# Worst remakes ever!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [May 28, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949 "2009-05-28T17:53:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/21 "2009-05-28T22:13:11Z")
It’s with great trepidation that I wait for the remake of _The Taking of Pelham 123_.
I saw the preview a month ago, and I knew what they were doing in the first second of the trailer. I couldn’t believe that they were doing a remake - the original was so great.
I’m sure it’s going to suck.
_sigh_
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### Author:  [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/22 "2009-05-28T22:36:38Z")
Shall I throw in the recent Friday the 13th remake? I can’t decide if that, or the recent Terminator is the worst movie I’ve seen this year. I was _drunk_ for Friday the 13th, and it still bored me to the point of tears. Horror movies aren’t supposed to bore you when you’re drunk!
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### Author:  [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/23 "2009-05-28T22:49:22Z")
> [@silenus](#):
>
> **Wicker Man.** They took a beautiful, understated creeper and turned it into a Nick Cage movie.
I love this [youtube video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QqgIzlmdBc) of Nicolas Cage being forced to watch scenes from the Wicker Man. Excellent mashup.
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### Author:  [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/24 "2009-05-28T23:17:42Z")
Even today, [The Women](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Women_(1939_film)) remains a very sharp and very funny satire. [The Women](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Women_(2008_film)), however, is
> [@](#):
>
> a witless, straining mess
( and that’s one of the more charitable reviews)
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/25 "2009-05-29T02:11:13Z")
> [@Morbo](#):
>
> Why mess with **Psycho**? Why presume that Vince Vaughn could hold Anthony Perkins’ freakin’ jock?
Okay, given real life, ya gotta admit that Tony might actually LIKE holding Vince’s jock, though he would prefer holding what’s inside it. 😃
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/26 "2009-05-29T02:28:30Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#):
>
> About [three years time](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1334614/) roughly.
New twist?
Soylent Green is made outta dogs.
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### Author:  [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/27 "2009-05-29T02:32:13Z")
I know it hasn’t come out yet but _The Land of the Lost_ remake isn’t looking too good.
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/28 "2009-05-29T02:37:06Z")
> [@beowulff](#):
>
> It’s with great trepidation that I wait for the remake of _The Taking of Pelham 123_.
Really. Denzel vs Matthau? Maybe. Travolta Alone vs Robert Shaw (fresh off “Jaws” and “The Sting”), Martin Balsam (not entirely fresh off “Psycho,” but still in the game), Hector Elizondo (who can be a real DIS-credit to his ethnicity, if he’s asked), and Earl Hindman (a workman-like actor, and completely wasted on Home Improvement, unlike Travolta, who walked through his roles on Kotter and “Saturday Night Fever” and hasn’t been forced to act since…EVER?)?
Read the book. Hell, I also read the abridgement in _Playboy._ Saw the flick. All worked. The 1998 Made for TV worked pretty well, again because of the cast.
The new movie? Again, Travolta has to carry the weight of four characters when he can’t even carry one? Seems pointless. Buy the book and/or rent the original. It’ll probably be cheaper than two tickets to the new one.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/29 "2009-05-29T02:42:39Z")
I would nominate _The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,_ except that it never **was** remade. Never, do you hear me?! _sob_ **Never!**
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### Author:  [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/30 "2009-05-29T02:51:07Z")
Which remake:- the novel, the TV series or the LP? Thank goodness it remains unsullied by Hollywood.
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/31 "2009-05-29T03:30:16Z")
> [@dropzone](#):
>
> The new movie? Again, Travolta has to carry the weight of four characters when he can’t even carry one? Seems pointless. Buy the book and/or rent the original. It’ll probably be cheaper than two tickets to the new one.
I’m skittish because while the book and original _Pelham_ movie were taut minimalist thrillers, this new version looks like yet another opportunity for Travolta to play out his fantasy of being a master criminal with plans absurd in their complexity and carrrrrrrrrazy psycho charm, as he did in _Battlefield Earth_, _Swordfish_ and to a lesser extent _Broken Arrow_.
I look forward to reading the summary on [moviespoiler.com](http://moviespoiler.com) out of curiosity to see what pointless changes they made, but I won’t be paying to see the movie.
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### Author:  [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/32 "2009-05-29T03:45:49Z")
[Fame](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1016075/) has a September release date. We’ll see what happens.
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### Author:  [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/33 "2009-05-29T04:28:55Z")
> [@sqweels](#):
>
> _Casablanca_ was remade as the Pamela Anderson vehicle _Barb Wire_. Nuff said.
Not quite 'nuff just yet … you’ve (understandably) forgotten [Havana](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099747/).
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### Author:  [@planetcory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/planetcory)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/34 "2009-05-29T06:38:08Z")
> [@dropzone](#):
>
> Travolta has to carry the weight of four characters when he can’t even carry one?
According to [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Taking_of_Pelham_1_2_3_(2009_film)), all four characters remain separate. I guess they’re pushing Travolta since he’s the biggest name among the hijackers.
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### Author:  [@wintertime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wintertime)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/35 "2009-05-29T09:31:38Z")
> [@randwill](#):
>
> I’m probably in the minority, but I think two of the remakes of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” are pretty good because both bring something new to the material. The original 1956 version was perfect for the Cold War fearing audiences of its time. The 1978 version was an appropriate update and comment on the dangers of conformity. The 1993 version asks how would you know people were being taken over, if the ones being taken over were well-disciplined soldiers who are trained to normally act like pod people? (Plus this one has Gabrielle Anwar nudity.)
>
> I haven’t seen the most recent version but I’ve heard it sucks.
“The Invasion” (2007) is incredibly bad, the worst of the lot by far. Like you, I think that Kaufman’s version is underrated, unlike you, I can’t see the point of Ferrara’s interpretation .. or rather, it didn’t work.
When people already act like pods, there is no horror when they suddenly .. act like pods. That’s why the scenes around the little boy are, in contrast, quite disturbing: when we follow him to day care and all the children are so well behaved, controlled and silent, you get how alien they have become, and - more importantly - how much they have _lost_.
Then he has to watch his mother turn into a pod, his father dismisses his terror as a nightmare and asks him the next morning whether he wanted to stay with mommy or go back to day care .. trapped, helpless and not taken seriously – classic horror.
Btw, we also had some Meg Tilly nudity .. but since that’s a given, I see why you didn’t mention it explicitly.
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### Author:  [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/36 "2009-05-29T09:56:04Z")
> [@kelly5078](#):
>
> “The Shining.” Yeah, the remake was closer to the book, and yeah, Stephen King liked it. The problem is, Steve, that it was a pretty crummy book that Kubrick vastly improved by throwing half of it away. Maybe this doesn’t count, though, since it was a TV movie.
I beg to differ.
Stephen King is a hack, except for “Salem´s Lot”; Kubrick was a hack with no saving grace (and yes, I hold him responsable for AI too).
I didn’t read the book… well not past page 20 anyway but I saw both movies and the tv version was much better IMHO.
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### Author:  [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/37 "2009-05-29T11:59:51Z")
> [@kelly5078](#):
>
> Yeah, but Helena Bonham Carter was a really cute monkey.
>
> …
>
> Speaking of Dickens, any remake of “A Christmas Carol” that doesn’t have either Alastair Sim or Reginald Owen. George C. Scott did a reasonable reimagining of Patton as Scrooge for people who really need color. But other than that, in the name of all that’s holy or otherwise, stop remaking this thing.
HBC could have been a decent Zira. They can’t call it PotA without Zira, Cornelius & Dr. Zaius.
And I’m sorry- as much as I love the Alastair Sim ACC, Patrick Stewart is a very close second. And the Muppets version & the musical Scrooge are just great fun!
But the revisioning ones have gone waaaay too far.
Btw, The Wicker Man wins the thread. But The Hills Have Eyes was close.
Oh yeah- and Boris Karloff as Frankenstein? He was just phoning it in compared to the great Charles Ogle!!!
_That last one was a joke_
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### Author:  [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/38 "2009-05-29T12:58:06Z")
The Producers
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### Author:  [@wintertime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wintertime)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/39 "2009-05-29T13:11:01Z")
> [@Estilicon](#):
>
> I beg to differ.
> Stephen King is a hack, except for “Salem´s Lot”; Kubrick was a hack with no saving grace (and yes, I hold him responsable for AI too).
> I didn’t read the book… well not past page 20 anyway but I saw both movies and the tv version was much better IMHO.
I haven’t read much by King; “It” is, imo, a well done horror tale, apart from the ending (which seems to be King’s Achilles’ heel, if I heard correctly). But all in all, I can’t say much about his writing, inventiveness and originality.
But I’ve watched every Kubrick movie .. and “hack” isn’t a term, I’d ever use to describe his work. So, I’m seriously curious what makes you say that? Why is Kubrick a “hack”?
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### Author:  [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2009, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-remakes-ever/497949/40 "2009-05-29T13:13:30Z")
Any Steve Martin remake is a guaranteed to shit-dom:
**Father of the Bride
Cheaper by the Dozen
The Pink Panther**
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