# Worst sex scene of all time (R rated movies) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 30, 2009, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797 "2009-01-30T23:30:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/61 "2009-02-01T19:32:46Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I can see excluding rape scenes from this discussion, but what about scenes that are _intentionally_ bad? Like, say, _Team America: World Police_? What are you talking about?!?! That was **the best sex scene of all time**! Especially the DVD version! ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/62 "2009-02-01T19:35:19Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > The oral sex scene in _A History of Violence_ was pretty cringe-inducingly bad. ? You don’t mean the very first time they make love, do you? Because I thought that scene was fantastic, a marvelous portrayal of married sex between people who still find each other hot. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/63 "2009-02-01T20:04:02Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Sounds like the OP really, really, REALLY needs to get to the theater and see **The Wrestler** right now. Lots of top quality Marisa Tomei nakedness. Marisa Tomei pole dancing. Marisa Tomei giving a lap dance. Marisa Tomei’s nipple rings. I just wanted to give a big shoutout to **gaffa** , who pointed me to a movie that I wasn’t planning on seeing. Imagine my surprise when my wife wanted to go see “The Wrestler”. The movie was pretty good, albeit predictable, but damn if it wasn’t worth the 14 bucks to see Marisa be the old stripper. I don’t know how old she is, but she still has a kick ass body. And I now have something to erase my painful memory I posted in the OP. [homer] mmmmmmm nipple rings [/homer] Back to your regularly scheduled thread. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2009, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/64 "2009-02-01T22:15:30Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > I just wanted to give a big shoutout to **gaffa** , who pointed me to a movie that I wasn’t planning on seeing. You’re welcome. > [@](#): > > Imagine my surprise when my wife wanted to go see “The Wrestler”. It may be as perfect a “date movie” as _Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon_ in that it has the same magical combination of drama & romance and violence. If we accept the cliche, women will want to see it for the drama about his relationship with his daughter and the hesitant romance with the stripper, while men will want to see it for the wrasslin’ and top quality, vintage T&A. > [@](#): > > The movie was pretty good, albeit predictable, but damn if it wasn’t worth the 14 bucks to see Marisa be the old stripper. I don’t know how old she is, but she still has a kick ass body. She’s 44, but that’s in “Hollywood Years” - the type of years one has with personal trainers, excellent health care and thousands of dollars spent maintaining one’s skin. > [@](#): > > And I now have something to erase my painful memory I posted in the OP. Cool. Although, as I more closely resemble Phillip Seymour Hoffman than George Clooney, I may have to see _Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead_ for the unique experience of seeing a man who looks like me with a woman who looks like her in a Hollywood film (although there is the entire oeuvre of Mr. Ron Jeremy from the “Other Hollywood”). > [@](#): > > [homer] > mmmmmmm nipple rings > [/homer] They’re like little nipple donuts! ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/65 "2009-02-02T02:00:01Z")
All the sex scenes in _The Rules of Attraction_, but especially the first one (which opens the movie). Ugh ugh ugh. Also, there was only one halfway titillating scene in _Caligula_ other than Messalina and Agrippina’s sex scene. All the rest is just… gross. For that matter, Messalina and Agrippina’s sex scene is sort of gross, but at least not vomit-inducing. ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/66 "2009-02-02T03:17:06Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > …and it made me love Hoffman forever. “I’m an idiot! An idiot!” I was blown away by how perfectly he played that. Agreed. When I first saw that scene I remember thinking: _WHO is that guy?? He’s going to win an Oscar some day._ I’m no prescient genius. It’s just that it seemed so obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/67 "2009-02-02T04:25:18Z")
No…no…no… **The Chase** while in the car running from the cops with the sun setting and the lame music. I win. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/68 "2009-02-02T06:18:00Z")
Speaking of bad oral sex, how about when Vincent Gallo got a terrible blowjob in Blue Bunny? (Or something like that.) > [@Mississippienne](#): > > All the sex scenes in The Rules of Attraction, but especially the first one (which opens the movie). Ugh ugh ugh. Yeah…have you read the book? The opening sex scene in the book is enough to make you avoid parties for months. Hostile Dialect, Hostile Dialect, Narcissist ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/69 "2009-02-02T16:09:43Z")
> [@Hostile\_Dialect](#): > > Speaking of bad oral sex, how about when Vincent Gallo got a terrible blowjob in Blue Bunny? (Or something like that.) I don’t think the blowjob Chloe Sevigny delivered was at all bad; it seemed quite skillful. But she was extremely ill-advised to do so on screen. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/70 "2009-02-02T21:30:05Z")
I know the inclusion of rape scenes has been questioned, but this has to be nominated: in _Body of Evidence_, using candle wax and broken glass, Madonna and Willem Dafoe rape the audience. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/71 "2009-02-02T21:42:55Z")
When I opened this thread, it had 69 replies. ~snort~ ~chuckle~ ~burst out laughing~ ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/72 "2009-02-02T22:37:39Z")
The cave-rave rock-humping sex scene near the beginning of Matrix Reloaded between Neo and Trinity was like a Mountain Dew ad aimed at Burning Man aficionados. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/73 "2009-02-02T22:57:43Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t think the blowjob Chloe Sevigny delivered was at all bad; it seemed quite skillful. But she was extremely ill-advised to do so on screen. Ah, ya never know. Sevigny is still getting plenty of roles – some directors like actresses who are willing to push the envelope. Frex, Jennifer Connolly didn’t suffer any retribution for her double dildo lesbian scene in “Requiem for a Dream.” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/74 "2009-02-02T22:59:16Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > Ah, ya never know. Sevigny is still getting plenty of roles – some directors like actresses who are willing to push the envelope. Frex, Jennifer Connolly didn’t suffer any retribution for her double dildo lesbian scene in “Requiem for a Dream.” I didn’t write that Sevigny ruined her career. Just that she didn’t help it. And there’s an enormous difference between Requiem and Bunny. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/75 "2009-02-02T23:11:09Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > I know the inclusion of rape scenes has been questioned, but this has to be nominated: in _Body of Evidence_, using candle wax and broken glass, Madonna and Willem Dafoe rape the audience. I felt more like I’d been robbed. Of the three dollars it cost me to rent the movie. ---
**Author:** ![gnagtcha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@gnagtcha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnagtcha)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/76 "2009-02-03T03:34:11Z")
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. When Henry is raping the wife and the husband is tied up and being forced by the other guy to watch the whole scene and then the young son comes home and walks in and tries unsuccessfully to escape. Yikes! I can’t watch that movie just because of that scene ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/77 "2009-02-03T05:47:13Z")
> [@hazel-rah](#): > > The cave-rave rock-humping sex scene near the beginning of Matrix Reloaded between Neo and Trinity was like a Mountain Dew ad aimed at Burning Man aficionados. You know, I always had a feeling that Neo’s constipated look and inability to tell Trinity what’s really on his mind is due to the fact that he really wants her to wear some of that leather and PVC gear to bed but he has no idea how to ask her. ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/78 "2009-02-03T11:04:59Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > ? You don’t mean the very first time they make love, do you? Because I thought that scene was fantastic, a marvelous portrayal of married sex between people who still find each other hot. I just watched this movie \ The first one, the wife gets very “woohoo, I’m a cheerleader” and they go nuts. I found it very hot. I thought the later sex scene was very ugly and a good contrast. (All I could think was that HAS to be hurting her back and then seeing her cry with the bruise on her back was upsetting.) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797/79 "2009-02-03T19:02:36Z")
Madonna and Willem Dafoe on the hood of a car, with broken glass, in _Body of Evidence_, a wretched, awful film. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sex-scene-of-all-time-r-rated-movies/483797.md?page=3)