# Worst sincere suggestions you've received. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 22, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028 "2011-07-22T21:13:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/161 "2011-07-29T19:37:56Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > So would it be inappropriate for a Jewish child to invite a Christian friend on a synagogue-sponsored hayride? Could I invite a Jewish friend to share lunch at the fundraiser for lunch at the Thai temple? I seem to recall being invited to semi-public events at synagogues. Was that wrong? There is a significant difference between going to a function of a few hours duration, centered around a non-religious activity (hayride, lunch, whatever) and going to _camp_, which implies more than a day and often sleeping at the location away from home. > [@](#): > > What is so impossible about teaching a kid “this is what they believe, and this is what we believe?” After the age of eight or so, a kid should be able to make sense of that, and I don’t think hearing a parable is going to cause harm to their Jewish identity any more than watching people celebrate Holi would cause a Christian child to get all mixed up. From my viewpoint it’s not a matter of “this is what A believe, this is what B believes” or getting “mixed up”, it being put in a situation where the message is “your beliefs/customs/etc are inferior to ours” or “you shouldn’t be A, you should be B, because only B is right.” > [@](#): > > She wanted to invite you to a social event that she didn’t think was particularly religious (which is what I imagine is what she meant by “non-denominational.”). If it was non-religious it would be _secular_. “Non-denominational” implies it is religious, but not a \*particular \*sect or (Christian) church. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/162 "2011-07-29T20:01:41Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I guess ya’ll is now a mod. 😛 No, what **alice\_in\_wonderland** said isn’t necessarily junior modding. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/163 "2011-07-29T20:11:52Z")
Someone in my thread I just made asking about what documentaries to show my high school debate students just suggested “Inside Deep Throat.” Does that count? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/164 "2011-07-29T20:19:15Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > ?😕😕😕? > > Did you live on a farm? Nope. Although this was in Saskatoon, Canada where there is a fairly large agriculture program at the local university. I think he might have been suggesting that it was easy to get scholarships to the College of Agriculture at the U of S, but the idea of studying agriculture to become a mathematician… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/165 "2011-07-29T20:28:39Z")
She talked about “trips,” not camps. Camps are usually pretty heavy on the indoctornation and probably not appropriate for someone of a different religion. But a trip can be any number of things. I’m guessing by context and usage that the suggester either didn’t mean or didn’t entirely understand “non-denomination,” and was probably genuinelt trying to express it would be something in the range of appropriate and comfortable for a non-Christian person. Totally reasonable for a parent to decline for any reason, really. Nobody is saying shr was wrong to turn it down. But this seems more like a slightly misguided polite invitqation, far from “the worst advie you’ve ever recieved.” Then again, I think Africa is a great place to meet a husband, moving to China after grad school is a great idea and stuffing your face wth dick is a solid plan. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/166 "2011-07-29T20:34:49Z")
I think a lot of Christians have very misguided ideas about what would be appropriate or comfortable for non-Christians. It comes from being a member of the majority dominant religion in their culture. Anyway, I have another one for the thread: When Whatsit Jr. started kindergarten he had a lot of behavioral problems, and I was told by many people, “He’ll grow out of it, he’s just being a boy, etc.” Yeah, after I got him meds and therapy for Asperger’s/ADHD, he “miraculously” started doing better in school and, most importantly, making friends. “Boys will be boys” my ass. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/167 "2011-07-29T20:35:21Z")
The last nine words of the above post made me laugh waaaay harder than is appropriate… 😃 ETA: simul-post! Ack! I meant **sven’s** post: “…stuffing your face with dick is a solid plan.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/168 "2011-07-29T20:40:07Z")
[Mod Note]Please take the discussion about the appropriateness of religious groups hosting people of other religions elsewhere.[/Mod Note] ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/169 "2011-07-29T21:00:47Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > The last nine words of the above post made me laugh waaaay harder than is appropriate… 😃 > > ETA: simul-post! Ack! I meant **sven’s** post: “…stuffing your face with dick is a solid plan.” Ha! I was like, “Well, I guess that’s sort of funny…but why start with “importantly”?” ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/170 "2011-07-30T00:27:50Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I think a lot of Christians have very misguided ideas about what would be appropriate or comfortable for non-Christians. It comes from being a member of the majority dominant religion in their culture. > > Anyway, I have another one for the thread: When Whatsit Jr. started kindergarten he had a lot of behavioral problems, and I was told by many people, “He’ll grow out of it, he’s just being a boy, etc.” Yeah, after I got him meds and therapy for Asperger’s/ADHD, he “miraculously” started doing better in school and, most importantly, making friends. “Boys will be boys” my ass. My mom was told the same thing about my OCD. And I am often told to just get over any problems I have, as if it works like it does on TV. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/171 "2011-08-08T19:50:31Z")
> [@MissSwitac](#): > > She looked at me and said, “Well, why didn’t you just make yourself fall asleep? That way you wouldn’t feel the pain since you’d be asleep.” > … She looked at me clueless. Obviously, she’s one of the lucky ones who has never felt anything more than minor pain in her life. Bitch. OOH, I’d love to know the trick to that. Just will myself to sleep. Wish that worked for me. > [@Foggy](#): > > It was suggested that I would be better off sucking dick instead of stuffing my face. Well, to be fair, there are fewer calories, and semen is actually a mood enhancer: > [@](#): > > However, in 2002 Gordon Gallup and colleagues published a study of 293 college women suggesting semen might indeed be a mood brightener. Their basis for this claim: heterosexually active women who never used condoms scored lower on depression (there’s a test for this — there’s a test for everything) than either (a) women who did use condoms or (b) women who didn’t have intercourse at all. > **[Is semen an antidepressant?](https://www.straightdope.com/21344061/is-semen-an-antidepressant)** :D:o > [@moejoe](#): > > Sigh. Try laughing over that one with someone who has no degree and is looking for a job. It’s more true today than ever. I don’t think the point was that you could get a job without a degree, but rather that the degree you get is at least somewhat significant to your job prospects. > [@Becky2844](#): > > It’s like sucking on a dry tit." I like sucking on dry tits. What? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/172 "2011-08-08T20:36:48Z")
I’m not sure how the topic came up, but I once told a cab driver that my then-GF was going through a cancer scare, and was scheduled for a full hysterectomy, and was scared shitless about the whole thing, and didn’t really have anyone to rely on for emotional support but me. His response? Leave her, because she would no longer be a Real Woman. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/173 "2011-08-09T00:11:05Z")
Apologies if this has already been mentioned… I own one of those emergency car battery chargers that you charge from home current and then carry around until needed. My father insists, quite vehemently, that I should not carry it in my vehicle lest someone steal it; rather, I should leave it at home at all times. I’d like to say he’s getting nuts in his old age, but he’s always been like that. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/174 "2011-08-09T08:30:16Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > This makes me profoundly sad, because it sounds like the MIL is speaking from experience. I’m hoping I’m wrong, and your ex-FIL was a stand-up, wonderful man, but that sort of “advice” sounds like ex-MIL has been beaten by a man in the past, and found if she fucked him more often, he’d be happier and wouldn’t hit her as much ☹ Actually, as much as I don’t like making you sad, I have to say you’ve got the situation pegged. Well, at least part of it. By the time I knew my ex-FIL he was bedridden with the brain tumor that would kill him. So I don’t know how they had interacted. I do know he was abusive to his wife and son. That might be why I finally told her, in the (vain) hope that she might sympathize. It’s not as if we were close like that. But it’s all long in the past, E-FIL has been gone for years, and I don’t know if E-MIL is still alive, either. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/175 "2011-08-09T08:57:18Z")
I once posted for advice about my (then) boyfriend’s habit of correcting me in front of other people. The overwhelming response was that not only should I DTMFA, but that my boyfriend needed counselling STAT! Not one person challenged me as to whether I had let my boyfriend know how his behaviour was affecting me. I decided myself that this was what I should do, he was mortified when he realised what he was doing and after a bumpy start, he no longer corrects me in public. We’ve now been together 15 years, married five. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/176 "2011-08-09T09:22:47Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > His response? Leave her, because she would no longer be a Real Woman. Of all the suggestions, this one takes the cake ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/177 "2011-08-09T13:00:30Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Of all the suggestions, this one takes the cake Really? I win the thread? Because there are some real doozies here! ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/178 "2011-08-09T16:21:44Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > It’s funny how it’s always members of a majority religion that think it’s no big deal to send your kid to their school, or their camp, or whatever. Not all of them, but it’s always them. It’s no big deal to send your kid to Christian camp! Except that your own religion and culture is already drowning in a sea of Christianity, and even the best and most liberal of parents often want _some_ of their culture passed on to the kids. > [@Anaamika](#): > > It’s not inappropriate to make the invitation…but once you gather the other person’s opinion: > > It’s time to stop. She said no thanks because she was Jewish, drop it. And I beg to differ that hearing not one parable, but zillions, won’t have some affect on one’s religious identity. > > And yes, I would be much more OK with my kid going to, say, a Jewish event, or a Buddhist event or really anything but Christian. This is not anti-Christian, really, it’s anti majority religion. In this country they are going to be saturated in Christianity all their lives. I was saturated in Christianity from a very early childhood, with first communions, and comments about how their god was the best, and how we were wrong and misguided. And that is what happens, even by well-meaning, kind people. I’d rather limit their exposure to that as much as I can when they are young. > > Personally, I think lots of Christian kids could benefit from going to some other religions’ activities - but honestly I see Christian parents monitoring their kids as much if not more. That’s OK, but the reverse is not OK? I’m sorry I didn’t see the rest of this thread. Very busy right now! These posts explain my feelings very well. I was just taken aback by the neighbor’s “non-denominational church” line. Churches are Christian and she knows we’re raising our daughters as Jews. She happens to be a really good person and a terrific parent. I was just shocked at her presumption that everyone she meets or knows is Christian. It’s the same thing with our local school district. They held classes on Passover and then gave kids off Good Friday. The neighborhood Jews were shocked and irked. When we tried to explain to school officials that this was unfair we were met with indifference and shrugs. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/179 "2011-08-09T17:24:10Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > It’s the same thing with our local school district. They held classes on Passover and then gave kids off Good Friday. The neighborhood Jews were shocked and irked. When we tried to explain to school officials that this was unfair we were met with indifference and shrugs. I had that experience growing up, too. My middle school was majority-Jewish, so school was closed for the High Holidays and teachers made a point of not assigning homework on the first night of Hanukkah or the first night seder at Passover, because they knew that we wouldn’t be able to do the work. When I moved to Texas, however, my teachers could not understand that not every student is Christian, so I (and other non-Christian students) had to deal with a lot of insensitivity with respect to religion and culture. I don’t take offense to a lot of things, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the same concessions made to those of the dominant religion. If you’re going to excuse students from homework because of a revival meeting at a local church, you need to excuse non-Christian students because of their observances. (Yes, that actually happened. One of my teachers told us that we would be excused from homework if we brought in the program from that revival. The rest of us would still be on the hook. That teacher was an idiot for this and other reasons, all of which having to do with religion.) My own contributions to the topic at hand come from my mother. After my first child died, she thought it would be a splendid idea for me to get pregnant almost immediately after. Never mind the fact that I had no idea how the baby died, or what kind of damage was done to my reproductive system; the best fix for infant loss is to have another! My other “worst advice” came when I was pregnant with the sprog. She thought this would be a great time to go on a reducing diet so I wouldn’t have any baby weight to lose, and wouldn’t it be fantastic to weigh even less! Since she has yet to give me good advice about anything, I just blow her off entirely. Yet she thinks hers is the best advice in all of human existence. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028/180 "2011-08-09T18:08:22Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > She talked about “trips,” not camps. Camps are usually pretty heavy on the indoctornation and probably not appropriate for someone of a different religion. But a trip can be any number of things. I’m guessing by context and usage that the suggester either didn’t mean or didn’t entirely understand “non-denomination,” and was probably genuinelt trying to express it would be something in the range of appropriate and comfortable for a non-Christian person. > > Totally reasonable for a parent to decline for any reason, really. Nobody is saying shr was wrong to turn it down. But this seems more like a slightly misguided polite invitqation, far from “the worst advie you’ve ever recieved.” > > Then again, I think Africa is a great place to meet a husband, moving to China after grad school is a great idea and stuffing your face wth dick is a solid plan. This totally cracked me up. Thank you! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/worst-sincere-suggestions-youve-received/590028.md?page=10)