# Worst sincere suggestions you've received.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 22, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028 "2011-07-22T21:13:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\
**Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/21 "2011-07-22T23:33:07Z")

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> [@chiroptera](#):
>
> [QUOTE=Kolga]
> 
> “You need to have children. There aren’t enough smart white people having kids.”

Would have been a much better story had you bitch-slapped him! Next time, mmm-K?  
[/QUOTE]

False. The correct response is to stare at him, smile sweetly, and say, “True enough- you’re a perfect example of that fact.”

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**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\
**Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/22 "2011-07-22T23:56:12Z")

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“Go to Africa and find a man looking for a green card,” my mother advised after I told her how difficult it is to find guy worth dating.

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**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [July 22, 2011, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/23 "2011-07-22T23:58:05Z")

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“Shannon, you are such a good writer. You should write novels and you’ll get rich that way!”

I love the several people who had made that approximate suggestion, but clearly they have no idea that writing a book(s) frequently is **not** the ticket to untold wealth…not that I’m not working on a (okay, two) novels, but I’m not a wide-eyed optimist who thinks that the things will sell, and sell well, just as long as I commit them to paper.

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**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/24 "2011-07-23T00:04:29Z")

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“You should wear make-up. You’d be very pretty.”

“You should try coloring your hair a chestnut color. That color doesn’t flatter you.”

Both of these came within 5 seconds of each other from someone I’d known all of 30 minutes. She then asked one of my friends if it bothered her that her engagement ring was “so small.”

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**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/25 "2011-07-23T00:31:45Z")

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Shortly before I got out of my first marriage, for some silly reason I told my MIL that her son was abusing me. She told me I should have sex with him. The obvious implication was that if I was just nice enough to him he’d quit beating me up.

I have to admit, I never saw any indication of intelligence in that woman.

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**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/26 "2011-07-23T00:47:45Z")

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Not entirely an outside suggestion, but when I was considering law school, several lawyers I know (including my father) were exceedingly encouraging. I feel, in retrospect, like at least one should have mentioned either the shaky state of the profession or the fact that I have a personality that might not be best suited for legal practice.

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**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/27 "2011-07-23T00:50:51Z")

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> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#):
>
> A few times when I’ve been just sad or depressed, someone suggested I should have a baby. Really.

Yep, I’ve heard that one a few times. I got especially angry when as my first marriage was crumbling (over the issue of having children incidently) clueless people made that suggestion that I should have a baby to keep the marriage together.

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**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/28 "2011-07-23T00:57:30Z")

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Just yesterday I was complaining that I’d fallen asleep without my $400 custom-made night appliance that keeps my jaw in line, and thus my whole body hurt.

My best friend’s sister popped in to the conversation to say “I used to work for a dentist and he told his patients to wear a sports guard.”

So her solution to me being in pain for having forgotten to wear my expensive appliance was to go back in time and remember to wear a $5 sports thingy instead?

I replied “Cool, that was a good story Kathy.”

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**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/29 "2011-07-23T00:57:56Z")

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After the birth of my second son, a neighbour asked me quite seriously if I was disappointed/jealous that “Kathy had got the girl”, as though it was some sort of lottery and my beautiful baby was a kind of booby prize.

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**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/30 "2011-07-23T00:58:56Z")

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> [@misstee](#):
>
> off topic, but similar- about a month after my father died I was speaking to a co-worker who said " I know just how you feel, my DOG died this summer, too."
> 
> I was too stunned to speak- however if I would have thought quicker I would have asked if her dog f\*cked her mother and gave her siblings and fond memories of family vacations.

Some pet owners have feelings for their pets as intense or more so than they have for other humans including family members, so I wouldn’t discount her feelings for the dog. The dog may have been the one creature that loved and cared for her and gave her all her fond family memories. A truly bad, but sincere suggestion would been someone who had a bad relationship with their father saying something like “I can’t wait until my father dies.”

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**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/31 "2011-07-23T01:10:31Z")

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I suffer from severe pre-menstral cramps and was complaining to a co-worker that I didn’t get much sleep the night before due to pain from these cramps. She looked at me and said, “Well, why didn’t you just make yourself fall asleep? That way you wouldn’t feel the pain since you’d be asleep.”  
I replied, “Tonight before bed, let me put your big toe in a vice grip and tighten it until the pain is unbearable. Ok, now just go to sleep. Try it.”  
She looked at me clueless. Obviously, she’s one of the lucky ones who has never felt anything more than minor pain in her life. Bitch.

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**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/32 "2011-07-23T01:20:02Z")

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After a spectacularly failed adoption, from a cousin of my husband’s that I’ve never met, over the phone at 6:45 AM.

“You should go to China. This lady from work, her son went to China. Nobody took the baby away.”

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**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/33 "2011-07-23T01:41:26Z")

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This was some years ago. I’m fat and was gaining weight, also I suffer from depression.

It was suggested that I would be better off sucking dick instead of stuffing my face.

This came from my psychiatrist.

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**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/34 "2011-07-23T02:12:23Z")

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> [@Foggy](#):
>
> This was some years ago. I’m fat and was gaining weight, also I suffer from depression.
> 
> It was suggested that I would be better off sucking dick instead of stuffing my face.
> 
> This came from my psychiatrist.

:eek:

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**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/35 "2011-07-23T02:18:08Z")

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> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#):
>
> A truly bad, but sincere suggestion would been someone who had a bad relationship with their father saying something like “I can’t wait until my father dies.”

My wife was once going through a few rough patch when her grandfather (who was her only father figure in childhood) was disagnosed with a serious, life-threatening illness. Her best friend at the time stopped talking to her entirely because she hated her own grandfather and thought my wife was being selfish in not appreciating that some people _want_ their grandparents to die.

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**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/36 "2011-07-23T02:22:09Z")

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> [@Foggy](#):
>
> This was some years ago. I’m fat and was gaining weight, also I suffer from depression.
> 
> It was suggested that I would be better off sucking dick instead of stuffing my face.
> 
> This came from my psychiatrist.

Wait, you left off “ex-” right?

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**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/37 "2011-07-23T02:31:10Z")

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That since I no longer am a Jehovah’s Witness, I should join the Unitarian Church.

I think I’ll just stay away from churches altogether, thank you.

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**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/38 "2011-07-23T03:15:46Z")

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> [@mattwan](#):
>
> I’m surprised nobody’s given the classic yet: “It doesn’t matter what you major in or where you go to school, all that matters is getting a degree.” I think that one’s finally dying off, thank goodness.

Sigh. Try laughing over that one with someone who has no degree and is looking for a job. It’s more true today than ever.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/39 "2011-07-23T03:22:07Z")

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> [@jabiru](#):
>
> After the birth of my second son, a neighbour asked me quite seriously if I was disappointed/jealous that “Kathy had got the girl”, as though it was some sort of lottery and my beautiful baby was a kind of booby prize.

To be fair, I know two women who oddly want a boy and a girl. (One wants a girl and the other wants a boy) They’ve both made it clear having the opposite sex would drive them up the wall. Maybe your neighbor knows someone like this and thinks everyone feels this way.

When I graduated college, the economy was still in fairly good shape. A few people seriously suggested I should go on welfare. When that ran out I should look for a job. :dubious:

Someone once told me I should be a teacher. I can’t stand most kids.

A few people told me to become a nurse. I hate blood and all that stuff.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/40 "2011-07-23T03:24:13Z")

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> [@Foggy](#):
>
> This was some years ago. I’m fat and was gaining weight, also I suffer from depression.
> 
> It was suggested that I would be better off sucking dick instead of stuffing my face.
> 
> This came from my psychiatrist.

I have to know if they were a man or woman.

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