# Worst... Sci-fi...Ever... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 15, 2004, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049 "2004-12-15T22:40:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/121 "2004-12-17T00:21:43Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Heheheheheehee… > > I love _Argon_! It’s like someone threw Herbert, Howard and Bullworth-Lytton in a small room together and started pumping in aerosol aphrodisiacs… Bullwer-Lytton. :smack: I swear I haven’t been watching any Warren Beatty movies… ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/122 "2004-12-17T00:25:51Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Don’t go rolling your eyes at me. What part of BBtS is good but flawed? It was a cheesy Roger Corman attempt at cashing in on Star Wars without actually putting any money into it. Take the Magnificant Seven (including Robert Vaughn in the same role) add cheesy FX, horrible acting, bad dialogue and laughable plot devices. It’s good for MSTing with your friends but it is a horrid movie. Hey, I went to high school with the woman who played the Chief Space Whore in BBtS (who was also a Penthouse Pet of the Year) so … um … yeah! (Actually, that’s probably where I got that “girl next door” “looks like a whorehouse resident” thing going that\*\* Balle\_M\*\* is on about.) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/123 "2004-12-17T00:28:09Z")
All I remember about BBtS is the skeevy subplot about the organic sentient spaceship being in love with John-Boy. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/124 "2004-12-17T00:30:26Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > **Zardoz** is one of the best movies _ever_ – what the hell are you talking about? > > Okay, it’s not Arthur C. Clarke. > > But it’s a _very, very_ satisfying film. > > Especially if you’re high. > > Really high. Especially if you “Eat the leaf.” ---
**Author:** ![phaishazamkhan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@phaishazamkhan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phaishazamkhan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/125 "2004-12-17T00:39:02Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > Was that the version of _Lathe_ they showed on PBS, with aliens wearing white space-armor that made them look like the Sidney Opera House? That wasn’t armor, they were metallic, interstellar turtles dreamed up by Orr. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/126 "2004-12-17T00:43:22Z")
I would say the worst SF movie I’ve ever seen, bar none, including all the ones listed here, which are very, very, very bad is [Galaxina](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080771/). Galaxina wasn’t just bad, it was repulsive. It starred a Playboy Playmate and also Avery Schrieber. It’s like the people who made Freddy Got Fingered wrote an SF script about a hot babe, and hired Ed Wood to direct. ---
**Author:** ![phaishazamkhan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@phaishazamkhan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phaishazamkhan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/127 "2004-12-17T00:51:47Z")
Dark City was science fiction but it’s really the worst movie of all time. Outdoing everyone’s choice of Manos: The Hands of Fate. Plbbtttt on Proyas. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/128 "2004-12-17T01:03:23Z")
Regarding _The Last Starfighter_ : > [@rjung](#): > > the plot was fairly intelligent, the Starfighter was a kick-ass ship, \ “Starfighter” was the gunner’s job description. The space ship itself was called a “Gunstar”. \ ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/129 "2004-12-17T01:05:06Z")
Regarding the PBS broadcast of _The Lathe of Heaven_ : > [@phaishazamkhan](#): > > That wasn’t armor, they were metallic, interstellar turtles dreamed up by Orr. Oh. I must have thought it was armor, because the aliens just _stood there and never moved a millimeter, ever!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/130 "2004-12-17T01:14:34Z")
> [@phaishazamkhan](#): > > Dark City was science fiction but it’s really the worst movie of all time. Goddamn, man! First Firefly, now Dark City? What science fiction _do_ you like? ---
**Author:** ![WortMeWorry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@WortMeWorry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WortMeWorry)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/131 "2004-12-17T01:19:12Z")
Dr. Shrinker, Dr. Shrinker, He’s a mad man with an evil mind. Dr. Shrinker, Dr. Shrinker, He’s as crazy as you’ll ever find. Let’s not forget, ElectroWoman,and DynaGirl. ---
**Author:** ![phaishazamkhan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@phaishazamkhan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phaishazamkhan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/132 "2004-12-17T01:40:03Z")
Only because you asked me. Not in any particular order. Childhood’s End. Some Ted Chiang stories. A Wrinkle in Time. Haldeman. Bears Discover Fire. Dune. Babylon 5. The first three seasons of Farscape but definitely not the recent miniseries. The PBS version of The Lathe of Heaven which made LeGuin palatable. I’m glad that I only came across the Asimov anecdote today otherwise I would’ve been soured on it. Alastair Reynolds. Bruce Sterling. There’s more but I’m late for dinner and I am not fat enough as it is. I read _a lot_ of anthologies. Skimming over the definitions and entries over at Orion’s Arm is a lovely pastime but in a universe full of wormholes, plancktech and reactionless drives I think it’s really silly to say “OMG NO FTL SCIENTIFIC ACCURACY BOYS AND GIRLS!!!” These aren’t science fiction but I guess they _may_ fall into that category by some stretch of the imagination. The Night We Buried Road Dog. Earth Abides. I’m not particularly fond of Orson Scott Card, Ursula LeGuin or William Gibson. Go ahead and pronounce your judgement, Dopers. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/133 "2004-12-17T07:16:13Z")
Take “FIRE MAIDENS OF TITAN” -a British -made POS from the 1950’s-a bunch of Brit astronauts fly to Titan aboard an old surplus German V-2 rocket. On Tian, they find: -a breathable atmospher-a bunch of sexy human females, wearing skimpy togas/stolas, and worshipping the ancient greek gods -an old evil man, who hates the earthmen -greek temples So why do humans who travel o other planets automatically encounter hese copies of ancient Rome, Greece, Egypt, etc.? -and why all the nubile big-boobed females (who are hot to have sex with humans)? Finally, nobody seems to think that very advanced civilizations would probably spend their time playing advanced video games (which include sex), rather than venturing into outer space! ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/134 "2004-12-17T07:51:16Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Heh. THere’s probably not much overlap between Asimov fans and Le Guin fans. I actually like both. I might be the only one, though. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/135 "2004-12-17T08:22:51Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > IIRC, the book doesn’t actually make any mention of lightning bolts or stitched together corpses. The actual process of creating the monster is never explicitly described. Yeah, but I don’t think that’s by choice. I just don’t think she could come up with any interesting details on the process of creating the monster, so she just glossed over it. It was originally a short story that was later expanded into a novel. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/136 "2004-12-17T10:20:14Z")
> [@Mr. Miskatonic](#): > > There was a cheesy live-action Saturday morning sci-fi show (not Land of the Lost, so don’t go there) that made other cheesy Sat. morning shows look like gold by comparison. It was done in a ‘Flash Gordon’ style serial except that nothing ever happened. > > The hero had a pet pocket robot that was essentially just a wind up toy. Every episode our hero would be caught and chained to the wall. The pocket robot would come out (never got confiscated) climb up the wall, foot over foot wind-up toy style, and then ‘zap’ the chains and free our hero. > > Every.Single.Episode. had this happen. It seemed to be filmed in a cheesy cave. I think the baddies spaceship was a giant lump of coal. > > All I remember is it being on late 70’s in the wake of Star Wars (get anything sci-fi on TV now!) Was it **Jason of Star Command**? Nobody has yet mentioned **AI** , which stank like a dead walrus - let’s build a robot child so lifelike it’s indistinguishable from a human, and then make it really stupid, like an android Ralph Wiggum. Hah! I laughed when she dumped the dumb little bugger in the woods. Oh, and **Minority Report** : basically a Jean Claude Van Damme movie with a higher budget and undergraduate metaphysics instead of kickboxing. The kicker, though, has to be **Johnny Mnemonic** - any resemblance to William Gibson’s short story was purely coincidental. Ice-T? Dolph Lundgren? HENRY ROLLINS? Boy, Keanu sure can pick 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/137 "2004-12-17T12:46:01Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Bah! Comes nowhere near to being the worst sci-fi of all time – the plot was fairly intelligent, the Starfighter was a kick-ass ship, Centari’s flying car was 90% as cool as Marty McFly’s DeLorean, and it had Robert Preston in it. **The Last Starfighter** ain’t no **Citizen Kane,** but it was good enough to be made into a musical. > > Though I recommend the novelization of the movie as a companion piece; it does a better job with the climactic space battle than the film does. :eek: Novelizations of films that depended mainly on visuals and didn’t do a great job (though I saw it once and it was fun afaicr) are normally the LAST place I look for good novels. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/138 "2004-12-17T13:03:27Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Don’t you mean Fred Ward? Why, yes. Yes, I \*do \* mean Fred Ward. Duh. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/139 "2004-12-17T13:13:01Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > Mom & David Save the World - or some such cheesy title like that, starred Jon Lovitz and Teri Garr (who deserved better). \*Mom and Dad Save the World \* shouldn’t really qualify for this list, because it never took itself seriously enough to be anything more than a so-stupid-it’s-funny comedy. Sort of like _The Adventures of Captain Zoom in Outer Space_. Remember that one? ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049/140 "2004-12-17T13:42:29Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Speaking of 70’s cheesy live-action Saturday morning science fiction shows, does anyone else remember that show that could best be described as “An RV in a post-apocalyptic world”? It was a white vehicle with tinted black windows, the main male character had brown hair… and that’s all I remember. Oh, I remember that. I called it _ **Ark 2** _ – I don’t believe that was it’s actual title, that was more or less the name of the RV thing and “Ark 2” was said loudly during the opening credits like it was important. It was on TV Saturday morning close to _Jason of Star Command_ and _Shazam_. I did come across a site about it on the web somewhere awhile back when I was looking for _Space Academy_. I’ll see if I can find it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sci-fi-ever/280049.md?page=8)