# Worst Simpsons Jokes Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 29, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594 "2003-12-29T16:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/1 "2003-12-29T16:14:00Z")
With apologies for quoting CBG (but note the lack of punctuation so all you CBG quoter haters don’t be hatin’), we’ve done pretty much every “best of” Simpsons thread imaginable so let’s do a “worst of” for a refreshing change of pace. In my mind the clear winner is from the ep where the family goes to Australia. Bart and Lisa are sitting in a pub and a Crocodile Dundee guy walks up brandishing a spoon: CDG: “That’s not a knife. _That’s_ (brandish) a knife.” Bart: That’s a spoon." CDG: Ah, I see you’ve played ‘knifie-spoonie’ before." Unbelievably bad joke. WTF was anyone thinking to write it in the first place and WTF was anyone thinking not to cut it? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/2 "2003-12-29T16:19:59Z")
Homer: “No funny stuff! And by funny stuff I mean holding hands, goo-goo eyes, misdirected woo—which is pretty much any John Woo film.” _Realllly_ reaching for a pun. ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/3 "2003-12-29T17:12:36Z")
And yet, I still use the knifey-spoony joke among friends and it gets a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/4 "2003-12-29T18:20:59Z")
Homer driving the car with Lisa and Marge. He pulls up to park and hits a statue of a deer. Homer: “D’oh!” Lisa: “A deer!” Marge: “A _female_ deer!” ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/5 "2003-12-29T18:39:21Z")
I thought the “Do’h” “a deer!” bit was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/6 "2003-12-29T18:42:02Z")
Finding a worst Simpsons’ joke is like looking through the finest box of chocolates that money could buy, and selecting the worst. ---
**Author:** ![Sketch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Sketch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sketch)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/7 "2003-12-29T20:43:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gadfly \* > \*\*Finding a worst Simpsons’ joke is like looking through the finest box of chocolates that money could buy, and selecting the worst. \*\* Nicely put! Personally I liked the knifey-spooney, and doh! a deer joke. However there are a few bad ones like the one where the kids are trying to convince their parents to listen to the radio… Bart: Hey I have an idea, instead of TV why don’t we listen to the radio! (turns of TV) Homer: Well put something on, I’m starting to think for myself! I think I messed that one up a bit, but that was the gist of it. It’s just so horribly obvious and lame. ---
**Author:** ![HumanStromboli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/958977/32.png) [@HumanStromboli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HumanStromboli)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/8 "2003-12-29T21:06:28Z")
**Homer: "I’m not signing anything . . . unless it’s a contract."** Stupid Homer? Check. Funny? No check. \*\*Homer: “I don’t care about you. I care about M-E: _My_ Enjoyment.” Same thing. **And, oh yeah, any joke Marge makes about anything “hip” which confirms her utter "unhipness.** ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/9 "2003-12-29T21:54:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > \*\*I thought the “Do’h” “a deer!” bit was funny. \*\* I did also; it was one of the “worst” simply for the ::groan:: factor. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/10 "2003-12-29T22:02:24Z")
I **love** the knifey-spooney joke, as well as the “D’oh, a deer” joke. There’s no accounting for taste, I suppose. One of my least favorite jokes is something like this: Marge: what’s wrong with bart? Homer: He got new glasses? Marge: he seems depressed about something Homer: Probably misses his old glasses ---
**Author:** ![The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Universe_Lashes_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/11 "2003-12-29T22:31:34Z")
I thought almost all of these were pretty funny, except for the misdirected Woo joke. I don’t have any contributions myself though, I can’t remember all the good jokes much less the bad ones. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/12 "2003-12-29T23:23:13Z")
I don’t have any contributions either, but **MaxtheVool’s** worst joke had me laughing out loud. Oh wait, I have one: “Quick Mitsy, chew through my ball sack!” _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/13 "2003-12-29T23:49:20Z")
> [@](#): > > _HumanStromboli_ > Homer: “I don’t care about you. I care about M-E: My Enjoyment.” WHAT!?! Everyone I know loves that joke, at least when I relay it to them. Proabably the problem is that you’re not even remembering it right. It went a little more like this: Bart: We’re playing to fund research on balcony collapsing. We might wipe out BC in under a year! Homer: I don’t care about BC! I care about M-E: “My enjoyment!” See, he was making a parallel to a previous abbreviation, so it didn’t unfunilly come out of nowhere like it did in your remembrance. ---
**Author:** ![Jayrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Jayrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayrot)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/14 "2003-12-29T23:56:48Z")
Homer: Aooowww! I sat on something sharp. R.W.: Oh that’s just Lara Flynn Boyle. Homer: Heh heh. I have a Boyle on my ass. Long set up for weak joke. Excellent episode though. ---
**Author:** ![HumanStromboli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/958977/32.png) [@HumanStromboli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HumanStromboli)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/15 "2003-12-30T00:07:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pizzabrat \* > \*\*Bart: We’re playing to fund research on balcony collapsing. We might wipe out BC in under a year! > Homer: I don’t care about BC! I care about M-E: “My enjoyment!” > > See, he was making a parallel to a previous abbreviation, so it didn’t unfunilly come out of nowhere like it did in your remembrance. \*\* No, I apologize. I messed up Homer’s line; I remembered the BC abbreviation, just didn’t remember Homer referencing it after Bart did. At any rate, that joke still sucks (IMHO . . . ), though, in retrospect, it might be because right after Homer says the _M-E_ line, he runs away doing the wussy crying that was sort of a recurring theme during, say, 2000-02 or so on the show. So, in my mind, any humor there (which I really don’t see still) is immediately wiped away by the way the scene ends—not coincidentally, that episode is also the episode where Marge ends a scene grumbling _Mmrrrrm_ at least twice. Just didn’t do it for me. ---
**Author:** ![IKinSpelGud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/46a35a/32.png) [@IKinSpelGud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IKinSpelGud)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/16 "2003-12-30T00:29:24Z")
The whole bit with the jockey elves was just _bad_. I hated that episode. ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/17 "2003-12-30T00:48:32Z")
I’ll have to agree with the ballsack joke too. I don’t like when The Simpsons lower themselves to that kind of humor. It seems really tasteless and immature, and SO NOT FUNNY. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/18 "2003-12-30T04:34:14Z")
I thought that the entire “Sideshow Bob runs for mayor” episode was one bad joke. But those lousy jockey elves do run a close second. ---
**Author:** ![HomerIU](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HomerIU](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HomerIU)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/19 "2003-12-30T04:36:46Z")
Its not really a line or joke, but killing off Maude…sank pretty low their. ``` Speaking of which, I am surprised that no one has mentioned when they had the animated Clinton say something to Marge like, "You may think I am too good for you, but you are wrong. I've done it with pigs." I can't believe they'd actually portray the president as someone who'd have sex with pigs. I found it funny, but I was incredibly surprised there was no boycotts or outrage from someone over this. I guess its more in poor taste rather than unfunny. I like the knifey/spoony bit. Two gags come to mind. When Sideshow Bob chases bart to the houseboat and keeps stepping on the rakes. It gets annoying. A bit too long. And the writers admittedly did this just for filler because the episode was short. The other is when WIlly goes to Scotland to get the Loch Ness monster and meets his parents. They try to make a joke out of the Scottish having no emotion by just showing his parents say, "Oh you're back" and then just standing there, or something like that, but it really just didn't work. ``` ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594/20 "2003-12-30T05:35:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HomerIU \* > \*\* > Two gags come to mind. When Sideshow Bob chases bart to the houseboat and keeps stepping on the rakes. It gets annoying. A bit too long. \*\* The Rake Scene is friggin’ brilliant. It starts, and is funny, then it goes on too long, and then it just keeps going and going and going and gets funnier and funnier. The best thing about it is how totally preposterous it is that there’s this big open area with dozens of rakes just lying around waiting to be stepped on. Perfection. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-simpsons-jokes-ever/221594.md?page=2)