# Worst rock&roll lyrics? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 19, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918 "2004-04-19T23:21:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/101 "2004-04-21T23:03:38Z")
> [@rimshotgdansk](#): > > When they give out the award, they oughta call it the “Billy”, in honor of the Lifetime Achievement Grand-Champion of the Crappy Rhyme Scheme, Billy Joel. > > To whit: > > _He’s talking to Davey, > Who’s still in the Navey, > and probably will be for life_ > > (Although the line preceding, “Paul is a real-estate novelist” has a certain poetic spareness to it). However, Billy Joel has said in interviews that the song was written while he was playing piano in a piano bar (makes sense, eh?) in California, while hiding to get out of a horrible contract. According to Joel, everyone mentioned in the song is a real person. And he said that there really WAS a guy named Davey, how was a career Navy man. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/102 "2004-04-21T23:05:36Z")
Speaking of Billy Joel, by the way, how about his song _Don’t Ask Me Why_? Yesterday, you were an only child Now your ghosts have gone away You can kill them in the classic style Now you parlez vous Francias. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/103 "2004-04-21T23:56:14Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > I know this is not the pit and I have been biting my tongue. Everyone is certainly entitled to his or her opinion. But crap to say all Dylan songs are crap is tantamount to saying “I Am Too Stupid To Breath” And you certainly ain’t a Parrot Head if you do not like “Come Monday”. I’ll stand by all Dylan songs are crap, but my revulsion for _Come Monday_ might be a little overstated. I happen to like the tune a lot, but the cited line is absolutely awful. > [@askeptic](#): > > So there, you big meanie… I know you are, but what am I? 😃😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/104 "2004-04-22T01:10:15Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > But [The whole song](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Hardest-Button-To-Button-lyrics-The-White-Stripes/A415CC4B7A1B676F48256D48001667E0) is full of some really goofy lyrics. Jack actually manages to not sound…uhm…dumb singing this stuff, but taking it out of the context of the song. Hoo boy. OK, I’ve heard that song at least a hundred times and know all the lyrics and I STILL never noticed how goofy they are until you pointed it out. I guess everything Jack White touches turns to cool. 🆒 I agree with **Sample\_the\_Dog** , though: the “opinions/pancake batter” lines are some of my favorite song lyrics ever. > [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > Now, if he’d only stop trying to pretend he’s a Brit (“the hardest bu’on to bu’on”). I don’t know where you’re from, but I’m from Louisiana and I say “bu’on” – not as exaggerated as in the song, but it’s definitely not “button.” I find it’s actually the opposite with a lot of British stuff. In Elvis Costello’s “Green Shirt,” for example, there’s the line “you shine all the buttons on your green shirt.” When I sing along to it, it’s obvious how differently we pronounce “button.” I’ve noticed the same thing even with British punk. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/105 "2004-04-22T02:13:49Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > - “An albino, a mosquito, a mulatto, palomino - a denial, a denial…” - makes no sense whatsoever, yet is a great rock lyric in a perfect rock song… [Nitpick] It’s “A mulatto…An albino…A mosquito…My Libido” [/Nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/106 "2004-04-22T02:48:44Z")
Of any hit or semi-hit song the Who ever had, _Happy Jack_ ranks at the top for the dumbest lyrics, i.e. "The kids couldn’t hurt Jack They tried and tried and tried They dropped things on his back And lied and lied and lied and lied and lied But they couldn’t stop Jack, or the waters lapping And they couldn’t prevent Jack from feeling happy" Oh, and whether it’s pompatus, pompitus or pulpitudes, I don’t care if Moses collected the original reference on a tablet, it’s still a wretched lyric to a loathsome song. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/107 "2004-04-22T05:18:10Z")
Axl Rose was a terrible lyricist, and in that regard he was perfectly suited to Guns ‘n’ Roses, a terrible band. Comparing them to Clapton is silly, putting them in a sentence with Miles Davis should be a capital offense. > [@](#): > > “When I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.” (The hell you say!) That’s no good because that line is obviously not meant to be taken seriously. Same for the rest of this song. I love this line, I figure it’s a Yogi Berra-ism. > [@](#): > > But The whole song is full of some really goofy lyrics. Jack actually manages to not sound…uhm…dumb singing this stuff Says you. I seriously considered jumping out of a moving car when I heard this song. I waited because I had trouble believing that was what he was really saying (I tuned in late to hear him sing “the ha’ist bu’in ta bu’in” 25 times). Come on, man, if you’re going to write a completely moronic lyric, have the guts to sing it so people can understand the words. It’s not an accent, he’s admitted that he tries to sing like a little kid. I can’t imagine it sounding worse than it did there. > [@](#): > > “How is the weather?” I think it’s funny. Maybe it’s not intentionally funny, but I don’t know. Either way, it amuses me, so I can’t hate it. > [@](#): > > “If they say I never loved you > you know they are a liar.” Bingo. Totally stupid. > [@](#): > > If the randomly inserted “Deep fried chicken” isn’t the worst forced rhyme in music history, you tell me what is. I’m not disagreeing, but how about “And there she was/like double cherry pie?” [later “disco lemonade”] Come on, guys. If you have John Lennon’s talent, you can do word salad. If you don’t, don’t. > [@](#): > > Smashmouth’s All Star So, SO stupid. All of it. > [@](#): > > I just looked in the mirror > Things aren’t looking so good > I’m looking California > And feeling Minnesota They made a movie called Feeling Minnesota (and Courtney Love was in it), and it’s a rule of the universe that movies named after song titles almost always suck, but I like this line anyway. > [@](#): > > I saw a lion, he was standing alone > with a tadpole in a jar. This is the first lyric I’ve heard here that I didn’t think was actually real. But apparently, it is. Wow. Every time you think you have no respect left for Zep… There’s a lesson to be learned here: there’s a fine line between cleverness and utter stupidity, and rock lyrics have forever trod recklessly over that boundary. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/108 "2004-04-22T05:52:08Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Are you actually suggesting that ABBA is a Rock Band? God no, just taking the opportunity to pay out on my favourite bad band 🙂 You want dumb rock lyrics? Step right up folks: "She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack She’s got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack She’s got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack" Thanks for that insight, AC/DC - but what was it she has, again? What’s that, Stevie Ray? Feeling left out? Go for it: “Yeah you really groove me baby when you move your hips Shake it all around and change me pound for pound I want you all the time just because You know you really have give me a buzz” Thanks for coming, SRV, you can go now. ---
**Author:** ![RindaRinda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@RindaRinda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RindaRinda)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/109 "2004-04-22T06:03:39Z")
I suffered A LOT during the heyday of the hair metal bands in the '80s, when it seemed everyone around me was listening . I’ve managed to block most of it out, but what stands out the most is Motley Crue (also guilty of umlaut abuse): _Now she’s bullet-proof Keeps her motor clean And believe me, you She’s a number thirteen_ Remembering the chorus alone of **Shout at the Devil** is torture enough. I won’t try to remember any other part of the song. It’s probably unfair to list Bon Jovi, as listing their stupid lyrics would provide enough material for a whole other thread, but these in particular cause my brain to short-circuit: _Remember when we lost the keys And you lost more than that in my back seat_ And the mind-boggling _I’m a cowboy On a steel horse I ride I’m wanted (wanted) Dead or alive_ ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/110 "2004-04-22T06:14:16Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Umm, that line is not by Led Zep, it is by Robert Johnson, the master himself. Shame on you! > 🙂 Erm, I don’t think so. I’d have to dig, but I’m pretty sure that one is just one of the many recycled proto-blues and early blues lines that you run across all the time. Sorta like “I got a woman, long and tall, sleeps with her head in the kitchen and her feet in the hall,” anything about “sittin’/climbin’ on top of the hill/world/etc,” “leavin’ trunk blues,” or the old “I don’t know but I’ve been told…” form. There are probably hundreds more examples. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/111 "2004-04-22T06:19:29Z")
Speaking of bad lyrics, hair bands, and abusive punctuation… \*Oh I gotta sing with some disgrace I’m in no hurry And I don’t know why I don’t know why anymore no, no, no Cum on feel the noize Girls rock your boys We get wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild\* ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/112 "2004-04-22T06:28:20Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > Speaking of bad lyrics, hair bands, and abusive punctuation… Oops, sorry, meant “spelling”, not “punctuation”. Maybe they couldn’t figure out a way to LedZep the band name, so had to settle for putting noize in a song title. \He said “cum”. Heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/113 "2004-04-22T06:53:26Z")
Since we’re talking Zep, did anyone mention Fool in the Rain? I didn’t think of it myself, I saw it in a different discussion about the same list. But that’s always been my least favorite Zeppelin song. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/114 "2004-04-22T13:51:46Z")
Ah, Mr Plant: _You were pumping iron While I was pumping irony_ Heaven Knows (ut won’t be held responsible) ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/115 "2004-04-22T14:56:19Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#): > > Post-Roger Waters Pink Floyd… No such band ::fingers in ears:: lalalala… I’m a bit late to this thread lemme think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Leechboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Leechboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leechboy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/116 "2004-04-22T15:50:35Z")
Three pages and no Ynwie J. Malmsteen? I AM A VIKING I am a Viking I’m going out to war I’ve got death on my mind As I was leaving Oh Yesterday I’ve got no fear in my heart. A Line that kills me, grammatically - “I just died in you arms tonight” - Cutting Crew There’s a backlash a’brewin down here in Oz against Nickelback’s recent single which features lines like - I like the dirt that’s on your knees I like the way you still say please While you looking up at me You’re like my favourite damn disease… ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/117 "2004-04-22T16:04:16Z")
> [@Leechboy](#): > > There’s a backlash a’brewin down here in Oz against Nickelback’s recent single which features lines like - > > I like the dirt that’s on your knees > I like the way you still say please > While you looking up at me > You’re like my favourite damn disease… An even “better” selection from that song: And I love the way you pass the check And I love the good times that you wreck And I love your lack of self respect While you’re passed out on the deck I love my hands around your neck WTF. Combine a lame-ass rhyme scheme (extra bonus points for attempting to rhyme “respect” in there) with a possible reference to abuse and/or erotic asphyxiation techniques. Lovely. I detest that song, but I’ve found that their “Too Damn Good” song grates on my nerves just as much, so it’s not just the somewhat offensive lyrics that does it, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/118 "2004-04-22T16:13:27Z")
A couple of doozies. **Richie Valens’ _Boney Maroney_** _I got a girl named Boney Maroney She’s as skinny as a stick of macaroni Oughta see her rock-n-roll with her blue jeans on She’s not very fat she’s just skin and bones_ Ouch. **Bruce Springsteen’s _I’m On Fire_** _At night I wake up with the sheets open wide And a freight train runnin’ through the middle of my head_ Huh? **Met At Work’s _Down Under_** _I come from a land down under Where beer does flow and men chunder_ And to think I sang this song for years not knowing that “chunder” means “to vomit”. Oh, there’s an inspirational line to make your country proud! ---
**Author:** ![Thingol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Thingol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thingol)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/119 "2004-04-22T17:28:36Z")
> [@Kizarvexius](#): > > _At night I wake up with the sheets open wide > And a freight train runnin’ through the middle of my head_ I think those sheets are “soaking wet”, not “open wide”. And maybe your sheets would be soaking wet, too, if _Someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley through the middle of [your] soul._ Uh, yeah… Oh, almost forgot this gem from The Godfathers’ “Birth School Work Death”: _Been turned around till I’m upside down. Been all at sea until I’ve drowned. And I’ve felt torture, I’ve felt pain, Just like that film with Michael Caine._ Btw, IMDB lists [117 films w/ Michael Caine](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000323/#actor). ---
**Author:** ![doomraisin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d78d45/32.png) [@doomraisin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doomraisin)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918/120 "2004-04-22T17:55:18Z")
This one’s easy for me. I’ve got a few examples, but the one I like to use the most is the awful Foreigner song “Feels Like the First Time.” It’s nothing more than the most banal cliches one could imagine strung together, like something a not-too-bright teenager would come up with if ordered to write a song: _I would climb any mountain Sail across a stormy sea If that’s what it takes me baby To show you how much you mean to me And I guess it’s just the woman in you That brings out the man in me I know I can’t help myself You’re all in the world to me_ Almost unbelievably bad, yes? Sure, there are lyrics that people just don’t like for one reason or another, but purely stupid lyrics are something else entirely. Here are a couple that have always bugged me because of really bad grammar. Here’s Sir Paul from “Live and Let Die:” _But if this ever-changing world in which we live in…_ Preposition problems there, Mr. McCartney? And how about this from Kansas - “Point of Know Return:” _Was it you that said, “How long, how long, How long to the point of know return?”_ “You **that** said?” What’s wrong with the schools in Kansas? “You **who** said” would be much better. I could go on. And on and on. But I’ve got work to do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-rock-roll-lyrics/240918.md?page=7)