# Worst rock&roll lyrics? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 19, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918 "2004-04-19T23:21:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/41 "2004-04-20T20:07:38Z")
> [@rimshotgdansk](#): > > When they give out the award, they oughta call it the “Billy”, in honor of the Lifetime Achievement Grand-Champion of the Crappy Rhyme Scheme, Billy Joel. > > To whit: > > _He’s talking to Davey, > Who’s still in the Navey, > and probably will be for life_ > > (Although the line preceding, “Paul is a real-estate novelist” has a certain poetic spareness to it). I don’t see whats wrong with the lifetime Navy Davy lines. The real estate novelist makes no sense to me at all. I imagine Paul writing fiction about the houses he sells. Which really doesn’t make any sense. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/42 "2004-04-20T20:25:00Z")
The thing is, there are lots of crappy rock songs. No, wait, there are way more than lots. Far too many to even attempt to describe the vast quantities of stupifyingly bad rock songs. And I’m just talking about popular ones on the radio. Finding bad rock lyrics is like shooting fish in a barrel, with a hand grenade. Easy to do, but probably will only cause you pain. What, in my opinion, truly elevates bad lyrics to being worthy of notice is when they’re married to a good tune. The crowning achievement of bad lyrics is latching onto a groove so good that you want to listen to it, yet being so bad they’re impossible to ignore, like the most luscious dessert imaginable with a turd inside. Truly bad lyrics hide inside music so good that you can’t help but listen to it, hoping that this time, you can ignore the words you know are coming. And yet every time you find yourself tasting poo. For me, one of the greats has got to be Guns N’ Roses “Sweet Child O’ Mine”. Whether you like the band’s image or not, it has one of the best hard rock guitar solos of all time – sliding from silky smooth to crazy power like Michael Jordon exploding to the basket. Even the little guitar fills are as tasteful and muscular as anything Clapton or Page or Miles Davis ever did. And yet I carry physical scars from the lyrics slamming into my brain. I mean, a parody of a retarded third grader’s lyrics would have more subtlety. Even a retarded third grader’s parody would. We’re talking constant cliches or even random words would be a giant step up here. Definitely giant sized poo pie in my book. ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/43 "2004-04-20T20:27:18Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I don’t see whats wrong with the lifetime Navy Davy lines. The real estate novelist makes no sense to me at all. I imagine Paul writing fiction about the houses he sells. Which really doesn’t make any sense. I think of Paul as a frustrated novelist who will never be published, thus never realizing his dream. He sells real estate to live but his heart is elsewhere. He’s probably deluding himself, like every New York waiter who’s “really an actor”. He’s just a very sad character to me. And all of that is expressed in six words; not bad. But it still doesn’t make up for the cheap rhyme following. Joel’s lyrics imply that there’s something _wrong_ with being “still in the Navy”, but we don’t know why. I think he came up with the name “Davey”, and cast about for the first rhyme. It’s lazy songwriting. A better lyric would have been \*And he’s talking to Chester, Who’s still a . . . \* Well, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/44 "2004-04-20T20:32:40Z")
> [@rimshotgdansk](#): > > But it still doesn’t make up for the cheap rhyme following. Joel’s lyrics imply that there’s something _wrong_ with being “still in the Navy”, but we don’t know why. He was drafted, then after his stint in the navy was over stayed in because he had no direction in life, and, hey, it’s something. And he isn’t likely to get any other prospects, so he’ll wait out his working years in the navy. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/45 "2004-04-20T20:57:39Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > And I’ll probably get killed because I don’t like this song (or any song by Duran Duran for that matter) > > Hungry Like The Wolf when he says “I smell like I sound.” Huh? Well keep in mind that Duran Duran sound like shit… so by extension, he didn’t smell very pleasant. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/46 "2004-04-20T20:58:48Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I imagine Paul writing fiction about the houses he sells. Which really doesn’t make any sense. Sure it does. There’s plenty of fiction in your average real estate listing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/47 "2004-04-20T21:09:25Z")
> [@rimshotgdansk](#): > > A better lyric would have been > > \*And he’s talking to Chester, > Who’s still a . . . \* 😃 Mine, from The Eagles: _He was a hard-headed man he was brutally handsome And she was terminally pretty…_ and _Her mind is Tiffany twisted She’s got the Mercedes bends_ ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/48 "2004-04-20T21:10:34Z")
I think you are all forgetting the Broccoli scenter fart that is: “Domo arigato Mr Roboto For helping me escape when I needed to” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/49 "2004-04-20T21:10:57Z")
> [@rimshotgdansk](#): > > I think of Paul as a frustrated novelist who will never be published, thus never realizing his dream. He sells real estate to live but his heart is elsewhere. He’s probably deluding himself, like every New York waiter who’s “really an actor”. He’s just a very sad character to me. I did some looking and found this at [songfacts](http://songfacts.com/detail.lasso?id=1079): > [@](#): > > Inspired by Joel’s experiences playing at The Executive Room, a piano bar in Los Angeles. He worked there for 6 months in 1972 after his first solo album, Cold Spring Harbor, tanked. The characters in the song are based on real people Joel encountered working at The Executive Room. > > The line “Paul is a real estate novelist” is about a real estate broker who was a regular at the bar who always claimed to be working on a book. Joel figured Paul would never finish because he was always in the bar. ---
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/50 "2004-04-20T21:21:29Z")
I’ve actually managed to block both the band and the first line from my memory, but there is a song out there that was so desperate for a rhyme that they used “I felt like I just ate my young” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/51 "2004-04-20T21:32:10Z")
> [@plnnr](#): > > For all of their musical genius, you have to admit that > > “She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah” > > is not the most insightful lyric. Paul’s father wanted him to change it to “yes, yes, yes” so it would at least have _some_ dignity to it. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/52 "2004-04-20T21:52:06Z")
In addition to being a trite collection of boiler-plate quasi-political cynical BS grandstanding, _Spirits in the Material World_ also had the worst rhyme in history: Our so-called leaders speak With words they try to jail ya The subjugate the meek But it’s the rhetoric of fail-ya ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/53 "2004-04-20T21:59:52Z")
Somebody already stole my favorite (“Only time will tell if we stand the test of time”), so I’ll list some other stinker: “We gotta start from the start”- Loverboy. Gee, no kidding. Damn. Thats all I can think of right now. ☹ Good thing I signed up today. * * * “But I’ll always regret that Rwandan thing.” --Bill Clinton ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/54 "2004-04-20T22:01:57Z")
“Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak, Somewhere in this town…” Huh. Gee, I wonder where it could be? ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/55 "2004-04-20T22:17:46Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > “Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak, > Somewhere in this town…” Oh, yeah, that one always cracks me up. The “only time will tell” line is another absolute fave, maybe the best ever, although MacArthur Park does indeed give a good run for the money, even if it ain’t rock&roll. The classics are rollin’ now! Along the lines of “jail ya / failya”, let us not forget: Come on , shake your body baby, do the conga I know you can’t control yourself any longa Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronga ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/56 "2004-04-20T22:46:20Z")
> [@Thudlow Boink](#): > > I do? Actually, if you listen to the whole song, it’s not a bad bit of songwriting. And not all that cliched, either: it’s not every love song that’s written in the third person. > \*\*And **askeptic** , even though I know better, I can never hear that AC/DC song without thinking he’s singing “She was a fax machine.” \*\* Thudlow Boink: Don’t know how I missed this, but crap, Mountain Dew hurts when it comes out your nose! Thanks for the laugh buddy. I don’t think I will ever be able to listen to that song again without thinking about Fax Machines. Damn you… 😃😃😃🙂🙂🙂😉 I nedded something to cheer me up after reading sombody attempting to compare Guns n Roses to real musicians like Clapton. Wonder if he ever heard of Randy Rhodes, Eddie Van Halen (back in the old days when he was hot) or Jimmy Page or Ritchie Blackmore?. Besides didn’t Vince Neal bitch slap the GNR singer? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/57 "2004-04-20T22:56:15Z")
> [@the Lady](#): > > I’ve actually managed to block both the band and the first line from my memory, but there is a song out there that was so desperate for a rhyme that they used > “I felt like I just ate my young” “Ballad of Andrea Yates”? Ooo-eee baby, Steve Miller could really crank out the bad lyrics. _“Some people call me Maurice Cause I speak of the pompitous of love”_ Some people wish they had a remote vaporization switch every time this comes on the radio. _“People talk about me, baby Say I’m doin’ you wrong, doin’ you wrong Well, don’t you worry baby Don’t worry Cause I’m right here, right here, right here, right here at home”_ Well thanks for clearing _that_ up. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/58 "2004-04-20T23:02:57Z")
> [@vl\_mungo](#): > > I gotta go with the all time “classic”, **MacArthur Park** > > - Someone left the cake out in the rain > I don’t think that I can take it > 'Cause it took so long to bake it > And I’ll never have that recipe again\* > > Bletch. Nowadays, of course, he could probably find the recipe on the Internet fairly quickly. ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/59 "2004-04-21T01:38:44Z")
I like **Dream Theater** …Dont get me wrong. But, could somebody explain these lyrics _The took pictures of our dreams_ _Tried to hide behind the stairs_ _And said maybe when the time is right they’ll fall_😕 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/60 "2004-04-21T01:58:10Z")
Ahhh, but **Quercus** you didn’t actually name the most offensive lyric GNR subjected us to! The very first thing that popped into my head for this thread, it’s just that jarring. _She’s got eyes that it seems to me remind me of childhood memories_ Why does he need to qualify that it’s just how it seems to him? How can you be reminded OF a memory?! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918.md?page=4)