ck paste! Or so I’m told. I don’t speak German and I’m too meek to ask people in person. So I’ll ask the board. Anyone know for sure? Thnx ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/54 "2004-12-06T22:07:19Z")
_Bimbo_ is a Mexican company. It’s sold everywhere here in Hell Paso. The brand name that gets me every time is “Anusol”, a medication for hemmorhoids. Hmmm…a compound word consisting of “anus” (the fundamental posterior orifice) and “sol” (a tremendous, scorching ball of fire fueled by nuclear fusion). Lovely. Just one of those cases where truth in advertising is best avoided. ---
**Author:** ![bannerrefugee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@bannerrefugee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bannerrefugee)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/55 "2004-12-06T22:14:12Z")
[Detonator](http://www.maxxis.com/products/bicycle/product_detail.asp?id=232) bicycle tires. Inflate to 130 PSI and not a pound more. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/56 "2004-12-06T22:28:29Z")
I suppose Hostess [Ding Dongs](http://www.twinkies.com/halloffame/dingdong.asp) deserve a mention here. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/57 "2004-12-06T23:55:13Z")
Seen at the grocer’s today: Chocolate Sand Cookies. (Chinese import Oreo knock-offs.) Mmmmmm… _Sand._ ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/58 "2004-12-07T01:14:16Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > Vicks (as in the medicated nose-clearing paste)= F_ck in German. > You seem to be running a cold. Here, slather yourself in f_ck paste! > > Or so I’m told. I don’t speak German and I’m too meek to ask people in person. So I’ll ask the board. Anyone know for sure? > > Thnx I couldn’t say for SURE, since I don’t speak German either. However, if I remember my _Hedwig and the Angry Inch_ correctly, Hedwig (then Hansel’s) mom yells something that sounds like “vicksa” at her husband, who’d apparently been molesting Hansel. I’d say it’s pretty likely that if it doesn’t quite mean “fuck” it does mean something else pretty nasty. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/59 "2004-12-07T01:32:19Z")
In R.W. Fassbinder’s _Beware the Holy Whore_, there’s a character who has a sexual obsession with flies. He frequently repeats “vicken fliegen” (“fuck flies”) in a sing-song voice, so I think it’s safe to say that ‘vick’=‘fuck.’ ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027/60 "2004-12-07T01:37:10Z")
Forgot my bad product name: [Cock Soup](http://www.asiamex.com/proddetail.cfm?CFID=17043394&CFTOKEN=72566845&ItemID=1293&CategoryID=29&SubCatID=51) It’s a product of Jamaica, I believe… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-product-name-ever/278027.md?page=2)