# Worst... Sci-fi...Ever... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 15, 2004, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049 "2004-12-15T22:40:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/101 "2004-12-16T21:18:51Z")
Well, the early 80’s were a hotbed of bad sci-fi flicks, such as: [Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085935/combined) [Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086346/combined) (in 3-D!) [Yor, Hunter from the Future](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084935/combined) Sadly, I have seen all of these movies. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/102 "2004-12-16T21:38:36Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > Highlander. > > 1. > > I win, you can all go home now. > > Although I can hear my co-worker now… “There was no Highlander 2. That was a myth.” > > Ich. Hell, I can trump that: Highlander 1. ---
**Author:** ![doverpro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@doverpro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doverpro)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/103 "2004-12-16T21:49:16Z")
Hah! I have you all beat! **Zardoz!** ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/104 "2004-12-16T22:16:46Z")
**Zardoz** is one of the best movies _ever_ – what the hell are you talking about? Okay, it’s not Arthur C. Clarke. But it’s a _very, very_ satisfying film. Especially if you’re high. Really high. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/105 "2004-12-16T22:20:13Z")
Really, really, _really_ high. “Look! Connery’s in a diaper!” > [@Dante](#): > > Well, the early 80’s were a hotbed of bad sci-fi flicks And I’m the first to mention the absolute worst of the lot: **Solarbabies** , with the flying glowing sphere thingie. Christ, but that movie was pure anus. > [@rjung](#): > > [**Camelot 30K,**](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0312852150/qid=1103154420/sr=1-5/ref=sr_1_5/002-8154966-6687210?v=glance&s=books) by Robert L. Forward Hey, I read that. Definitely painful, though the ending was kinda cool. Forward’s books are almost all like that. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/106 "2004-12-16T22:42:31Z")
Some thus-far unmentioned candidates: Tron Tank Girl Independence Day Mom & David Save the World - or some such cheesy title like that, starred Jon Lovitz and Teri Garr (who deserved better). Chopping Mall Something’s Wrong on Saturn-3: Farrah Fawcett-Majors actually quit the most popular television show on the air at the time to star in this debacle! (Granted, she left “Charlie’s Angels”, but still… ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/107 "2004-12-16T22:42:37Z")
To stoke the fire a bit more: Space Truckers- Stephen Dorff and Dennis Hopper run an intergalactic shipping service. Ok. No problems there. The cargo? Genetically modified “square” pigs (for easy stacking). Picture row upon row of pink boxes with Jim Henson puppet pig faces. Remove tape. Return to store. Demand refund. Howard the Duck- A duck from outer space? Ok… I guess… Aduck from outer space that hooks up with a reasonably cute girl on earth, and she actually wants to be his girlfriend? Produced by George Lucas? Eh? Sphere- A big ball at the bottom of the ocean that… does… something… zzz… dustin hoffman… zzz … sharon stone… keeps clothes on… ball bad… fish… And I didnt mind Alien Resurrection that much, but those little cubes that Dan Hedaya had, that you put into a little machine that shot a laser into the cube and turned it to liquid (whisky in this case) , what the f… ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/108 "2004-12-16T22:48:26Z")
> [@Laughing Lagomorph](#): > > The TV show or the more recent movie? I was actually referring to the TV show. I had enough common sense to not even bother with the movie, so I’ve never seen it. Although, when I nominated the TV show, I wasn’t taking into account the ‘camp’ factor, since it wasn’t intended to be tongue-in-cheek when it was first broadcast. And to further vindicate it, as Merijeek pointed out (although he was referring to the film), anything that _does_ have scantily clad babes in it really can’t be all that bad, and therefore isn’t deserving of being nominated to be at the _absolute_ bottom of the detritus pile. I humbly retract my nomination. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/109 "2004-12-16T22:59:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Mom & David Save the World - or some such cheesy title like that, starred Jon Lovitz and Teri Garr (who deserved better). One of my favorite movies. I rent it occasionally when I need a good laugh. Sure the SF wasn’t that great, but it wasn’t meant to be. > [@](#): > > Camelot 30K, by Robert L. Forward Read it. Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it. Odd that while Ed Wood himself has been mentioned, no one has mentioned any of his films. Sure theyr’e great campy fun, but they weren’t meant to be. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/110 "2004-12-16T23:13:35Z")
You all just don’t understand. _The Eye Of Argon_ was already mentioned. It wins, even against _Santa Claus vs. The Martians_. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/111 "2004-12-16T23:15:10Z")
> [@Danalan](#): > > Seven of Nine. Come on people, has there ever been a more obvious ploy for ratings in the history of television? You can just hear the studio executives: “Yeah, yeah, the show’s great. Just great. I like the idea of a strong female lead. It needs something, though… I know! Get some blond with huge breasts, and put her in spandex. Now we’re talking good television.” _see also:_ **Blalock, Jolene** as T’Pol in _Enterprise_. Although, Jeri Ryan was remarkably good in VOY – I actually found her boobs to be distracting from her performance. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/112 "2004-12-16T23:17:12Z")
> [@ITR champion](#): > > Was anybody else pissed off by the number of episodes on the original Star Trek where the crew found some planet which for some silly reason (or maybe no silly reason) was based on some period in human history. You know, even if a book of Chicago prohibition-era mobsters did get transported to another planet, I find it doubtful the inhabitants of that planet would feel compelled to rearrange their society so as to conform to what was said in that book, and how would they read the book anyway? Oh, man - that _was_ lame. The worst was the planet that paralleled the USA except the commies were in charge and they were forbidden to read the Constitution. There was a cursory explanation given at the beginning as to why the planet was the same as Earth. As the Enterprise approached, they said something about so-and-so’s “theory of parallel planet development”. At least I _think_ it was that episode. Anyway, it was way stupid. Having all the planets look like Earth was probably a lot cheaper than alien makeup and set-building. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/113 "2004-12-16T23:22:14Z")
Oh, and let’s not forget the king of all bad science fiction - Frankenstein. Hmmm…lets sew a bunch of dead body parts together, hit 'em with a bolt of lightning, and make 'em come to life. Yeah, _that’ll_ work. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/114 "2004-12-16T23:25:04Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > Tron Gack! I forgot abour that, I think I mentally blocked it out (Loved the book, hated the movie). Thanks for the memory. And if anyone here ever gets a chance to watch _Macross 7_–don’t. I watched it through to the end. It was bad. Horrible. Good music and art, but the plot sucks. The other Macross shows are worth watching though. _ST: Voyager_ was alright. Except for the episodes questioning if the Doctor was a person. Got a tad bit tedious. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/115 "2004-12-16T23:28:20Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Oh, and let’s not forget the king of all bad science fiction - Frankenstein. Hmmm…lets sew a bunch of dead body parts together, hit 'em with a bolt of lightning, and make 'em come to life. Yeah, _that’ll_ work. :rolleyes: IIRC, the book doesn’t actually make any mention of lightning bolts or stitched together corpses. The actual process of creating the monster is never explicitly described. On the other hand, the monster does learn how to speak English by over-hearing a French peasant teaching the language to a run-away Arabian princess in a barn, and later how to read by stumbling across a trunk full of turgid philosophical treatises, so there’s still plenty of :rolleyes: to go around. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/116 "2004-12-16T23:29:14Z")
> [@Bambi Hassenpfeffer](#): > > _see also:_ **Blalock, Jolene** as T’Pol in _Enterprise_. > > Although, Jeri Ryan was remarkably good in VOY – I actually found her boobs to be distracting from her performance. Apparently they, or stories about them and the rest of her anyway, were distracting to her husband in his Senate campaign as well… ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/117 "2004-12-17T00:11:12Z")
> [@Balle\_M](#): > > Kari looks like the girl next door. > If you live next door to a whorehouse. Oh, [Kari can do “wholesome”](http://www.kariwuhrer.net/kariportfolio/kari223.jpg) as well as “sexy.” ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/118 "2004-12-17T00:16:56Z")
J’reiterate: _The Eye of Argon_. I challenge anyone on the board to find a worse piece of sci-fi than the following snippet: > [@Jim Theis](#): > > The weather beaten trail wound ahead into the dust racked climes of the baren land which dominates large portions of the Norgolian empire. Age worn hoof prints smothered by the sifting sands of time shone dully against the dust splattered crust of earth. The tireless sun cast its parching rays of incandescense from overhead, half way through its daily revolution. Small rodents scampered about, occupying themselves in the daily accomplishments of their dismal lives. Dust sprayed over three heaving mounts in blinding clouds, while they bore the burdonsome cargoes of their struggling overseers. > “Prepare to embrace your creators in the stygian haunts of hell, barbarian”, gasped the first soldier. > “Only after you have kissed the fleeting stead of death, wretch!” returned Grignr. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/119 "2004-12-17T00:17:33Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > On the other hand, the monster does learn how to speak English by over-hearing a French peasant teaching the language to a run-away Arabian princess in a barn, and later how to read by stumbling across a trunk full of turgid philosophical treatises, so there’s still plenty of :rolleyes: to go around. Eh. _Frankenstein_ (“that’s Frrronkenshteen”) was a product of the literary Gothic era. All of the above is dime-a-dozen in the Gothic universe. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/120 "2004-12-17T00:20:14Z")
> [@Tracy Lord](#): > > J’reiterate: _The Eye of Argon_. I challenge anyone on the board to find a worse piece of sci-fi than the following snippet: Heheheheheehee… I love _Argon_! It’s like someone threw Herbert, Howard and Bullworth-Lytton in a small room together and started pumping in aerosol aphrodisiacs… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049.md?page=7)