Possibly apocryphal, but good, supposedly said in response to British Foreign Secretary George Brown, 1968.
Speaking of Letterman:
I’m a big Madonna fan, but I remember her awful interview with him a while back. It was really painful to watch. I remember when she offered her panties for Dave to snif, and he was like “uh…no thanks”…
Howard Cosell on Monday Night Football:
“Look at that monkey run.”
There was Rush Limbaugh’s unwarrented attack on Chelsea Clinton (calling her “The White House Dog”). He lost a lot of fans that day and gave more fuel to his enemies. Hard core members were ashamed of his actions, apologist tried to blame everyone else in the production besides Rush, even though it was obvious he intended and approved the joke.
A hint for all old fart political broadcasters: Leave the teenage girls alone. I mean that in every way possible.
Poor Jimmy Carter. Once the media found Billy. . .
One for the Australians:
ACA reporter: “Are you xenophobic?”
Pauline Hanson: “<long, awkward pause> Please explain!”
“Please explain” of course became a highly-recognised catch-phrase and was later sampled in a popular CD single released by a Sydney drag queen.
I got to see the same incident played out twice… sort of.
When I was a kid in New York, the leading TV weatherman was Tex Antoine. During one newscast, the story right before the weather dealt with a little girl who’d been raped. As soon as that tragic story was over, on comes Tex Antoine, who quipped, “Well, you know what Confucius say? When rape is inevitable, just lie back and enjoy it.”
Needless to say, everyone in New York was disgusted, and Antoine was fired. As I recall, a smaller news station hired him, but he quickly wore out his welcome there, too.
Fast forward to the year 2000. I’m living in Texas now, and the governor’s race pits Democrat Ann Richards against Republican Clayton Williams. Williams is leading in most of the polls. Well, Claytie invites a large press crew to a big barbecue at his ranch, and it starts raining. Williams, trying to be clever, said “Well, you know what they say- when rape is inevitable, just lie back and enjoy it.”
Oh my God, talk about deja vu! As soon as I heard about that on TV, I knew Williams was finished, and that Ann Richards would be elected. To this day, I don’t think Williams grasps how horrible he sounded (I’m pretty sure that he only meant, “Oh well, the weather’s bad, nothing else to do but make the best of it”) or why anyone was offended.
So, I’ve already seen two prominent men go down in flames for using that same stupid, ugly line. Why do I have a bad feeling I’ll see it happen one more time before I die?
<<Temporary hijack>>
Tex Antoine! There’s a name from the past. I grew up in suburban NJ. Had heard that he was usually inebriated on the air.
We now join our usual thread already in progress.
Rush Limbaugh called Chelsea Clinton the White House Dog? Oh, man, that’s low – even for him.
I thought of another one:
Dewey Wins!
foreshadowing the recent:
“Exit polls indicate that Al Gore has won Florida and therefore the White House.”
Or, of course, the “my fellow Australians - if you are watching this I have been murdered” tape. It was later found that the “current affairs” (obtranslation: xenophobia and shonky plumbers) show had offered to let her make such a tape just so that they could make fun of her for accepting the invitation.
My preference, though, was for an ex-leader of the Opposition - John Hewson - who was campaigning on a platform of jingoism and had been loudly complaining how disgraceful it was that most Australians didn’t know the words to the national anthem, and demanding that immigrants learn it. He was then on the 7:30 Report
The interviewer, Paul Lyneham, introduced him and asked if he could sing the anthem. The interview went something like this.
JH: Well, I’m not going to sing it…
PL: Then just recite it for us.
JH: I don’t know the second verse…
PL: That’s OK. You know the first?
JH: Australia’s sons…
PL: Australians all
JH: Right. Right. Australians all…
<awkward pause>
PL: …let us rejoice…
JH: …let us rejoice…
<another awkward pause>
PL: …for we are…
<yet more awkward pausing>
JH: Uh, girt by sea?
PL: “Young and free”. You don’t know the words, do you?
Things got worse from there.
Then again, Paul was never the most gentle of interviewers - I remember him once scoring an interview with the Dalai Lama, and opening with “Your followers see you as the physical incarnation of the perfect being, but you have described yourself as a simple spiritual pilgrim. Your holiness, are your followers wrong?” before proceding to grill him about the Lamas’ history of brutally violent rule in Tibet and asking him to justify why such a situation should be restored. Ever seen the physical incarnation of the perfect being throw an almighty wobbly on national TV?
“Bitch set me up.”
– Marion Berry, official Stupidest Politician in America.
“[The Holocaust] was an obscene period in our nation’s history … this century’s history. … We all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”
– Dan Quayle, once a heartbeat away from The Button.
“Some sinister force had come in and applied the other energy source and taken care of the information on the tape.”
– Al Haig, talking about 18.5 minutes of fascist hubris.
“Space travel is utter blige.”
– Sir Richard Wolley, 1950s Astronomer Royal of Great Britain, obviously not keeping pace with the Colonies or Mother Russia.
Finally, the creme-de-la-creme of inane politalk, the ne plus ultra of public embarassment, only from the Morons in Power Golden Boy Himself, ladees and gennlmen, I bring you Dan Quayle and the Amazing Incomprehensible Ad-Lib!
“What a waste it is to lose one’s mind – or not to have a mind. How true that is.”
– Danny Boy, chosen because there are no IQ requirements for becoming the most powerful person in the world.
“Only in America!”
– Don King. [Actually commenting on the first Jewish leader of Ireland.]
From my hometown of Darwin, NT.
“For fifteen years, David Fidler has presented the nightly news for Darwin commercial television station Channel 8. During this period, he’s spoken of swimming for Australia at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics. In the late 1980’s, his achievements were also referred to by Australian Olympic champion Dawn Fraser.”
It turned out that the whole thing was a complete lie. He never swam for his state let alone his country as an Olympian. He was exposed by the Australian newspaper and sacked from the station.
The lead singer of Blind Melon, at a concert in Vancouver, stripped naked and pissed on the audience.
The entire OJ Simpson trial.
When did Ted Danson do Blackface?
Michael Crawford in Dance of the Vampires. He’ll regret that for the rest of his life.
Ted Danson appeared in blackface at a Friar’s Roast for Whoopi Goldberg. If you Google “Ted Danson” and “blackface” there are plenty of references to it. Here is one of the cites.
Regarding the Louise Lasser episode of SNL: I saw it on E! just a few weeks ago - so it is (now) back in reruns.
The cast covered really well - if one didn’t know the whole story, one could honestly wonder if it was intentional (as Andy Kaufman’s disastrous appearance on Friday’s apparently was).
The Anna Nicole Show.
Gary Condit?